men for Sobriety, Inc. "Whatever I need I can find it, feel it, keep it or release it." ҉  “The best way of removing negativity is to laugh and be joyous.”  -David Icke “The world is full of a lot of fear and a lot of negativity, and a lot of judgement.  I just think people need to start shifting into joy and happiness.  As corny as it sounds, we need to make a shift.”  -Ellen DeGeneres “It’s your outlook on life that counts.  If you take yourself lightly and don’t take yourself so seriously, pretty soon you can find the humor in our everyday lives.  And sometimes it can be a lifesaver.”  -Betty White “Negativism is an overall feeling, an overall attitude.  It is an attitude that can dominate us to the exclusion of all other feelings.  It keeps us from being positive about any facet of our lives, and it rules us above any other feelings.”  -Jean Kirkpatrick, Ph.D., WFS Program Booklet *************************************************************************** Statement #2, “Negative thoughts destroy only myself.” My first conscious sober act must be to remove negativity from my life. *************************************************************************** +++++++++++++++++++ + Karen’s Perspective + +++++++++++++++++++      This last week has been intense for me, both physically and emotionally.  I began the week acknowledging the hard work that I have accomplished and having our kitchen remodeled.  The thrill early in the week gave way to an uncomfortable yet welcoming repeat 6 month mammogram and ultrasound.  I walked out of the hospital on cloud nine...feeling gloriously happy, relieved and content.  I am proud of the way I handled myself.  I felt my 4C shining brightly.      Many women have repeat testing done and this was my first adventure into this unknown avenue.  When I first received the news last fall that I would need a repeat, my mind immediately went into a familiar spiral of negativity.  What would happen next?  Was it cancer?  When will I know?  Why does six months take so long to get here but Christmas come so incredibly fast?  STOP IT RIGHT NOW!!!!      In quiet moments with myself, I brought out Statement #2 and I needed it.  For years and years I had traveled the route of panic and pressure and I was not going to let this negativity flourish.  I armed myself with positivity and I did not allow myself to dwell on something I had no answer to. Whenever commercials for anything cancer-related appeared on TV, I turned my mind to OFF and affirmed myself.  I knew nothing, so I was not going to worry.  I would worry when I had a reason to worry.  Anytime a stressful thought jumped in, I turned to my strength and encouraged myself. Each time I felt worked up, I worked in healthy and healing thoughts.      As the time came closer to my six month follow-up, I felt agitated and uneasy.  I brought out Statement #12 and decided that no matter what was going to happen, I would be able to move through it.  After all, I am a 4C woman!      WFS provides a guide for any situation, experience or feeling.  Repeat mammogram? Statement #2.  Feeling doubtful?  Statement #12.  Whatever I need I can find it, feel it, keep or release it.  Hugzzz, Karen  How do you respond to negative thinking?  +++++++++++++++ +  Dee’s Insights  + +++++++++++++++      Hi 4C Women, I’ve had a lot of practice with conquering negative thinking since the beginning of the year.  I kept trying to turn around the negative thoughts every time I went to the doctor, filled another prescription, experienced physical pain or thought about my daughter and her severe health problems.  If it wasn’t for the years of practicing the WFS statements, I might have been stuck in my bed with the covers over my head for a very long time.  Trust me, there were and are days when I cry because I also believe in expressing my feelings rather than holding them in. What I know is that WFS has taught me that negative thoughts are temporary and are an honest response to a person or situation.  Being aware of this has been the best lesson.  I can have a negative thought but I don’t have to live in it until I am either triggered or beat down for days. That brings me to having negative thoughts about those who have harmed or hurt me - the person response.  That might be the most difficult to overcome.  I know forgiveness is the key and it is the one that requires a lot of introspection, continuous hard work and remembering that this kind of negativity certainly does harm me and not the person I’m pretty angry with, even if I feel it is justified.  I fluctuate between being assertive and forgiving.  I feel if I am assertive, then I protect myself from letting the hurtful words be a personal attack and am grateful that I am not that angry person.  Other times, I make a decision that I need to forgive that person so I can let it go. Perhaps it also has a lot to do with the relationship.  It might be easier to forgive an acquaintance than a loved one.  The most important thing for me is that if I would allow negative thoughts to linger too long, I know they would take me to a dark place where I would be living in the past with all its regrets and pain.  This is why I love Statement 2 and the knowledge that negative thoughts destroy only myself.  Now why would I want to do that?  –Dee _________________________ Thank you, Karen and Dee, for your words of courage and strength to overcome those negative thoughts!  ~Becky Fenner, WFS Director

Email:  newlife@nni.com   *   Tel: 215-536-8026   *   Fax:  215-538-9026

http://www.womenforsobriety.org   *   http://www.wfscatalog.org

Best of the Week: April 11–17

COMING UP IN THE FIX// Thai Vomit Therapy * The Science of Work and Reaching Goals * Interview with Hazelden's Dr. Marvin Seppala * 10 Failures of State Drug Testing * Do People Outgrow Sex Addiction? * Chronic Illness in Sobriety *Fear * New Blog: Getting to a Place of Not Caring * PLUS: Other incisive articles

	DRUG WAR// The Emerald Triangle Up In Smoke? Does legalization spell the end for Humboldt County's cannabis culture? By Linda Stansberry
	NALTREXONE// One Pill or Twelve Steps? Who needs AA when you've got naltrexone? Anyone with a screaming void in their core that they've filled with alcohol, of course. By Jodi Sh. Doff
	PRO VOICES// Battling Bias: Tales from an Addiction Psychologist Stigma and stereotypes inside the treatment arena. By Amy J. Colley
	Q&A// The Fix Q&A with Chris Bell, Director of Prescription Thugs The director of Bigger Stronger Faster on his new documentary Prescription Thugs. By Dawn Roberts
	SLIDESHOW// 10 More Addiction Films You Have Probably Never Heard Of From a young Heath Ledger and a younger Gary Oldman to Pure, Smashed and Spun: another dose of The Fix's underrated—but great—movies about addiction. You're welcome. By Regina Walker

 

BEST OF THE QUICK FIX Puerto Rico Sending Hundreds of Drug Addicts to the U.S. U.S. Swim Champ Michael Phelps A 'Changed' Man Since Rehab Ringo Starr Says He Wasted Years in Alcoholic Haze After Beatles Breakup

Smoking Weed While Drinking Makes Users Far More Likely To Drive Drunk Porn-Addicted Mother Provides Weed, Sets Up ‘Naked Twister Party’ For Teen Daughter Nurse Jackie, TV’s Most Honest Depiction of Addiction, Enters Its Final Season

COMMENT OF THE WEEK

Uneducated This week, Amy J. Colley discussed how addicts run into bias from addiction stigma from the very people who are supposed to get them better. Readers shared their struggles in seeking treatment as addicts:

Well, part of the problem is that the education and healthcare systems are set up to separate addiction treatment from mental health treatment--as if they were two entirely unrelated issues instead of problems that most frequently go hand in hand. Therefore many psychologists and psychiatrists have no training in addiction. In my own case, after several months of working with a clinical psychologist on anxiety and relationship issues, I revealed to her that I was addicted to alcohol. She immediately discharged me and told me to seek addiction treatment, but could not even give me a treatment referral as she had no experience or knowledge at all about addiction issues. -MonaLisa1998 MORE »

Best of the week from Choose Help Adult Children of Alcoholics and Addicts: Haven’s Story As we focus on adults in recovery from addiction, we often overlook the needs of their children. In many cases they have to find their own way. There are some stories that go untold. As we focus on adults in recovery from addiction, we often overlook the needs of their children. In addition to what kids have to go through when their parents are active, there are countless adjustments following their parent's recovery that often go unsupported. The long-term affects of this failure can be debilitating. As the adage advises: "What we lived with we learned. What we learned we became." Haven's Story HAVEN is an amazing young woman who reached out to me long after I helped facilitate her father's recovery. She thanked me for helping her dad as he is thriving today but went on to ask, "You remember me as a kid. I'm an adult now but I'm by no means grown up. What am I supposed to do?" To best determine what would be helpful and to support her in having a voice, I encouraged Haven to share her story of surviving her parent’s addictions and mental illness and what her needs are today. Her insights as an Adult Child Of an Alcoholic/Addict (ACOA) show wisdom well beyond her years: “I want you to know that no one in the last three generations of my family had a 'normal'childhood. When I was born, my parents were turning 20 and 21. It was kids having kids. To be honest I don't think anyone really 'grew up'. While I wasn’t ever free to just be a kid, it takes longer for people like me to mature emotionally. We tend to stay stuck at the same mental ages as when we were the most hurt. For me that’s eight years old.” A Child’s Wish Clinicians call it “magical thinking”. A child wants something so desperately, they simply decide that bad things were only a dream and/or good things are going to happen because they are necessary. Haven explains this occurring in her childhood: “I had the strongest wish, a theory, that this was all a horrible nightmare, and that I would wake up tomorrow with everyone home, sober, and filled with love. And every time I realized that wasn't going to happen, it broke my heart even more. Then there were times where I wish we could just pretend, and maybe it would just end up working out.” Being Parentified Growing up in a family where addiction and/or abuse and neglect is present forces a child to take on roles to compensate for the ways in which the family fails to function in a healthy manner. Most literature on ACOAs recognizes the roles of Hero, Mascot/Clown, Scapegoat, Lost Child, and as in Haven’s case, being a Caregiver: “My parents did drugs when I wasn't there and drank when I was there. They fought a lot. My mother had a mental health disorder and both of them had a drinking/drug problem. I was eight when the divorce was enacted. I protected my brother from the things that I couldn't protect myself from. I was young, but I remember how scared I was. He wasn't old enough to remember any of it, which I am glad for. I wish he had some of the good memories. “ Labels “I’ve been labeled an "affected other". That term is so cold and unfeeling to me. It doesn't express the trauma of what I’ve been through. I had to move my bureau in front of my door because I was afraid my Mother's “parties” would enter my bedroom. No child should have to deal with that. “Affected other” doesn't even begin to describe the things I have seen, heard and felt. Kids are seen as resilient little creatures that bounce back no matter what you do. That notion is deceiving. Sure we “bounce back”, but the way we do can be pretty nasty and disfigured. Only a lucky few can take all that hurt and anger and turn it into something amazing. Some of us become artists, some therapists, others become singers. Music is how I cope and singers are what got me through my low points. Unfortunately, many of us go on to become what we feared: addicts and alcoholics.” Her View on Recovery "Only one of my parents is in recovery. The other I have lost all contact with and I prefer it that way. In my mind, when someone is in recovery, they are in for life. It isn't a crutch, it isn't an excuse, its a safety system. Going it alone isn’t manageable. We are pack animals, and when the disease makes you turn on your family of origin, you need another pack that knows what you are going through to help. The family of originmustn’t become enablers and babysitters, but rather, light houses. How the Past Impacts Her Present “I have been hurt so much by my parents that I have a hard time trusting people. I am always positive and strong, but if you could project the inside of my mind, it's riddled with worry, self-hatred, loneliness, disgust and love for this world, indecision, depression, anxiety, artistic abilities, a rhythm that would put Elvis to shame, and a need for me to help people with what I have experienced. According to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, I am a Healer. That’s what I tried to do with my parents. I tried to be a mother to them, when they were supposed to be taking care of me. My greatest challenge is to get as good at taking care of me as I am at taking care of others. I have learned that there’s a world of difference between caring for and taking care of." Today Haven identifies creative expression, writing, and sharing her story for the benefit of others as ways to ensure her continued growth and healing. She is currently pursuing a bachelor’s degree in the field of health and human services. She shows great wisdom in identifying the need for further healing before entering the field. Read in browser »   Recent featured articles: Opioids Increase Depression & Depression Increases Opioid Misuse Discover the Value in Adding Spiritual Practices to Recovery When Someone You Love Uses Heroin - 6 Ways to Support Positive Change The Neurological Model for Food Addiction – How the Overconsumption of Food Causes Addiction-Like Changes to the Brain Working it Through: A Closer Look at The 12 Steps of AA – Part 2 of 2 And, as always, thank you for reading! All the best to you and yours, Martin Schoel, founder of Choose Help P.S. If you’d like to dive into the conversation, make sure to follow us on Twitter or like us on Facebook (40K+ people do). FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO A LOVED ONE Do you or someone you know need rehab? Click or 'Tap' to speak with us now: (877) 333-5266 Facebook Twitter Google Plus Pinterest

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Addiction and Recovery News 4/14/2015 KLEAN Weekly w/ Pat O'Brien 3 days ago  •  49 views Klean Radio   + 1 more

April 17 CHP 16 v 4 TWELVE STEPPING WITH STRENGTH FROM THE PSALMS 

Troubles multiply for those who chase after other gods. I will not partake in their sacrifices of blood or even speak the names of their gods.

 (GODS BIG BOOK )

STEP 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

When folks say a God of our understanding , that does not mean of your creation. So many are deceived and pursue the wrong higher power and then they wonder why their lives are still empty and miserable. There is but one GOD ! He is the creator of all there is and was and that includes you . Don ' t listen to what people in the rooms are trying to tell you about there false gods. Listen to your heart and buy His book (GODS BIG BOOK)Life Recovery Bible .He is available 24/7 all you have to do is pray and read .

Isaiah 44:66 - Thus saith the LORD the King of Israel, and his redeemer the LORD of hosts; I [am] the first, and I [am] the last; and beside me [there is] no God.(GODS BIG BOOK) 

By Joseph Dickerson

Women for Sobriety, Inc. What Can We Do In 2015? UPDATE April 11, 2015:  From March 21st, when we announced this fundraiser, up to today... YOU have raised a grand total of $2,360!!  Not only have YOU matched Teddy's Challenge, YOU have EXCEEDED it!  So... HOW MUCH HIGHER CAN YOU GO??!!  There are EIGHT MORE WEEKS TO GO to raise more $$ for WFS... the CHALLENGE CONTINUES... THE CHALLENGE IS ON!  WFS online member, TeddyBear, has generously donated $1,000 to WFS and challenges each and every one of you to match her donation by contributing any amount ($5, $15, $40, $75,....) until it meets or EXCEEDS her donation by the time of our WFS Conference in June.  Click to donate here:http://www.wfscatalog.org/Donations_c16.htm Thank you, Teddy, for your kindness and generosity; and for inspiring all of us to help support Women for Sobriety's much-needed services!  Every dollar counts!  WE CAN DO THIS TOGETHER!! Capable & Competent; Caring & Compassionate!, Becky Fenner, WFS Director Email:  newlife@nni.com   *   Tel: 215-536-8026   *   Fax:  215-538-9026

http://www.womenforsobriety.org   *   http://www.wfscatalog.org