Wednesday, January 15, 2020

Monday Thoughts January 13, 2020

“You are made to thrive.”  ~~Karlee Fain
 “My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor and some style.”  ~~Maya Angelou
 “Independence is happiness.”  ~~Susan B. Anthony
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#3 Happiness is a habit I am developing.
Happiness is created, not waited for.
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What does it feel like to thrive in your New Life?  To grow, to shine, to flourish?  For many women, it is a feeling of freedom that flows through a portal of sobriety and recovery.   In our WFS Program booklet, Jean writes, “Happiness never came to me until I learned the secret of making it for myself, of finding an inner glow that somehow made all other things right.” 
Alcohol or drugs numb life out and prevent meaningful connection but that is behind us today. Practicing Statement #3 encourages self-reflection which in turn encourages actions towards creating our own happiness without a reliance on what others say or do.  This opens an avenue to create depth and meaning.
Just like the above quote from one of our positive and energetic keynote speakers from our WFS Conference, Karlee Fain: Make yourself thrive.  This week, challenge yourself to thrive each day.  It doesn’t have to be anything dramatic, just small, simple actions.  You are creating your happiness, your best self, your contentment.  Send a Statement #3 tool that work for you to karen@teamwfs.org for future use in our Monday Thoughts.
Statement #3 Tool: Identifying and employing boundaries.  Knowing what belongs to me and what does not aides in the ability to thrive.  For example, in a past, conflicted relationship, I shared exactly what I needed in order to move forward.  Essentially, this put the ball in their court.  To date, these needs have not been met, yet I feel content and at ease.  I stood up for myself and my needs and am no longer exposed to emotional abuse. 
Hugzzz
Karen
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Hi 4C Women,
Happiness is that I survived a tornado warning and severe storms on Saturday.  It was pretty scary so I distracted myself by gathering all that I would need if a tornado struck – medicines, important papers, DVDs of the family and friends over the years and a tote to carry those important beauty products (have to look good if I need to be rescued), a bunch of flashlights and made sure my cell phone was completely charged. 
I have a few books and writings from seminars on finding joy, happiness and being happy.  My intent was to go through them and find some words of wisdom while I gained my equilibrium from the unnerving storms.  I must admit I was a bit too anxious to focus.  However, the storm is over and I am excited to share some of the uplifting material I found. 
One book, Field Guide to Happiness by Barbara Ann Kipfer, talks a lot about lists which I tend to do to keep me on track.  Here are 2 suggestions:
List of things you are happy about in your home environment.  This is all about appreciating the comforts we take for granted, your personal decor, conveniences that didn’t exist 50 or even 10 years ago. This really spoke to me. I feel joy as I walk around my house looking at photos or ceramic knickknacks that use to be my mom’s before she passed away.  It helps me to reflect on the joy and love we shared as I matured into later adulthood rather than the struggles we had in my teen and young adult years.  I also decorate for each season and as I unpack each item, I feel a big smile cross my face. As for personal conveniences, who could leave out the computer or cell phone that makes it easier to reach out and find information. I grew up with party lines that whoever was part of it, could listen in on your calls and ask you to get off the phone!  I even enjoy the convenience of my dvr so I can watch any show when I feel like it and bypass all those commercials.  The advances in technology are too many to list. I am joyful that I don’t have to wash all my dishes by hand, clothes dryer as I grew up hanging laundry outdoors to dry and although they smelled fresh, it was a huge chore to bring them up from the basement and hope it remained a sunny day.  In fact, my mom would hang laundry up in the basement with a clothesline my dad put up for the winter months, and my favorite – the microwave!  What would be on your list? 
Happiness Moments/Situations.  This list reminds us to be grateful, reflecting on people who made a positive difference/impact in our lives. This is one of my favorites as there were several people in my life (teachers, family friends, relatives, bosses) that made a difference, who took time and effort to encourage me, build me up.  Who would be on that list for you? 
Finding Joy by Charlotte Davis Kasl, Ph.D., wrote,  “Joy may appear to come suddenly but in reality, we prepare for joy every time we speak our truths, care for ourselves, expand our knowledge, nurture our friendships, let people love us, take on new adventures, and go where our hearts lead us.“  I thought about all the happy moments we can create that are not major events but those small moments of connecting with others, being spontaneous, taking risks, playing with abandonment and knowing that joy brings hope and hope brings joy. 
Bonded in learning ways to create happiness in your life, Dee






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