December 4 v 23 v 24 POWER IN THE PROVERB

Keep your heart with all diligence,

For out of it spring the issues of life.

Put away from you a deceitful mouth,

And put perverse lips far from you.

STEP 10 : Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

Many people will disagree with me when I tell them addiction is a heart problem.The proverb makes it clear keep your heart with all diligence for out of it spring the issues of life. You can't get any clearer than that.This rings so true for me because when I was in my addiction my heart was broken I thought beyond repair.I had so much pain from anger , shame , guilt , rejection , fear , and the list can go on and on. Beginning the steps is so important and vital because it forces us to look at our broken hearts and address what is breaking them. Societies treatment realm pushes that addiction is a head problem and makes addiction worse by getting our focus on our thinking telling us it is a disease which in effect made it worse for me not only is my heart broken but now I am sick with a horrible disease. I have discovered in my Thirteen years of sobriety that the Christian Recovery approach has the most success because it gets t the heart of the matter and that is your heart. Step ten once reached will keep our hearts safe from fear ,shame, guilt ,rejection , anger and on and on. Fix the heart and the head will follow.

For more of POWER IN THE PROVERB and other great recovery news ,events and free resources.

Visit : www.joseph-recoveryconnections.blogspot.com

REALITIES IN RECOVERY

NAADAC & New Jersey Development Committee are proud to introduce:
Dr. Carlo DiClemente & Cynthia Moreno Tuohy

Morris Plains, NJ on December 6th, 2013!

Dr. Carlo DiClemente is conducing his training titled “Client Collaboration and Integrated Care” which discusses the reality of complicating problems, provide a client centered, process of change perspective, and offer ideas about how to create collaborative, ntegrated care.

Cynthia Moreno Tuohy is conducting her training titled “Conflict Resolution in Recovery” which is skilled-based and focused on the brain; how the brain works in conflict and strategies to affect the quality of recovery in relationships.

Join us this Friday for this great educational event and earn 6 CEs!

For More Information Click Here!
When:
December 6th
9 am—4 pm
Where:
Greystone Park Psychiatric Hospital
59 Koch Ave
Morris Plains, NJ 07950
COST:
Member—$15.00
Non-Member—$100.00
Lunch (optional) —Free

Get an extra $20 off for all Non-Members see details below!
Register Here for: Realities in Recovery!

Not a Member? Become a member today! For the month of December NAADAC is offering $20 off any new or renewed* membership. *To get the $20 discount, your NAADAC membership must have lapsed for 12 or more months.Click Here to find out how to recieve this amazing deal!

Professional Membership for NJ now only: $65

Associate Membership for NJ now only: $44

Student Membership for NJ now only: $12.50

**After you become a member register for the Realities in Recovery conference through the members only area to register for only $15!


Membership includes amazing discounts to many trainings and conferences, plus:

Eligible to earn over 75 free CEs online at your convenience through the NAADAC webinar series

Free official magazine of NAADAC, Advances in Addiction and Recovery

Reduced rates on conferences, publications, products, national credentials, & liability insurance

A national Code of Ethics, which raises the standard of care and the position of addiction treatment in the health care continuum

12 months of membership

Offer applies to all levels of membership (professional, associate, student)

Join for the first time or renew your lapsed membership of 12 months or more!

Click here for full list of benefits


CHECK OUT THE NEW NEW JERSEY WEBSITE: NAADACNJ

December 3 v 1 POWER IN THE PROVERB

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,

And lean not on your own understanding;

STEP 1 : We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and , that our lives had become unmanageable.

Powerless is not the right word and neither is addiction ! Without GOD we are powerless against self ! I was addicted to me and my way of doing life the way I felt it should be lived.The funny thing is we are born with a choice between right and wrong and when we came into this world we knew nothing.What we were taught or what we caught as children is how we handle our lives .Deep down inside my heart their was a longing for something and no matter what I tried to fill it with it never satisfied.Sex,Chemical substances ,gambling ,money and the list can go on.Trust in the Lord was the most important thing I was not taught as most are not. Trust in the Lord is what everyone should be taught , trusting in GOD will not only filled the emptiness I felt it assures me that I am not on my own in the good times and the bad. Leaning not on my own understanding is a must and trusting in GOD is the key to the success ,peace ,joy and love I have finally found in my life. Step one should read we admitted we are powerless over self without GOD and our lives have become unmanageable , but with GOD our lives will become manageable .We are never powerless with GOD .So trust Him with your whole heart ,talk to HIM everyday ,depend on Him every moment ,He will restore you to sanity . 

For more POWER IN THE PROVERB and other recovery resources !

Visit : www.joseph-recoveryconnections.blogspot.com

I Was 13th-Stepped (And I Kind of Liked It!)

In 12-step programs, the infamous 13th Step comes when an old-timer seduces a newcomer. Here's the view of a recipient.


Oh my! Photo via
By Amy Dresner

04/16/13
When I had 60 days sober, I started dating an AA member with 19 years. His sponsor told him he could do what he wanted, as long as he was willing to pay the consequences. My sponsor told me it wasn't a good idea because I was newly sober. I didn't listen.

I liked the guy because he didn't talk my ear off about recovery. Guys with four years tend to tell me how to work my program, and how they won't get involved with me until I have a certain amount of time sober.

“How come you donʼt lecture me about my program?” I asked my old-timer one day.

“Because Iʼm trying to date you, not be your sponsor," he told me. "And I donʼt consider you a ʻnewcomerʼ because you've been in and out of the program for 17 years. You just donʼt have any time.”


If you have daddy issues—and I plead guilty—dating an old timer will totally scratch that itch.

When I told him I was fucking other people, he told me he didn't care. Not trying to control a newcomerʼs behavior is the best way to control their behavior, as we are defiant by nature. But our self-esteem is low and if youʼre too nice, weʼre repulsed or suspicious. I broke up with this guy three times in three weeks.

This is not the first man with double-digit sobriety that I have “dated.” Iʼve been 13th-steppednumerous times (given that I've been “new” over and over) and my experience is that men, no matter how long their recovery, are still men. Lust is usually the last of the instincts to be tamed.

Men with a lot of time are usually very grounded. They've done so many inventories theyʼre not easily riled. Most of their “buttons” have gone away. But you can still find them. As much work as theyʼve done on themselves, you can still get their goat.

When I was brand new to the program, and had four months clean, I dated a man with 17 years. It was easy to put him on a pedestal. I needed the love and validation he provided, but the balance of power was off. I felt like I brought nothing but admiration and sex to the table. He made me feel like a little girl, constantly telling me I knew nothing. He was always berating me about my less than perfect program. I later found out he had a history of dating newcomers.

One day I asked him what was wrong and he yelled at me for bringing my "toxic alcoholism to my house." That was the end of that two-month affair.

When I had just days off a relapse last year, I hooked up with a British guy with 20 years. It was fun but brief. I had just separated from my husband and was far from ready to be involved. He was understanding but when he told his sponsor about me, he was advised to get an exorcism done on me immediately.

Iʼve had a few male sponsors, all very attractive, and I wonʼt deny that dating an old-timer is like getting to have sex with your sponsor. The general consensus is that dating old-timers is bad for newcomers, but I've seen that itʼs a helluva ride for the old-timer, given that the newcomer is crazy. They know going in that they will not be dating the same girl two days in a row, but they think theyʼre bulletproof and donʼt care. They generally know theyʼre gonna get their ass handed to them in this dynamic.

Only a handful of times did I get the condescending “Iʼm so excited for you to work the steps” speech, to which I would act highly interested while trying to unzip his pants.

But, as a newcomer Iʼm always telling them about what steps Iʼm working, bringing them my latest recovery news, like some eager puppy. “I just finished my Fourth step. Iʼm such a good girl. Iʼm getting better. Look.” And theyʼll pat me on the head and throw me onto the bed.

Another man, with 12 years, told me he rarely slept with newcomers because it only leads to mayhem. When youʼre newly sober, youʼre changing rapidly. As an old-timer, the changes are more subtle and have slowed down. “If youʼre dating a newcomer,” he said, “itʼs gonna be a roller coaster of emotion. If theyʼre working a program, theyʼre going to be changing rapidly. If theyʼre not, then itʼs just drama.”

He was wary of the predatory daring of the newcomers. “Young girls in short skirts at meetings is a con and they donʼt even know theyʼre doing it. I have to protect myself. Sometimes they just dare themselves, ʻCan I fuck himʼ?” He never picks up girls in meetings and wonʼt give a girl a ride home at 1 am from Swingers. “If Iʼm gonna stick around the program, I donʼt wanna be known as a guy who trolls."

So how did he end up with me? “Well you werenʼt new new. And we had a real connection. I never fuck people who are truly new to the program because they get their hearts broken and die.”

Old-timers develop an AA swagger; they're usually confident, calm and wise. Girls are very attracted to that. These guys end up hooking up with girls they would never get in the real world. Ironically men are not as attracted to the same thing in women with time. Girls who are crazy still take the prize.

If you have daddy issues—and I plead guilty—dating an old-timer will totally scratch that itch. They have an air of authority and experience which is hard to resist. They tend to be older, solid and sometimes paternal. You can always ask them for advice. When an-old timer says “good girl” to me, I lose my mind. Itʼs sick, I know. I should probably head back to therapy.

Another draw for dating an old-timer is that it is taboo. In spite of their better reasoning and the general AA consensus on the matter, they canʼt resist you. I must admit I initiated three out of four of these liaisons. If you have a decent body and bombard men with, um, “self-portraits,” they pretty much cave. Nobody is THAT sober. They are still powerless over women and sex.

Iʼm not gonna lie: I have a fantasy of being “saved.” Not just from my alcoholism but from myself. Itʼs easy to think old-timers have the all the answers and that they might lead you to the promised land of sanity and recovery.

The bottom line is that there are newcomers who are ready to be in relationships and women with 12 years who are not. Everybody moves and grows at a different rate. The standing suggestion for newcomers is that they should not get involved with anybody for the first year because their sobriety is still very tenuous and we, women in particular, tend to get loaded over romance.

But who listens to that? Love and sex are the next drug in demand when you take the booze away.

Amy Dresner is a regular contributor to The Fix. She recently wrote about her life as a tweaker.

The Fix is Back! | The Fix

The Fix is Back! | The Fix

December 2 v 7 v 8 POWER IN THE PROVERB

God holds success in store for the upright,

he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless,

for he guards the course of the just

and protects the way of his faithful ones.

STEP : 11 

I will seek through prayer and meditation to improve my conscious contact with God, praying only for the knowledge of His will for me and the power to carry it out.

Relationship is key to a successful recovery.Let me explain why this step is so important in my life.Lost in my addiction is what I was ,alone and isolated . I felt like I was the only one and nobody cared so why should I . Relationship with God is what was missing .There is no way we can live this life without the one who created us . Eleven is designed for us to develop our Relationship with not only our creator but a heavenly father who loves us the most out of all His creations.When we live for Him He gives us the Proverb as His promise too us. Following and living for Him will bring us success ,He will protect and guard us. Every morning I awake my first moments are talking to Him ,reading His Proverbs .I no longer feel alone ,because as 

long as HE is with me ,and I with Him my life is fulfilled and complete.

For more Power In The Proverb and other Recovery Resources !

Visit : www.joseph-recoveryconnections.blogspot.com