Recovery Connections Network

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

“Magazines and opinions of you and stuff like that, those will change, but your opinion of yourself does not have to be based on what other people say. So I just learned that my inner voice has to be louder than their outside voice.”

-Jennifer Love Hewitt

“Seek out that particular mental attribute which makes you feel most deeply and vitally alive, along with which comes the inner voice which says, ‘This is the real me,’ and when you have found that attitude, follow it.” -James Truslow Adams

“That inner voice has both gentleness and clarity. So to get to authenticity, you really keep going down to the bone, to the honesty, and the inevitability of something.” -Meredith Monk

The alcohol drenched inner-voice was non-stop complaining, firing bolts of energy from one neuron to another, high-jacking my ability to think clearly. This cycle of negative thinking created a deep groove in my mind, with the slightest agitation launching a flood of jumbled thinking. Once on this negative path, it was easy to settle in and stay for the long haul.

Sobriety and Statement #2 in action alleviate many of the complications from negative thinking. Instead of feeling overwhelmed with fearful or anxious thoughts, I can comfort from within. My inner voice has become a friend again; a part of me that is authentic and real. It took some time to begin to trust this inner voice again but sobriety and recovery continue to strengthen inner communication.

It is comforting to reach for Statement #2 in times of crisis or uncertainty. Seeking guidance from within, I can pause instead of making knee-jerk reactions or exploding in anger. Examining negative thoughts enables skillful thinking and options can come to light. The deep negative channel from long ago has become filled with intuition and guidance which assists in feelings of balance. Hugzzz, Karen

Hi 4C Women,

Balance - in times of great stress and huge challenges, I yearned to find a way to become centered, focused and able to have a positive outlook. Overcoming feelings of inadequacy was the first obstacle. That feeling only caused more self-inflicted pain and a false self-image based on others “assumed” opinion of me. I eventually learned to turn off that negative inner critic even when he was screaming old “false” messages in my ear. I began to find my truth, my new identity of being a 4C woman. Slowly I began to stop the inner critic from trying to take away the positive image I was creating of myself. He was a stubborn critic yet I am pleased to say he is quiet for the most part. Only when I feel overwhelmed and fearful does he try to make a comeback. He is a sneaky guy. But I am a 4C woman and he’s not a match for all that hard work I’ve done.

Think about the negative messages you send yourself.

Is it a true fact or is it an old message?
Does it advance and protect your emotional and/or physical health?
What is your fear of showing the world your authentic self?

Here are some exercises from Stand Up for Your Life by Cheryl Richardson that might help you work on facing your inner critic and develop a positive self-image:

Monitor your thought for one day. Write them down. Don’t judge these thoughts; just become a witness to your inner dialogue. At the end of the day, go back and review what you’ve written. What percentage of your thoughts build you up, give you confidence or support your well-being? What percentage brings you down or prevents you from fully expressing your power? Are there any themes?
Once that is accomplished, develop an inner ally by identifying 5 of your best character qualities and create 5 “you” statements to remind you of how powerful you are.
Learn to watch your words – revise your vocabulary! Make a list of 3 old words or phrases and use the new words or phrases you’ll replace them with.
List 5 ways in which you will change your behavior.
*I will stop doing:
*I will start doing:
Identify your outer allies.
Find your power song/songs and play it/them often!