January 6 Chap 11 v 2 TWELVE STEPPING WITH STRENGTH FROM THE PSALMS

The wicked are stringing their bows and fitting their arrows on the bowstrings .They shoot from the shadows at those whose hearts are right .  (GODS BIG BOOK )

STEP 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

I have been on both sides of the shadow. I have been the shooter and the victim . It amazes me now that I have come out of my coma from all the self medicating and through the steps just how messed up was my thinking and coping. My journey of recovery has revealed some messed traits I have developed ,and if I am not careful ,I could pass them on to my son. When some one is successful I tend to get jealous who doesn't , but back in the day  I would do whatever I could to mess you up or knock you down. I justified my behavior by convincing myself  that you thought you were better then everybody else .You had to get knocked down a couple pegs as I would put it.This makes me an emotional sniper waiting for my target , my rifle is loaded with bullets of pride , anger , and jealously .What I did not realize was I had the rifle  aimed at me instead of my target. Let me explain when we try to damage others because of their successes we only wind up hurting ourselves. The damage caused will be a burden we wind up carrying and after time that burden added with all the other burdens become too heavy and we collapse . Step 8 will help you get rid of the burdens avoiding the collapse and bringing emotional , physical , and spiritual freedom.

James 3 14:15 - But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. (GODS BIG BOOK )

By Joseph Dickerson