“We must liberate ourselves from what was in order to be free for what is.”
-Jean Kirkpatrick, Ph.D., WFS Program Booklet
“You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don’t try to forget the mistakes, but you don’t dwell on it. You don’t let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space.” -Johnny Cash
“When the past calls, let it go to voicemail. It has nothing new to say.” -Mandy Hale
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Statement #9, “The past is gone forever.”
No longer will I be victimized by the past. I am a new person.
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+ Karen’s Perspective +
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This week we welcome a new year. Yesterday is gone forever, replaced by unlimited new experiences and fresh perspectives. Statement #9 in action is absolutely necessary to create our 4C sober tomorrows.
Closing the year can be a wonderful time as the past is released and a clean slate is prepared for the upcoming year. It can also be a time of insightful reflection; learning from trial and error as well and accumulating confidence. It feels very freeing to live Statement #9 with an open heart and mind.
Often times on our journey of New Life, there may have been moments that we wish we could erase and some that we desperately wish to hang on to. Since we cannot hold onto or erase the past, we must learn how to live with the past behind us. This means taking what may have appeared to be utter moments of pain or joy and turning them into moments of learning. When we find growth from an experience, we can also find value and purpose. This creates closure while opening the present.
In our Program Booklet, Jean mentions the “only interest in the past is for it to act as a guide, a map, for what we want to avoid in the future.” Understanding and accepting what previously worked and what did not, direction is unveiled. Instead of jumping from one dramatic moment to the next, vision and purpose unfolds. No matter what the past held, today is here and now.
Our Mission Statement concludes with “Release the past, plan for tomorrow and live for today.” Are you ready to do just that? Happy 4C New Year!! Hugzzz, Karen
- What will you leave behind in 2015?
- What will you prepare for in 2016?
- How will you live today?
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+ Dee’s Insights +
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Hi 4C Women, 2015 was a difficult, challenging year, so I thought about Karen’s question regarding what I will leave behind. I’m going to leave behind the mistakes I made and work on learning from them, to not care more than the other person does so I don’t become trapped and resentful in doing too much and letting go of the hurt and disappointment I experienced by doing too much for others (you all know I am NOT talking about friends!).
I will prepare for 2016 by creating and actually following through on healthier boundaries and practicing better self-care, which means I need to put myself first rather than sacrificing my needs for those who don’t care as much as I do. I am repeating that because I really need to learn this lesson.
I did learn a lot about myself this year and one of the greatest lessons is that I matter and it is important to consider my needs and well-being. Going on my trip to PA and NJ this past June was a huge wake up call. I wasn’t going to go because I was fearful of leaving my daughter after she got out of the hospital. It had been a month and the doctor told me I had better go on that trip because my daughter could handle it. I also was hoping my granddaughter would step up to the plate. Well, my granddaughter did not step up to the plate but my daughter survived without me! Wonder of all wonders. I had such fun visiting my family and friends so I now recognize that this needs to be a priority for my emotional health.
I am hoping that each of you will consider Karen’s questions and reflect in a manner that is not judgmental but definitely honest. It is that honesty that will help us know what we need to work on and therefore create a more fulfilling and joyful life in 2016.
For today, I will work on being true to myself and mostly to release the past so that I can heal, learn and become my own best friend. –Dee
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Thank you, Karen and Dee, for your words of encouragement and inspiration to start off our New Year! ~Becky Fenner, WFS Director
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