Wednesday, November 1, 2017

“It’s time. All of this pretending and performing—these coping mechanisms that you’ve developed to protect yourself from feeling inadequate and getting hurt—has to go. Your armor is preventing you from growing into your gifts. I understand that you needed these protections when you were small. I understand that you believed your armor could help you secure all the things you needed to feel worthy and lovable, but you’re still searching and you’re more lost than ever. Time is growing short. There are unexplored adventures ahead of you. You can’t live the rest of your life worried about what other people think. You were born worthy of love and belonging. Courage and daring are coursing through you. You were made to live and love with your whole heart. It’s time to show up and be seen.” ~~Brene´ Brown

      Hiding behind inadequacy felt comfortable before WFS and New Life. It was easy to run away from life’s moments, using feelings of lack for an excuse. Fearing success, worrying thoughts of “what would others expect next” circulated through my mind.  This line of thinking obstructed action, which only increased feelings of incompetence and I turned to alcohol for relief.  Over time, this increased feeling worthless and shook my belief system.

The trio of sobriety, recovery and Statement #12 in action, enable a building and strengthening of ability. This growing competence shelters and guards my core, increasing feelings of worth and fulfillment. Statement #12 affirms value and confirms worth simply by being read and simply doing my best. In early sobriety, I read these empowering words out-loud for added benefit.

Today, this framework of competence supports and enhances New Life. From decision making to treading outside comfort zones, Statement #12 in action feels encouraging, motivating and self-enhancing. Turning towards challenges, fear of success loses its grip and competency takes hold. Capable, competent, caring and compassionate? Absolutely!!!!

Hi 4C Women,
It took a long time to realize that I am a competent woman. There was little trust in my being able to handle any challenge, big or small. Having been on my own for many years now, I have learned a few things about myself when it comes to competency. I know I love to get things done. I still procrastinate over spending but organizing and gathering information has become my way of feeling competent. I may at times question my decisions yet I feel so accomplished when I make them. The fear of making a mistake has lessened because if I do, I truly do my best to see it as a lesson, not a tragedy.  
My thoughts turn to how much do I give to life. 

  Am I in the moment? 
  Am I giving to myself as I give to others?  
  Am I living in integrity, being authentic?

Questions from the WFS New Life Diary for Statement #12:
  What I can do:
  What I'd like to do:
  Why I'm not doing it:

I believe these questions are about acknowledging our accomplishments, our gifts and talents, our relationship with ourselves and others. It also raises the question of our dreams, our desires and why we're not doing them. Is it because we might fail or not making time for ourselves. Having much to give life needs to include ourselves. Loving and giving to ourselves is one of the most important aspects of Statement #12. Remember, we are the authors of our own lives. 

4C WFS Member 
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