Sunday, July 20, 2014


Their insults have broken my heart , and I am in despair .If only one person would show some pity ;

if only one would turn and comfort me .

Step 1 - We admitted we were powerless over our addiction - that our lives had become unmanageable.

Fear , anger , and insecurity were the roots of my addiction . Let me try and explain ! First of all the verse from the Psalm is where I found myself .Thirty years of my life were spent in a dungeon of despair ! My childhood was developed by negative words and sexual abuse delivered to me by an older cousin . From the age of ten the seeds of anger and fear were planted and the icing on my cake of life was the constant fear of failure . The fear of failure came from the constantly being told I was going to fail , so my mindset became why try , I'm a screw-up ! Paralyzed is how I spent most of my young life . Then I discovered Alcohol and now I don't have to be afraid anymore . Alcohol mixed with pills was my new me , and no one was gonna make me afraid anymore , I can do anything and not worry about failure because my homemade medicine helped me not give a crap . As time went on living this way I became weighed down with guilt , regret , resentment and disgust . Who the hell am I and what have I become . I could go on for hours trying to describe my own personal private hell ! In my dungeon of despair way back in the corner I noticed a shadow as I moved closer to it , I noticed a set of steps and at the top of the steps the sun is shining . Now all I have to do is silence all the negative voices in my head and lift my leg and take that first step. As I began to use those steps I discovered that my chains began to fall off ! By Gods grace and those Steps I am free , unafraid , living my life to the max !

JAMES 3 ; 8 - But the tongue can no man tame; [it is] an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.
By Joseph Dickerson

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