Recovery Connections Network

Tuesday, August 21, 2018

“We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells constellations.” ~~Anaïs Nin

“For behind all seen things lies something vaster; everything is but a path, a portal, or window opening on something more than itself.” ~~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” ~~Anaïs Nin

Statement #8:

The fundamental object of life is emotional and spiritual growth.

Daily I put my life into a proper order, knowing which are the priorities.

Early sobriety can feel like a past feeling from youth of wanting to be older, wiser, more adult or grown up. Adulthood seemed so fancy, with immense schedules and deep conversations through childhood eyes; thoughts of the grass is always greener…. except it isn’t greener, it’s just different. With WFS, sobriety, and the practice of Statement #8, the grass can be greener with growth.

Unknowingly, alcohol prevented growth. Emotionally stuck, life was experienced through a filtered lens. Unable to see or feel clearly, life felt overwhelming and filled with fear and pain. Feelings of dread and of “what’s the point” were common emotions. WFS provides the tools to clear that foggy lens and bring about balance and growth. Connecting with sober women near and far, whether on the WFS Online Forum or in a face to face group, the warmth from feeling a part of a courageous community continues to inspire growth and development.

Statement #8 with its simplicity, encourages new avenues to be explored. Instead of rigid rules or paths to be taken, growth can occur by embracing priorities. The practice and understanding of this Statement can ease fears of purpose, opening a portal for mindfulness and spirituality to flourish.

How do you incorporate Statement #8 into your daily life?

Hugzzz

Karen

Hi 4C Women,

Setting priorities has a lot to do with core values as defined by Cookie Tuminello.

"Core values are the foundation that creates more of what you do want and less of what you don't want in your life. They must be present in your daily actions if you want to be truly at peace with yourself. Core values are who you are right now, not who you think you should be, can be or might be. They define who you are on the "inside" - your core. These values help you define what matters most to you in your life and they are the basis for making better choices for taking better care of yourself."

I think that as we all work towards emotional and spiritual growth, start achieving it, our core values become clear to us and we can continue to make decisions that authentically reflect our core values/priorities.

I was watching an episode of Iyanla, Fix My Life on OWN (Oprah Network). It was about a mother-daughter relationship in need of major healing. When Iyanla said that unhealed people create unhealed situations, I thought of how I struggles with putting my priorities in a proper order when I so wounded. Drinking certaining didn't help the healing process. It numbed, stopped and harmed any necessary healing I needed in order to grow my emotional and spiritual life. Her question was to figure out what you need help with, because if you don't ask for what you need, the need gets bigger.

I realize I drank because I had unmet needs that I had no idea of how to meet or could even identify them at that time. Over the years, I have also learned that as I identify my needs and meet them, other needs start to appear. WFS has taught me that there is always room for emotional and spiritual growth to take place as life presents new challenges. Knowing that lessens my fear and cuts short the negative self-talk that I "should" be able to handle any situation after all this time.

In order to determine if you are using your valuable time and energy that includes your core values, make a list of what matters most to you. Remember, be completely honest with what you value and not what you believe you "should" value. As you reflect on this list, consider if you are prioritizing your life incorporating these values by the choices and decisions you are making. Most importantly, this list is to create awareness, not guilt. Make changes, if necessary, in how you spend your time and energy once you know what your core values are.

Bonded in discovering and living our core values,

4C WFS Member