Recovery Connections Network

Tuesday, November 28, 2017

WFS Monday Thoughts

“When a new day begins, dare to smile gratefully. When there is darkness, dare to be the first to shine a light. When there is injustice, dare to be the first to condemn it. When something seems difficult, dare to do it anyway. When life seems to beat you down, dare to fight back.

When there seems to be no hope, dare to find some. When you’re feeling tired, dare to keep going. When times are tough, dare to be together. When love hurts you, dare to love again. When someone is hurting, dare to help them heal. When another is lost, dare to help them find the way.

When a friend falls, dare to be the first to extend a hand. When you cross paths with another, dare to make them smile. When you feel great, dare to help someone else feel great. When the day has ended, dare to feel as you’ve done your best. Dare to be the best you can.

At all times, Dare to be!”

~~Steve Maraboli Life, the Truth, and Being Free

Running into resistance has enabled me to put action into Statement #8. It does feel counterintuitive to move towards discomfort, after all I tried to use alcohol as an escape, but moving towards insecurities and fears continues to foster growth and produce feelings of contentment.

Under the influence, emotional nor spiritual growth was possible. Unable to experience life clearly, I developed rigid and uncompromising thinking. Quick to judge and oftentimes on the offense, I fought against life instead of embracing it. This is a painful way to live.

With sobriety and Statement #8 in action, I dare to grow. Moving into moments of uncertainty provides a pathway to cultivate new experiences, feelings and abilities and growth takes shape. Life takes on fresh perspective, harshness evolves into flexibility and daring to embrace life becomes top priority.

Hugzzz and gratitude,

Karen

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Hi 4C Women,

I am so deeply grateful for Karen's message as it helped me to remember how much change in thinking, responding and acknowledging my feelings this Statement created and continues to do so after so many years. I use to believe that stopping drinking was the complete solution to changing my life's direction. Statement #8 certainly confirmed my error in thinking.

I recently watched an Iyanla show regarding men who had served time in prison and how they lived their lives based on a broken foundation. It was enlightening as I reflected on my childhood and understood how I functioned in young adulthood with living as though I was defined and trapped by my childhood/teen feelings of rejection and abandonment. When she stated that as an adult, we have the choice to be the kind of person we want to be, this is the lesson I learned from Statement #8 and Statement #9 (The past is gone forever, no longer will I be victimized by the past). To continue to live with the feelings of rejection and abandonment does not serve any purpose as an adult. It hurts adult relationships that you are trying to build or heal. When she said that you don’t need a parent to become the adult you wish to become, I realized that is and was the biggest change I made in my emotional growth. Why did I hold onto all those negative "false" definitions of me, especially after my father passed away? Those false definitions kept me broken, empty and angry. It clouded my ability to choose healthy relationships because I believed I was unlovable and unworthy. That knowledge helped create the adult person I wanted, chose to be. I chose to not reject, abandon or deny myself but to accept myself as a loving, worthy, deserving woman.

We choose how to be in a relationship, one that honors who we are TODAY. It is not defined by the perhaps broken person we were but the one who is a 4C (capable, competent, caring and compassionate) woman. It is our choice.

How do you define yourself today?
Are you able to sit in the pain of discomfort and learn from it? If yes, what life lesson have you learned? If no, what is the stumbling block to working through these difficult feelings?
What emotional changes have you chosen to make that honor you?

4C WFS Member

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