Many of us have heard the saying “woman (or man) of honor and dignity” or have heard the reading talk about being “productive members of society”. Some of us aren’t really sure what that means. These are two sayings that infer that we have become responsible adults that are participating in our recovery community. We are regular contributors in our family dynamics. We strive to be the best students and coworkers that we can be. But, maintaining all of these can become a “balancing act”.
Before we became recovering, a drink or a drug was behind every decision. The balance in life was way off. The off-balances in work have led to joblessness and have disrupted our relationships – we really intended to show up for that wedding, birthday, christening, bat mitzvah. As we move forward in recovery and apply the steps in our lives, we have many opportunities to learn and do new things. These new opportunities can improve our lives and solidify our relationships.
Time-management can drastically affect how we maintain balance in our lives. We sometimes have a hard time telling someone “no”. We end up overextending ourselves. Other responsibilities and commitments fall to the side. Sometimes, our meeting attendance or fellowship is neglected and we fall under high risk. To alleviate some of this risk, we suggest creating a schedule. This can help each of us better manage our time. Most smartphones have calendars. You can also purchase a paper calendar. Personally, I use a ringed monthly calendar. This allows me to see my whole month in front of me. I add both work and personal events to my schedule, so whenever something comes up, I can check to see if I can say “yes”.
Recovery has its own set of balances. At the top of this list should be home group, meeting attendance, sponsor, and step-work. For many of us, service work is a huge part of our recovery, and helping newcomers is paramount. When we look at the AA “triangle” symbol or NA’s "diamond", they remind us that any object needs at least three points to remain stable. When we are working on different aspects to our recovery, our foundation gets larger and more robust. With these foundations, it is hard for things to “knock us off our square”.
We must also factor in our employers, and for some of us, school. Often, everything on our schedule is based around our employment. This is crucial for many of us. If you are in early recovery and working on your “90 in 90”, when you go back to work, knowing what meetings you will be going to is essential to a balanced plan. Working too much has led to many a relapse.
The process of recovery is more than just abstinence from mind and mood-altering substances. It is changing the way we think, the way we act, what we eat, as well as adding some exercise. The Harvard School of Public Health states that adults should get a minimum of 150 minutes of activity a week. Many recovering people join the gym. However, this is not the only way to get some activity in. Some suggestions are hiking, swimming, and running. Volunteering can also bring some activity into our lives, whether this means walking dogs at an animal rescue, or helping clean up the place where your meeting is held.
Having balance in our lives doesn’t mean we can’t have fun. In fact, having fun can be an integral part of your balanced life. We should all strive to be “happy, joyous and free”. If you’re struggling to find activities that bring you joy, now is a perfect time to try something new. New activities can be a great way to introduce fun into our lives. The program tells us that we should be open-minded. We should remain teachable and try our best to do and support things with one another with a singleness of purpose. As long as no harm is being done, either to you or to others, we should all try our best to give new things a try.
Ultimately, there is a lot for us to do in recovery. I have heard that being busy is a blessing. I tend to agree. That being said, it’s important to remember that being busy and being over-booked are different things. In active use we do all that we can. In recovery, we use balance to level ourselves, and to keep ourselves and those close to us safe and happy. The rest of your life can be a “life beyond your wildest dreams”, but balance is key to maintaining that life, and the goals we set for ourselves each day.
“It's all about quality of life and finding a happy balance between work and friends and family.” ~ Phillip Green
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