Hi 4C Women,
Years ago, I cared more about what others thought of me and very little about how I viewed myself. Perhaps that's because I thought I was so unlovable that seeing myself as anything else seemed impossible. Drinking helped me to ignore the work I needed to do - as the saying goes, healing is an inside job. Once I started the process of healing, I not only learned to love myself but to also accept and believe that I was lovable. I was so fearful of rejection that I was the biggest rejector of them all! This is how I learned that love is probably the most powerful, life-changing feeling that can break down the highest wall that we think is protecting us. It is doing just the opposite. It is keeping us from experiencing the most wonderful part of any "healthy" relationship. Yes, healthy. It is an important factor in caring for ourselves and for others. My love relationship with myself was not a healthy one but a judgmental one. Authentic love brings forgiveness, peace and joy to ourselves and to those we trust and care for in our new lives.
What do you love about yourself? This is a time to abandon the idea that complimenting or praising your positive qualities/characteristics is conceited. That is an outdated sentiment, one I grew up with but realize is detrimental to self-love.
What do you value about yourself?
What are you holding onto that isn't serving you anymore? Old resentments, regrets, people pleasing, saying yes when you mean no.
What do you need to be more at peace with yourself? Maybe it's setting healthier boundaries or making changes to your self-care.
All of these questions deal with self-love and from that comes the ability to genuinely care about yourself and others.
Bonded in knowing that love can change the course of our world and practicing the importance of caring for ourselves and others, a 4C Sister
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