Wednesday, March 28, 2018

“When we argue for our limitations, we get to keep them.” ~~Evelyn Waugh

 “Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings and emotions, goals and values are in balance.”  ~~ Brian Tracy

“With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.”  ~~Eleanor Roosevelt
Statement #13
 “I am responsible for myself and for my actions."
I am in charge of my mind, my thoughts and my life.

In the past it was easy to fight for perceived limitations, it was predictable and comfortable while responsibility felt overwhelming and filled with uncertainty.  Alcohol accelerated negative self-talk and created a dangerous scaffold of knee jerk excuses and blame.  Over time isolation became the norm, relationships became emotionally painful, and living became almost too much to bear.

Sobriety and Statement #13 in action provide a course for continuing recovery and feelings of contentment.  Our founder, Jean Kirkpatrick, PhD, put Statement #13 into action even before writing the WFS New Life Program.  With the acceptance and realization of what she was doing was not working, Jean devised a plan that would.  Examining her thoughts, Jean identified and organized her thinking.  Letting go of limitations and discovering and encouraging her strengths; Women for Sobriety was born.

In practicing Statement #13, it is possible to experience trust, release blame and respond with ever increasing ability.  In our Program Booklet on page 34, “Through the New Life Program, we learn we are competent women, trusting our ability to make decisions.  It teaches us how to be in charge of our minds, our thoughts and our lives." 

Do you have a blame or excuses tape that runs through your mind?  How you do interrupt and eliminate any self-defeating tape?  
What does responsibility feel like before and after your New Life?

Hi 4C Women,
I started laughing out loud when Karen asked if we have a blame or excuses tape that runs through our mind. Years ago, it would have taken an oversized truck to haul those blame/excuses tapes out to examine. While there are life situations that can stop us in our tracks and tackle years of hard personal growth work, in the end we are responsible for our reactions and responses by taking these situations and making them life lessons for change and retrospection. I guess you could say it is learning from our mistakes and making healthier choices. For me, that is what Statement 13 represents when it says that I am responsible for myself and for my actions. Sober, I can no longer blame others for my actions/reactions. I have to say it was easier to blame others in the past. It was a habit I had developed and it took a lot of going through, not around, my choices/thoughts to take charge of my life. I was terrified when I went through my divorce and without having a choice to ignore it, I actually began to feel more and more empowered as I decided what I needed and how I had to stand on my own. Not everything went the way I had thought it would, yet I was no longer feeling defeated, punished or the victim. This process took time, lots of it, yet I knew I was in a much better place and moving in the right direction by making my own decisions, learning to trust myself and feeling hopeful!  

Nancy Cross, a dear friend of WFS who passed away, once wrote in a message that we need to understand the difference between controlling and being in control. When you find yourself wanting to control others, ask yourself what do you want and then how can you get it? By focusing on how you can get what you want, rather than on how others can give it to you, you assume a much more active role in determining what you get from life. This represents the blame/victim mode to me. While blaming and being the victim, I tried to get others to help me and not in a positive way. I believe in compassion and supporting those who need our encouragement. I am talking about manipulating others so I didn't have to do the work of Statement 13. It took time to fully understand and practice this Statement and I will tell you, I am grateful that I kept on trying even in the darkest of times. Thank you WFS for the guidance of the Statements and especially #13. 

4C WFS Member
Don't miss this workshop at the
June 8-10 in Center Valley, PA
Conf 2018
The Past is Gone Forever
The only real time we have is “NOW”. Often we bring the past to the present. Together we will explore ways of tending to our visitations of the past that can move us in the direction of healing. With compassionate honest communication, giving attention to the tenderness of our heart can heal a multitude of self-negating patterns.
.O – .O was certified in 1979 as a massage therapist and has made health and well-being her personal commitment and life's purpose. She is a group facilitator with many years of experience in body wisdom, stress modification, and the healing powers of love. Her new passion is participating in theater, promoting social change, and addressing issues involving domestic violence, alcoholism, drug abuse, economic injustice, and environmental justice. .O has provided presentations and workshops for various organizations and has appeared on radio and TV talk shows.
This workshop is an optional Friday afternoon add-on; a small additional fee applies.
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