January 13 CHAP 31 v 10 v 11 TWELVE STEPPING WITH STRENGTH FROM THE PSALMS

I am dying from grief ; my years are shortened by sadness . Sin (addiction) has drained my strength ;

I am wasting away from within. I am scorned by all my enemies and despised by my neighbors  even my friends are afraid to come near me. 

(GODS BIG BOOK )

Scorn is open disrespect for someone or something. It can also be disrespect coupled with feelings of intense dislike.

STEP 1. We admitted we were powerless over chemical substances—that our lives had become unmanageable .

The Psalm is describing the rock bottom in which I found myself fourteen years ago .The twelve Steps I discovered were going to be the only way I could climb out of this place. Addiction left me with absolutely no strength left to take the first step .Too this day and I cant explain it some super natural unseen power lifted my leg for me and placed it on that step . At the bottom of the steps was nothing but the blackest of darkness. Fear ,  despair , and grief were hands coming through the steps ,holding me in place or tripping me up causing me to fall to the bottom again ,but every time I fell that super natural unseen power put my leg back on that step again and again and again. At the top of the steps was a door that would get me out of this GOD forsaken place. I could see a light coming through the bottom and I wanted desperately to step in to the light and out of this darkness . Anywhere but here is the voice I heard whispering in my heavy heart . Up the steps I went but ,  fear ,  despair , and grief became  hands reaching through the steps ,holding me in place or tripping me up   causing me to fall to the bottom again ,but every time I fell that super natural unseen power put my leg back on that step again and again and again .Climbing those stairs was the most difficult thing I have ever done in life ! I  got to the top and opened the door there was light fresh air and freedom to go anywhere I choose .Freedom for the first time in my life !  Occasionally I pass that basement door and sometimes I hear a whisper that says come inside , but deep down in my heart I know if I open and enter again I might never get out so I say a little prayer and thank God that I am out of the basement. 

Isaiah 9:2 The people who walk in darkness Will see a great light; Those who live in a dark land, The light will shine on them. (GODS BIG BOOK )   By Joseph Dickerson