Tuesday, June 26, 2018

“I say if I’m beautiful.  I say if I’m strong.  You will not determine my story; I will.”  ~~Amy Schumer

“I am in charge.  I take my own power back.”  ~~Louise Hay

“A woman with a voice is, by definition, a strong woman.”   ~~Melinda Gates
Statement #13
I am responsible for myself and for my actions.
I am in charge of my mind, my thoughts, and my life.
Sobriety and Statement #13 in action set the path for the continuation of New Life.  Jean created the WFS New Life Program to be woven as a fabric into the lives of the women who practice it. With this practice, a shift in thinking can occur.  In our Program booklet on page 34, “Often our thoughts are formed by past experiences, actions, and attitudes inherited from family and society.  By understanding our thoughts, we can accept responsibility for our actions.  We recognize we have options and choices.” 

There is a distinct freedom that comes from recognizing options and choices.  Early on in my own journey, this was difficult to see since the focus was simply on staying sober.  Yet with the practice of the WFS Statements, especially Statement #13, a revolution of thoughts occurred and the illusion of powerlessness shifted into choice and options.  Feelings of inability were released and with each decision, the long-held fears about responsibility vanished.

It seemed as if a whole new world opened up.  Feelings of empowerment began to flow in, slowly at first then as if by magic, this new sense of self actually felt the words: Capable, Competent, Caring and Compassionate.  This concept felt sturdy, and thoughts of responsibility were no longer fearful.  Embracing confidence, self-esteem and self-worth create the cornerstones of an empowering New Life. 

Hi 4C Women,
Whenever I am faced with a decision and I feel inadequate, indecisive or fearful, I say this statement out loud and it truly makes a difference. This statement stops the negative thoughts right in their tracks. I am an empowered woman and to me that means that while I may struggle with a decision or choice, I know it is mine to make and even if I choose incorrectly, so what! I will survive, I will seek support from my 4C sisters and I will learn. 
 I saw this article online by Brad McDonald of Sandler Training on taking charge of life, one decision at a time. These are his ideas:

  • Increase in self-esteem. Whether you are right or wrong, you’ll feel better just by taking ownership in a decision.
  • Development of decision tree mentality. You learn that decision-making is a process, not a single event. You make a decision, evaluate, and then make the next decision.
  • Breaking of paralysis and inhibitions. Procrastination results in no changes, status quo, and paralysis. Making decisions leads to action and moves you forward.
  • You own yourself. When you make a decision, you own more of yourself; you are taking charge of your life. Also, you will learn that there are few bad decisions.

Let’s analyze decision making and discuss the process of making the best and most effective decisions. Here are some things to consider:

  • Understand the BIG PICTURE.  Be very clear about what it is you want to accomplish in the long run, but don’t go at it with tunnel vision.
  • Set goals and recognize the need to risk. If you have written goals, you are part of your own plan. Otherwise, you are part of somebody else’s plan – your choice.
  • Develop a Plan; Evaluate the Risks; Let it sink in. If you set goals and take some risk, you will experience some fear. Own the fears but don’t cave in to them. Rather, ask yourself if the risk is acceptable using the worst case scenario; if not, this is the time to turn back. Otherwise, move ahead and commit totally.
  • Act Decisively. If you have worked the process out correctly – ACT. GO; MOVE: GET THE JOB DONE. This is the true key to motivation: Get moving, get the momentum and you gain power. Too many people sit around waiting to be motivated – as if some chemical reaction will take place and get them magically started. The only thing that can motivate you is you.
  • Have the courage to fail. You will probably fail in some part of your plan. Don’t blame others. If you really own your decisions; you’ll own the successes and failures that they bring.

In looking over his thoughts on decision-making, one thing really stood out for me and that was "motivation." I have been inspired by many 4C women, yet motivation has been the hurdle I have and continue to struggle with at times. In reflecting on Statement #13, it is so clear to me that motivation is my responsibility. Motivation is my follow-through for the gift of inspiration that I've been handed. The question is how do I create the habit of self -motivation? If I am to act, go, move, get the job done, what is blocking me from doing so? How would you answer these questions?  

Bonded in being in charge of our lives,
4C WFS Member
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