March 25 CHP 38 v 8 TWELVE STEPPING WITH STRENGTH FROM THE PSALMS

I am feeble and severely broken; I groan because of the turmoil of my heart . (GODS BIG BOOK)

STEP 4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

Feeble-lacking physical strength, especially as a result of age or illness.

Turmoil- a state of great disturbance, confusion, or uncertainty.synonyms: confusion , upheaval, turbulence,tumult,disorder,disturbance,agitation,ferment,unrest,disquiet,trouble,disruption,chaos,

mayhem,uncertainty

The human heart is designed to only carry a certain amount of pain before it gets to this point and the result can be severe brokenness and physical sickness. When we try to handle that much pain on our own we become overwhelmed exhausted and feeble . The Steps were designed to be worked with another person.That other person must have a proven track record of properly handling other peoples dirty laundry. When I worked four I could not believe the amount of pain I was truly in. When the painful memories surfaced along with the guilt and shame , I discovered once the pain was exposed it began to lose its effect on me mentally and physically. It was hard to deal with the stuff coming out but at the same time it was liberating in a way that is hard to explain. Twenty two years I spent trying to self medicate and convince myself I was ok and the world was messed up.Looking back now that way of thinking could have killed me prematurely. Today when I go by a graveyard ,I wonder how many of those folks stayed trapped in the lie of self and were buried with their pain and were robbed of all the good there is in life.How many of those folks settled for whatever came along and lived way below there God given potential . 

John 14:26-27 But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. (GODS BIG BOOK)By Joseph Dickerson