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Great article, Juliet! And I'm sorry about what happened to you. I was raped in fairly early sobriety by a boyfriend and, because we were living together, didn't even see it as such until years later. But I WAS blamed by a woman in the program for being raped before when I was drunk. Anyway, I'm glad you're doing better. I am going to write down those 5 questions. I think they could be helpful to anyone. One thing they say in AA is to never say no to an AA request. Of course, that is ridiculous and just sets us up to be taken advantage of and abused. It also seems that people in AA are entertained by the thought of us being "bad." In turn, in order to please them, this causes many of us to actually boast about our bad behavior. If we do this enough and keep getting approval for it, we may come to actually feel proud of it and find it harder to let go. I also remember that at the bigger meetings especially, they would only ask well-known, dynamic speakers to speak. It seemed more about entertainment than sharing.