Tuesday, August 29, 2017

“To know one’s own limitations is the hallmark of competence.”
-Dorothy L. Sayers  

“Everybody’s got a different circle of competence.  The important thing is not how big the circle is.  The important thing is staying inside the circle.”  -Warren Buffet

“We must believe in ourselves or no one will believe in us; we must match our aspirations with the competence, courage and determination to succeed.”  -Rosalyn Yalow
Reflecting on Statement #12, it is enlightening to uncover this journey of competence in my New Life.  What I have observed is every single day sober is a demonstration of competence; by not doing this one thing every day I open the door to competence and accomplishment.  

Alcohol removed the ability to recognize and feel competence.  So often setting a time or setting limits with alcohol were quickly abandoned, which in turn severed any feelings of competence or ability.  Compounding these feelings of failure daily resulted in overwhelming feelings of self-doubt.  I no longer felt capable of doing anything.  Even the smallest of tasks seemed insurmountable.        

Statement #12 encourages each woman to continually build frameworks of ability and awareness.  This started my first day sober and continues into this current moment.  With each new day, I began erasing feelings of failure and applying a fresh coat of competence.  Compounding these feelings from the practice of Statement #12 results in the ability to understand and grow competence, while instilling awareness that I can ask for help at any time.

Hugzzz, Karen 
Hi 4C Women,

Many women find it challenging to introduce themselves as a competent woman when first attending WFS meetings.  I initially felt that way.  However, I also began to understand that the more I said it, the more I began believing it.  I had this strong need to prove that underneath all of my fears that I could change those old negative messages of who I “thought” I was.  The more I practiced taking risks, trusting that I would survive, learning and growing into a competent woman, the more comfortable I began to feel in trusting my choices.  Fear and trust – overcoming and becoming.

I would encourage you to take a risk or two and examine the outcome with an open mind.  Perhaps it didn’t work out as you had hoped yet there is much to learn from trying.  That is how I feel competence begins to grow.  You try, you learn, make more informed choices next time and, mostly, appreciate and acknowledge the strong effort you made in becoming that competent woman.  It’s that trial and error method that informs us and builds a strong foundation of courage, insight and believing in your own personal strengths.

  • What are you willing to risk to gain this knowledge and belief in yourself?
  • What did you learn from your previous decision?
  • How will you use that information to build your competency?
  • Do you recognize the strength in seeking help and actually reach out for it?
  • Do you acknowledge your victories in gaining competency?

We need to be our own best cheerleaders for this is how we build that positive definition of who we are and are becoming – 4C women indeed!

-WFS Member
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