Tuesday, June 23, 2015

 Women for Sobriety, Inc.
"Daily, I am a new woman!"

҉ 

“The more you know yourself, the more patience you have for what you see in others.”
–Erik Erikson

“The one self-knowledge worth having is to know one’s own mind.” –F. H. Bradley

“Who looks outside, dreams.  Who looks inside, awakes.” –Carl Jung

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom. -Aristotle

**********************************************************
Statement #5, “I am what I think.”
I am a capable, competent, caring, compassionate woman.
**********************************************************

+++++++++++++++++++
Karen’s Perspective +
+++++++++++++++++++
     Do I know myself?  I can honestly say that I know myself better today than ever before.  I accredit this directly to sobriety and our WFS Program.
     Before my New Life, healthy thinking and self-awareness was almost non-existent.  I bounced off of one experience to another without ever considering how I got there or at my involvement. My thoughts and behavior were also quite critical.  I blasted others and, then, in turn blasted myself.  Blame was a regular part of my life; but, I was unable to recognize this fact.
     Statement #5 in action, and the center of the WFS “New Life” Program, continues to enlighten my mind and my life.  I am continually learning about myself and identifying and connecting to my inner thoughts.  With this growing ability, I am able to direct my life in healthy and empowering ways.  Daily I am a new woman!
     It was not an easy task to begin to understand and embrace my thoughts.  Early in my sobriety, my mind felt flooded with incessant talking and non-stop judgments.  Often I surprised myself with deep criticisms and negativity; however, I also found a loving, supportive side which I continue to encourage and grow with.
     Every day I am a new woman and learn to know myself a little bit more.  I am utilizing life-changing tools and developing in self-awareness as I continue on this journey of discovery.  Life is incredible, giving and filled with beauty and love!
     Through self-awareness and mind development, I embrace my beautiful New Life!Hugzzz, Karen

+++++++++++++++
+  Dee’s Insights  +
+++++++++++++++
     Hi 4C Women, For those who have known me over the years, you know that I was into the “Blame” game for a very long time.  It was this blame game that got me into therapy.  If I could just understand why other people made my life so miserable, I could explain it more clearly to them; they would see the error of their ways and change to make me feel better and, of course, release me of any responsibility for my life.  Thank goodness my therapist and the WFS Program guided me in the right direction.
     Learning to take responsibility for my actions and finally learning to love myself was a gigantic step for me.  I realized that my hatred of myself was at the root of my unhappiness.  Not to say that the treatment from others didn’t have an impact; however, it was my choice to stay or leave those relationships.  I didn’t love myself enough to realize I had the choice and the right to be treated as I deserved and to set boundaries.
     It is a work in progress as I continue to work on setting or re-setting boundaries.  As people in my life change, so do the boundaries.  Becoming a 4C woman turned my life around.  I learned why I accepted certain behaviors from others and that was a tremendous insight into so many aspects of my thinking and own behavior.  I finally got it that I could change only myself, no one else and that no matter how much others loved me, if I didn’t love myself, I would always be drawn back into the blame game and stuck in my negative world.
     I am what I think truly changed the course of my world.  No longer did I look in the mirror and say, “You’re stupid, fat and ugly, I hate you!”  The first time I said, “I love you” at my reflection, I looked over my shoulder because I didn’t think those words were coming from me.  I still remember that moment.
  • What do you say to yourself?
  • How do you see yourself when no one else is around?
     Practice positive self-talk - it works!  Most of all, learn to love yourself for this is the core of so many more positive moments and direction in your life.  I know, I lived it and am grateful every day for Statement #5.  –Dee
_________________________
Thank you, Karen and Dee, for your words of encouragement and inspiration to start off our week! ~Becky Fenner, WFS Director
Email:  contact@womenforsobriety.org   *   Tel215-536-8026   *   Fax:  215-538-9026
http://www.womenforsobriety.org   *   http://www.wfscatalog.org
 Women for Sobriety, Inc.
"Our recovery must be centered in now."

҉ 

“For years I had been haunted by my past misdeeds, especially how I hurt my family.  We are able to forgive ourselves, sometimes, because we acted while drugged.  But those we hurt make us ache to change it all, to go back and do everything differently.  We fall into the ‘if only’ frame of mind, and then we are finished.  Our sobriety stands threatened.  Since we cannot change anything, we must give up this foolish exercise.  In order to change ourselves into normal productive drug-free persons, we must recognize futility.  The past is gone forever.  We goofed. But we can change.
     “Not only are we going to put the actions of our past behind us, but we are also putting aside our old patterns of thinking.  There is very little we wish to carry into our new lives from our pasts.  There may be some very good memories, but even these are of relative use to us, but the constant reliving of it or not reliving it is within our control.
     “Our pasts, of course, are never severed from our life's biography, but we should learn that we live in our minds.  Whatever our thoughts are, that is where we live, where we are, where our beings are.  If our thoughts are about the past, then that is where we are.  Living with these thoughts, bringing them forward into our conscious minds over and over, we are bound to play the ‘what if’ game.  And then we are finished.  Too many ‘what ifs’ will endanger our recovery and can lead us back to the old drinking ways.
     “Even though we have trouble with living in the present and feel scared about life and the reality of our responsibilities, we must recognize that these feelings are so much better than the ‘what if’ or the ‘if only’ feelings.  Our recovery must be centered in now.”   -Goodbye Hangovers, Hello Life by Jean Kirkpatrick, Ph.D.

*******************************************************
Statement #9, “The past is gone forever.”
No longer will I be victimized by the past.  I am a new person.
*******************************************************

+++++++++++++++++++
Karen’s Perspective +
+++++++++++++++++++
     Statement #9 is the one Statement that drew me in close to the Women for Sobriety Program. As soon as I read those words, I began to heal and transform my life.  The past was very painful for me and I was unaware that I had been desperately clinging; I had wanted a much different outcome.  Suddenly, with Statement #9, it occurred to me that “that was then and this is now.” My past began to make sense little by little and I started the process of learning how to let go.
     Through Statement #9, I learned that I was not present or living in the moment.  I was missing so much by focusing on painful yesterdays.  I actually did not know how to live in the moment.  I was either gripped with guilt or fretting about the future.  I wallowed in pity and negativity.  I turned to alcohol for relief again and again and again.  I had felt stuck and lifeless.
     Statement #9 continues to be my favorite of all the Statements.  It gave me a launching point to let go.  Understanding that I was holding on, I began to learn how to release the past.  I have let go of so much and have learned how to re-frame my thoughts.  When something from the past reappears today, I have the tools to shift my momentum and embrace the gift of now.  Hugzzz, Karen
  • Do you feel better equipped to live in the past today?
  • If not, what adjustments can you make and what can you release?

+++++++++++++++
+  Dee’s Insights  +
+++++++++++++++
     Hi 4C Women, Statement 9 is also my favorite statement for over 25 years.  I, too, lived in the past because I thought it was much better than my present.  Of course, I learned that the present became my past and I literally let moments of joy slide by without realizing it.  Being in the present moment takes a lot of practice and awareness.  Every once in a while, I am drawn back into the past by a situation or person who pushes my buttons.  Of course, I have also learned that most button pushers created that button and so I make a conscious effort to press stop in my mind before I am dragged back too far.
     In a way, it is a powerful reminder that I have moved very far along and that I am in charge of how I respond and for how long I choose to give it attention.  Years ago, I would be stuck for weeks at a time in the thoughts of regret, pain and unhealthy choices.  I can’t change the past; I learn and heal from it.  Why would I choose to victimize myself for something I can’t change?  I appreciate Statement 9 for helping me, for the most part, move past my regrets, guilt and shame and empowering me to not give free rent in my head to someone who doesn’t deserve it and who is going on their merry way without giving my pain a thought.  Now that is empowering!
     I am human and am not immune from feeling regret.  I have learned not to live there for too long when those feelings arise.  As far as those I have hurt; I let them know I cannot change the past.  I apologize and ask what I can do TODAY to heal the relationship, for that is all I can do.
  • Are you struggling with releasing the past?
  • Do you understand that releasing it gives you space to learn and heal yourself and relationships?
  • That having regrets is human nature and not an invitation to berate yourself endlessly for a past you cannot change?
  • It is an invitation to positive change, personal and emotional growth.  Will you accept the invitation?  –Dee
_________________________
Thank you, Karen and Dee, for your words of encouragement and inspiration to start off our week! ~Becky Fenner, WFS Director
Email:  contact@womenforsobriety.org   *   Tel215-536-8026   *   Fax:  215-538-9026
http://www.womenforsobriety.org   *   http://www.wfscatalog.org

Sunday, June 21, 2015

Parents Get Advice on Talking to Their Teens About Marijuana With New Toolkit - Partnership for Drug-Free Kids

Parents Get Advice on Talking to Their Teens About Marijuana With New Toolkit - Partnership for Drug-Free Kids

Marijuana “Dabbing” Causing Explosions and Severe Burns - Partnership for Drug-Free Kids

Marijuana “Dabbing” Causing Explosions and Severe Burns - Partnership for Drug-Free Kids

Smartphone App to Measure Pain Might Impact Opioid Use: Expert - Partnership for Drug-Free Kids

Smartphone App to Measure Pain Might Impact Opioid Use: Expert - Partnership for Drug-Free Kids
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Best of the week from Choose Help

10 Barriers to Addiction Treatment for Older Adults

10 Barriers to Addiction Treatment for Older Adults
Older adults find it difficult to access good, knowledgeable and age-appropriate treatment programs. Here are ten major reasons why seniors are under served in this area.
It's no secret that we, as a society, are growing older more quickly than at any other time in history. When we look at the lack of treatment facilities and programs available to seniors and the comparative lack of discourse regarding this rapidly growing social concern, it is easy to see how the issues around seniors and addictions have crept in quickly and well under the radar of governments and health authorities. 
Addicted seniors are, apparently, a lesser concern than warranted with much of the service dollars going to womens' and youth issues. With a very narrow focus on the wide-spread problem of seniors being active addicts it is little wonder that senior services and research receive a very small portion of the treatment dollars available.

The Barriers to Age-Appropriate Treatment

It is not just the lack of public or governmental recognition of the problem that is troubling. I have compiled a list of ten barriers to treatment for seniors that are a 'MUST' to consider if we are going to head off a growing problem with huge implications for addicted seniors who are in desperate need of support and services:
(in no particular order of importance)

1. Family Secrets

Many families are more likely than not to keep "dad's drinking problem" an internal family issue than to actually deal with it and get the appropriate support necessary. The rally cry is "we can handle this ourselves." After all, we are a very private bunch who likes to keep those secrets-secret. This is especially true if the family has a professional reputation to protect. 
It is not about embarrassment but rather about judgements and a lack of understanding what is required to provide help but not knowing how to keep it 'quiet'.

2. Family Embarrassment

Then there is the 'embarrassment factor'. This is similar to 'Family Secrets' above, but different in that it happens, not from a lack of understanding, but from having to publicly admit that dad or mom is a drunk or an addict. 
What is similar is that the addict doesn't get the support, encouragement or the acceptance they need to get better. They become disconnected from the family system because of damaged familial egos.
Seniors are less motivated to change their lifestyle. In some cases they welcome the negative attention since ANY attention is better than no attention.

3. Costs

Because of the lack of age-appropriate treatment programs covered by public funding, private clinics and facilities tend to be quite expensive. They can range up to $40,000 per month in some cases (and as little as $3,000 per month in more basic no-frills programs). So funds definitely play a role whether focused treatment is an option or not.

4. Inadequate Physicians Training & Frequent Mis-Diagnosis

Even though there are more physicians learning about addictions and treatment and some are beginning to 'specialize' in the treatment business, there are still too few who are making themselves available for every-day service. Many physicians still don't have the assessment skills to pronounce a client with a prescription drug problem or a drinking problem. Unfortunately there are some, for a variety of reasons, who may not want to. They are seeing the presenting symptoms as early onset of dementia or mental health related problems such as depression or some other chronic illness and then end up prescribing a medication that could exacerbate the substance abuse problem an often doesn't do much to deal with the psychological (and philosophical) aspects of what the presenting symptoms are truly indicating.

5. Bad Physician-Client Communication & Follow Up

Seniors don't have a great deal of credibility in the 'system' when it comes to describing their issues - so they give up trying and just 'go with the flow'. The physicians rarely take the time to actually listen to what they are being told. 
Senior clients often don't know how to speak up and say "hey doc, you missed this..."or "what about that?"
Once they are diagnosed and given a script there is a lack of follow-up visits. "How are you doing?""Has the medication changed the way you...?""Have things gotten better or worse for you?"
Clients need frequent follow up visits to provide some accountability on the clients part and to determine the outcomes of the treatment protocol as well as the efficacy of the meds prescribed. That doesn't happen nearly as much as it needs to to be effective.
Two weeks in the life of an addict can be a lifetime when considering life-changing events. Much progress or disintegration can occur in two weeks. If a client has not responded well in terms of his/her drinking or using drugs the chances of them having another chance to go to treatment again are very slim. Their reports become untrustworthy.

6. Lack of Senior-Specific Treatment Programs

There really aren't many treatment programs that are senior-specific and many times seniors end up going to a public program that is attended by clients of all ages. 
Seniors tend not to do all that well with teenagers, for instance, who have a very different view of the world around them and the seniors tend to feel frightened, lost, disconnected from their 'real' world and angry. They truly don't understand the type of behaviour that passes for OK now.
The biggest drawback, however, is that older adults lose the belief that they can be helped in a place like this and so they give up. They do their time and leave with little benefit because they see themselves and their problems differently from the 'young ones'. Remember seniors are no different from others in that they have a communication network that chats together. Have one senior talk about his/her experience in a "place like that" and that is often enough to put any others who may need the help off from going for help. There is a lack of credible information.

7. Programs 'Too Remote'

Programs can be quite a distance from their holes, families, neighbourhoods and their friends. They feel isolated and that they are being punished in some way.

8. Denial

The toughest hurdle is their own denial that anything is wrong. They say, "So I have a few too many sometimes-big deal-just leave me alone I've earned the right to enjoy myself" or they forgot to take their meds so they double up thinking that they need to get back on track. They don't want to see the problems with their behaviour and the choices they are making as being potentially harmful.

9. Loneliness

Seniors use because they are lonely and that isn't going to change whether they cut down or quit. If they don't feel they have a place in the family or that they are loved and valued they are likely to increase their use or use more secretly. If family doesn't have the time to spend with them that is the problem not that they treat their loneliness with alcohol or drugs. They use as a replacement for family and social contact. Why would they give that up by cutting down? In this case it's the family and the relationship with the senior that is the barrier.

10. Lack of Peer Support Groups for Seniors

There is a lack of counseling groups specific to this issue available in appropriate settings that have other folks the same age attending so that they can identify with others who have similar things going on in their lives. There needs to be solid and consistent care and support with accurate information available to seniors about health concerns -- truthful but not threatening. They need to understand what is happening and what their options are. 

Taking Care of Our Seniors

Some of the barriers that exist are those created by governments who have lost sight of a whole group of people who need to be represented more energetically. Our seniors need to be acknowledged and treated as equitably as women and youth are when considering treatment solutions. It is true that some of these barriers are created by the seniors themselves but we still need to break them down and make it easier for seniors to accept help. The other part of this is that families need to stop judging their parents or relatives and try to be more supporting, understanding, accepting and caring.
Our seniors are an important resource for us and we need to provide for them at a time when they are most vulnerable. It is time for the rest of us to step up and take care of our seniors just like they took care of us all those years when we needed it the most. We need to represent them publicly. We need to remove the barriers that prevent them from receiving the qualified assistance they deserve. It's called the circle of life.

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And, as always, thank you for reading!
All the best to you and yours,


Martin Schoel,
founder of Choose Help
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Hello all....attached you will find the June NFF Newsletter.  Enjoy - special AA anniversary and history edition!!!

How I got Sober: Wings Drummer Denny Seiwell

Moms:
PLEASE JOIN US AND PLEASE SHARE THE LINK so another addict's mom will find us, she will find much comfort, love and support... https://www.facebook.com/#!/cnnparents  
CNN has a chat with Barbara Theodosiou planned for this Monday, June 22 from 1p to 2p ET. The following is a message from Kelly Wallace at CNN who wrote the piece about Daniel that we have pinned. 2,000 people have "Shared" the story and 4000 have "liked" it just from the CNN page. Apparently those are high numbers for the CNN page. People are paying attention. We have the incredible, a.mazing, and tireless Barbara Theodosiou to thank for this. She is your "Voice" and people are listening!
The chat will take place on the CNN Parents Facebook page. Here is the link: https://www.facebook.com/#!/cnnparents If you could go ahead and ‘like’ the page from The Addict’s Mom, that would help ensure that your responses during the chat appear higher up on the page.

If you help spread the word and encourage your members to participate, that would be great. Please feel free to start promoting the chat even now. In advance of the chat, any members could send us comments and questions on the CNN Parents page ... and if they have private questions, they could send a private message to CNN Parents and we’d try to get their questions answered.
CNN Parents
News/Media Website · 191,674 Likes
Visit The Addict's Mom at: http://addictsmom.com/?xg_source=msg_mes_network

Saturday, June 20, 2015

JUNE 20 CHP 10 v 17 TWELVE STEPPING WITH STRENGTH FROM THE PSALMS


Lord , you know the hopes of the helpless .Surely you will hear their cries and comfort them.
(GODS BIG BOOK)

Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over addictions—that our lives had become unmanageable.

Unmanageable is putting it very lightly ! Hopeless is where I was and millions of others and that is a good place even though you just want to die. They call it rock bottom ! It is where I found God ,  I discovered He  was there the whole time patiently waiting for me to admit , I screwed life up and I cant do life on my own anymore . God works quietly behind the scenes ,helping those who admit their helplessness to overcome the enemies (addictions) and problems they face. When we humble ourselves and put our trust in God ,we can have hope that one day God will give us a full recovery.If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction e-mail me at recoveryfriends@gmail

I might be able to help. PRAYING FOR YOU AND GOD BLESS YOU!

Ezekiel 36:26
I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.
(GODS BIG BOOK) By Joseph Dickerson




Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Frequent Visitors to the ER at Increased Risk of Death From Prescription Drug Overdose - Partnership for Drug-Free Kids

Frequent Visitors to the ER at Increased Risk of Death From Prescription Drug Overdose - Partnership for Drug-Free Kids

Frequent Visitors to the ER at Increased Risk of Death From Prescription Drug Overdose - Partnership for Drug-Free Kids

Frequent Visitors to the ER at Increased Risk of Death From Prescription Drug Overdose - Partnership for Drug-Free Kids

Alcoholism Medication May Help Treat Methamphetamine Addiction - Partnership for Drug-Free Kids

Alcoholism Medication May Help Treat Methamphetamine Addiction - Partnership for Drug-Free Kids
 Women for Sobriety, Inc.
Reflections

Hello WFS Friends!
I thought you would like to read one of the day passages from the WFS booklet, "Reflections for Growth" that WFS's Founder, Jean Kirkpatrick, wrote.  All women using our program in their recovery are encouraged and welcomed to submit their comments on this reflection for possible publication in the July 2015 issue of Sobering Thoughts newsletter...please send them to contact@womenforsobriety.org by June 22nd.  Thanks!

SOBRIETY:

Sobriety can be hell or sobriety can be the most marvelous time of our life.  I choose to make it the latter.  Those who find it a state of hell are those who are still wanting to drink.
Today I cherish my wonderful, new life.
(This was an excerpt from "Reflections for Growth" booklet and may be purchased through the WFS Catalog at http://www.wfscatalog.org/Reflections-For-Growth-Bundle-BT174.htm - there are 12 booklets - one for each month of the year.  Copyright WFS Inc.)
Warm regards,
Becky Fenner, WFS Director

Email:  contact@womenforsobriety.org   *   Tel215-536-8026   *   Fax:  215-538-9026
http://www.womenforsobriety.org   *   http://www.wfscatalog.org
Creation Story We Never Get Tired Of
80 years of sobriety: Alcoholics Anonymous celebrate 80 years of dodging the drink    
WHAT was a seemingly unplanned meeting in Akron, Ohio on June 10, 1935 between two men, both "hopeless" alcoholics, began a programme of recovery that has helped millions get sober and a fellowship known as Alcoholics Anonymous. A stockbroker from New York, Bill Wilson, was one of them. He was fighting his own battle against drinking and already knew that helping other alcoholics was the key to maintaining his own sobriety. Bill traveled to Akron on business. He had been sober for five months but found himself alone...(more will be revealed)

Researchers Reveal New Criteria For Diagnosing Alcoholism « CBS New York

Researchers Reveal New Criteria For Diagnosing Alcoholism « CBS New York

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

JUNE 16 CHP 139 v 16 TWELVE STEPPING WITH STRENGTH FROM THE PSALMS


Your eyes saw my unformed body, all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. (GODS BIG BOOK)

ordained- order or decree (something) officially.

decree- an official order issued by a legal authority.


STEP 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.


What if our poor decisions on choosing to use are a test designed by God to lead us too Him. It is so easy too think we are in control until we find ourselves strung-out and homeless in an alley somewhere on our knees crying out to God above , if you there please help me escape this hell or just take me outta here. What I do know is if it was not for my addictions I would have never got to know God on a deep personal level like I do now. Growing up I went to a school that told me about Him but I never Knew Him ! I had to take myself too hell to discover He is a loving merciful Father and creator and He desires a relationship with us and in order too accomplish this we must first realize we are not alone in this world and He is seeking us too find Him and know Him. That emptiness in our hearts that causes us too use and seek whatever it is to try and fill that empty space can only be filled by our Heavenly Father. Read the verse above over and over and ask God too reveal Himself and he will and no it wont be a burning bush it will be a sense of wholeness love and completion in your heart. When you have reached a point of brokenness in your life and all you want to do is die cry out to Him and don't stop until His spirit comes bringing freedom and comfort. Don't try to rationalize what I am saying just do it even if you think its crazy.GOD IS REAL ! GOD LOVES YOU ! YOUR ARE HIS DEARLY LOVED CHILD ! GOD MISSES YOU ! HE ALREADY KNOWS YOU ! GOD IS DESPERATELY SEEKING TO KNOW YOU ! GOD WILL NOT FORCE YOU ! YOU HAVE TO TELL HIM YOU NEED HIM ! 

Revelation 3-20 - Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.
(GODS BIG BOOK) By Joseph Dickerson

    

 Sat., June 20, 10 am: COA Baseball! 
 

On Saturday, June 20 at 10:00 am, the COA Angels will play their annual Sage Ferraro Memorial Game at Thunder Stadium against the NJ Spartans in a regular season NJABL game. There will be no charge for admission, though donations will be accepted. Enjoy hot dogs, soda & water on us!

As Rich Fisher, writer for the Trentonian, put it "If the story of the newly formed City of Angels adult amateur baseball team doesn't make you feel good, then you're either the crankiest person on earth or the emotionless Dr. Spock from Star Trek. This is a story of second chances, dedication and courage." Click here to read more.

Sat. June 20, 2 pm: Life ReScripted Workshop

Are painful memories holding you back? 

ReScript them at this workshop!






Life ReScripted is a (FREE!) experiential workshop that uncovers and clears unresolved issues that can undermine recovery. There are strong and compelling reasons why these issues persist. 

A rescripting identifies and transforms the root cause of our self-sabotaging choices & behaviorWhether they were small injuries or major dramas, from last week or many years ago....

A few comments from past workshop participants:
"Life ReScripting is one of the greatest gifts I have received." - Male, New York
"Vicki, you are part of the healing force for survivors" - 12 Step Retreat Coordinator

"It has taken me over 40 years to get to this point and this event has been my spiritual awakening.... feels like a mountain has been lifted from my shoulders. ...Vicki I wanted to share with you that the outcome that we did in the ReScripting session that I so badly wanted from my father all those years ago did come true. ...the response from my Dad was so real and authentic that I couldn't help thinking what a blessing the Rescripting session was. G-d bless you and thank you." - Male,­ Sydney, Australia

To learn more about Life ReScripted and its facilitators, click here

Time: 2:00 to 6:00 pm, Dwier Center (392 Church Street, Groveville, NJ).

For questions or comments, contact: cityofangelsnj@hotmail.com