“That’s been one of my mantras--focus and simplicity. Simple can be harder than complex: You have to work hard to get your thinking clean to make it simple. But it’s worth it in the end because once you get there, you can move mountains.” –Steve Jobs
“Positive thinking is more than just a tagline. It changes the way we behave. And I firmly believe that when I am positive it not only makes me better, but is also makes those around me better.” -Harvey Mackay
“Belief that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact.” -William James
“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.”
Statement #5, “I am what I think.”
I am a capable, competent, caring, compassionate woman.
+ Karen’s Perspective +
Statement #5, the center of the WFS New Life Acceptance Program continues to assist so many women with one simple strategy, manage our thoughts. It is quite simple in concept but much more difficult to maintain. I recall the first time I became aware of my thinking; I felt extremely agitated and mad since I had no idea how to shut off the many thoughts that seemed to bombard my mind. I felt like I had walked into another world. In fact, I did. A beautiful New Life.
Sobriety and Statement #5 in action provide a pathway for growth and healing to take place. Being able to manage thoughts that relate to drinking or cravings, I am free to manage any thought or any repetitive sentence and alter my self-talk.
In the past, it was easy for me to dump on me. I did this while alone and with others. “Gosh, that was sooo stupid!!” or “I’ll never believe I can do this/that,” are now reworded with encouragement and some 4C affection. “I’ll learn from this moment” sounds and feels much better as well as “Of course I can, and if I cannot, I will try again!”
Unlike Steve Jobs, I don’t wish to move mountains. I don’t need to leave a dent in the Universe as he had mentioned. No Apple, no iPhone discoveries, nothing but simple simplicity. I do, however, wish to continue to lead a life of relationships, connections, growth and love.
It all starts with a thought. Hugzzz, Karen
+ Dee’s Insights +
Hi 4C Women, I remember in the beginning how difficult it was to think positive about my life or myself. Believe me, if you wanted to know what I thought about myself, I had plenty of negative adjectives to last a lifetime, or at least a day, if you had the time or energy to listen to it. As Dr. Phil says, “How much fun are you to be around?”
I must admit that it took a while to say “I am a competent woman” at the beginning of each meeting and really mean it. The more I practiced the statements and truly changed my thinking, the easier it became and one day I realized, I believed it! I also began to notice that how I thought about myself dictated how I behaved to the world. I don’t know why anyone would have wanted to stick around negative Dee because I didn’t even like me. The more I started putting positive adjectives into my definition of me, I felt good about myself. I finally believed I was a 4C woman and I could feel happiness building inside - authentic happiness. It takes a lot of concentrated effort to change thought patterns and sometimes that inner critic pays a visit and you have to knock him/her off your shoulder.
A while back, we did work on the inner critic in our group. Thanks to a workshop Nina and I did a few years ago at the WFS conference, I had a lot of material to work with. Several of us named our inner critic and so when old messages, old behavior and negative thoughts about ourselves that no longer was our truth started creeping in, we decided we would shout the name and tell them to be quiet (or perhaps a bit stronger message).
The past is gone forever and, as long as we are open and willing to change our thoughts, our definition of who we are NOW is what counts. That is positive self-talk. How would you define yourself today? This week, catch yourself when you start thinking negatively about yourself and especially if you say it to someone else. Is it your truth or someone else’s old definition of who you were or who you thought you were? Awareness is the key to change. –Dee
Thank you, Karen and Dee, for your words of encouragement and inspiration to change those negative thoughts into positive self-talk! ~Becky Fenner, WFS Director
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