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I am very thankful and blessed this holiday season to be sharing it with my son as he continues his journey in recovery. He has been in recovery for three and a half years now and each year he is improving and continuing to choose a sober life. I am proud of the man and the father he has become. I am also proud of the mother I have become.
This has been a gut-wrenching, agonizing journey for 12 years. In the beginning, I would not have believed I would be writing about my son’s recovery and how the holiday season is more joyful now than ever. We are grateful for recovery.
In our journey with addiction, I initially thought if I loved my son enough, and if he loved our family enough, he could change his ways. It took a lot of education and time for all of us to learn and understand that he has a disease and that he needed a lot of help to learn to manage his disease. I had to learn that it was out of my control and it would be up to him to do whatever it took to live a life in recovery.
The only control I had was to allow him to live his life whether he continued to use drugs or not. I loved him unconditionally, but had to set boundaries for myself and our family. It was hard! It took a lot of practice and patience and faith that God would help him find his way. We all made mistakes along the way, but always did our best to learn from them.
Our son tried several options for professional treatment. Some court-ordered, some voluntary. He tried in-patient treatment, NA groups, medically assisted outpatient treatment, and sponsors. The last treatment prior to his sustained recovery was six months of inpatient treatment and then six months at a sober living home with intensive outpatient treatment. I feel that each treatment session taught him something, gave him tools, helped him get stronger, helped him with self-esteem and helped him to gain confidence in his ability to manage his disease.
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