Truly sitting with myself is not always easy, especially in recovery. For so long, I looked to escape from myself. To disconnect from myself. I did not like the person I was and thus, the last thing I ever wanted to do was be alone and in my own company. It felt like hell. In recovery, I have to sit with anger, with frustration, with sadness, and with feeling in general! To go from years of never truly feeling or being with myself because I always had my addictions to engage in, to sitting with myself has been a major adjustment. But an adjustment I could not be more thankful for and one that has skyrocketed me into living the life I was put here to live.
By sitting with myself I am getting to know myself. Getting to understand the inner workings of my mind a little more. My ego a little more. I can now discern between when my heart is talking and when my mind is talking. This is something I was never able to do and it is because I have learned to be patient with myself. Learned that thoughts come and go into the mind and I don’t have to always listen to them. Triggers happen and I don’t have to self-sabotage because of them. I can challenge them in a whole new capacity. So, as hard as it is to sit with myself, this is where the true healing and growth takes place for me. In the end, all we have is ourselves and this is where the foundation of recovery is really started.
What do you do when you are alone with yourself? How do you stay in recovery?
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