Tuesday, May 29, 2018

“I had been so focused on what to discard, on attacking the unwanted obstacles around me, that I had forgotten to cherish the things that I loved, the things I wanted to keep.”  ~~Marie Kondo

 “Leave who you were.  Love who you are.  Look forward to who you will become.” ~~unknown

“By taking the time to stop and appreciate who you are and what you’ve achieved—and perhaps learned through a few mistakes, stumbles and losses—you actually can enhance everything about you.  Self-acknowledgment and appreciation are what give you the insights and awareness to move forward toward higher goals and accomplishments.”  ~~Jack Canfield

Statement #9
 “The past is gone forever."

No longer am I victimized by the past.
I am a new woman.
The bright, pink juice of the ripe watermelon being sliced was dripping onto the counter and creating a sticky mess.  As the nearby bowl filled up with the sweet tasty pieces of fruit, my mind was flooded with emotions from the past.  Feelings of satisfaction and well-being induced a smile, while my present thoughts dove deeper into the past.  Was this a new aspect of Statement #9 coming to light?

Sobriety and Statement #9 in action enable the release of painful emotions and feelings, yet it can also encourage feelings of contentment and appreciation.  Before handing out a slice of watermelon to any child, my mother would fold a paper towel into thirds, wrap them around each wrist and secure them with tape.  It was only then we could enjoy a juicy slice of watermelon.  These “watermelon sleeves” prevented sticky arms, legs and of course, furniture and became a family tradition.

Our founder, Jean Kirkpatrick, Ph.D. knew how important it was to release the past and remain present. Statement #9 provides a path for letting go, yet this healing Statement can also be utilized to cherish and not cling to those past moments which have contributed to our being. Feelings of appreciation can enter, encouraging gratitude and contentment. From a simple slice of watermelon to sobriety and New Life, life is sweet!

Hi 4C Women,

I love all the quotes and how Karen reminded us that there are parts of the past we need to keep. Statement #9 is about healing from the painful past and moving forward, not victimizing ourselves with living in the pain. It reminded me of my 27-year marriage that ended in divorce. I know the negative outweighed the positive, hence the divorce, but that is the key point - there were positives along the way. Not that I don't go back to the pain every now and then, but I don't live in the pain and I don't let it hold me hostage as it did in the past. Resentment grows from holding onto the painful past. It closes off the paths to healing, to forgiveness and to a New Life. Letting go doesn't mean the hurt wasn't real. It means we will not be imprisoned to a past we cannot change. I think it is the purest form of freedom and forgiveness. 

 In reflecting on the past, are you bound to the residual feelings of "should have", "what if", "why me" and mostly "regret"? Here's a different way to look at the past. Accept that you made mistakes, learn from it so you set healthier boundaries, forgive yourself, practice self-compassion, trust yourself and build trust with others and have a plan that supports your choices to not repeat unhealthy patterns. This will empower you to continue moving forward because you can't do otherwise if you keep looking in the rear view mirror with fear and judgment. You are a new woman! 
Bonded in letting go,

4C WFS Member

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