Tuesday, May 12, 2015


 When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered,
 I was senseless and ignorant;

I was a brute and did not understand I was a beast before you.


STEP 6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

I wish I had found this verse twenty years ago ! Fear , insecurity , and being ignorant to my pain kept me trapped in my self medicating ways far longer than I needed to be . Society kept trying to tell me I had some sort of mental problem and the doctors kept trying to convince me I inherited my self medicating ways from previous family generations. For a very long time I believed all of it and though at times I had glimmers of hope and sobriety , I was still broken , angry , ignorant , and hurt. Accepting the labels that society and doctors placed on me only took away my sense of worth and if I had this horrible disease and mental problems what was the point of getting better. If this verse had been read to me years ago, I probably would not have understood just like it states. Beast is a good way to explain my years in active addiction ! Picture one they are mindless and senseless like robots , they just do according too nature , they run wild with that kill or be killed mentality , you cant even get close and if you do and are spotted you will be torn to shreds. Many people in my life stayed senseless and addicted until their bitter end.Gone too soon taking with them unseen gifts and talents buried in pain deep in their hearts. Society and doctors can tell me over and over their theories all they want but as far as I am concerned and from many years of personal painful experience , ADDICTION IS THE BY PRODUCT OF A BROKEN HEART .If you study the steps and GODS BIG BOOK carefully you will discover the keys too removing the labels eliminating the pain and living life in a freedom you never thought possible. Fix the Heart and the Head will Follow !

Proverb 4;23 - Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.
(GODS BIG BOOK) By Joseph Dickerson

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