“Your life has always been a process of growing and outgrowing. You quickly outgrew your clothes as an infant. You outgrew your shoes before you wore them out. You took great pride when you grew beyond that mark on the tree, the door frame, or the chart in school. You were happy when you grew through puberty into your adolescent body. However, for some reason, today it is difficult to accept you have out-grown a habit, career, relationship, or even your hometown. You hold on, afraid to let go, trying to make it work, subjecting yourself to physical, emotional, and spiritual pain. This is not a good thing! If life is going to work in your behalf, you must give yourself permission to grow. If it no longer makes you happy; if you are searching unsuccessfully for ways to make it work; if you know in your heart of hearts that whatever it is, it’s over---let go and grow. Be willing to search for new ways to grow. Be open to new environments to grow in. Always be on the lookout for people who are growing and are willing to help you grow. Never feel bad about your growth. Some people will not support you. Others will try to make you feel bad. You might be afraid. You might even experience some pain. Know that it is all a part of growing and growing up. If you need a little taste of the pain you will create when you do not allow yourself to grow, stick your feet into the shoes you wore to the high school prom!”
Faith in the Valley by Iylanla Vanzant
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Statement #8, “The fundamental object of life is emotional and spiritual growth.”
Daily I put my life into a proper order, knowing which are the priorities.
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“Why don’t you act your age?!” “Why don’t you just grow up?” “What on earth are you waiting for?” There were just a few of the questions/judgments that I said to myself again and again before my New Life. Alcohol stopped growth in my life cold. Done. Over. I thought, felt and acted in ways that kept me stuck. Stuck in drama, stuck in negativity, stuck in life. There was no room for growth with alcohol in my life and I had no idea what I was missing.
Sobriety and Statement #8 in action provides a portal for growth to enter and evolve. I have come so far already. I have grown into a 4C woman who has so much to give life. I feel purpose, I feel strength and I feel value. By giving myself permission to grow, I move into the real me and leave behind the old vocabulary and criticisms.
Accepting and living in growth also takes off so much pressure, especially pressure relating to competition. I am able to use my own yardstick and compare myself to myself instead of trying to attain or achieve the unattainable.
Growth also enables me to release what was, which creates room for what is. On occasion, other individuals do not appreciate or assist in my growth; however, I continue on. It then becomes just another landmark that I have reached. I have found new horizons and new avenues and continue to discover moments to cherish.
Do you acknowledge your growth? If not, why not?
Where would you like to grow next?
Hugzzz, Karen
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Hi 4C Women,
One question that came to my mind in Karen’s message is something from a previous message from Nancy and it was “Who or What is getting shortchanged in your life now?”
When we are unwilling to embrace change, someone pays the price. For me this year, I have come to the realization that it is me. Many times we put others before our own well-being out of guilt and shame of behavior from the past that cannot or ever will be changed. I strongly feel that our priority is definitely to let go of the shame and guilt and let our guiding force be based on our emotional and spiritual growth. This is our choice - to grow and let go. Are you willing and ready? -Dee
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