I truly relate to Karen’s message. As many of you know from my writings, I have been the caretaker for my daughter for several months. It was becoming emotionally overwhelming and I started having those red flag negative thoughts. What helped me was voicing my feelings, receiving compassion and understanding rather than judgment. This is what WFS has done for me. It helped me to learn to be responsible for my actions, for my decisions and it also provided a safe place to seek support. It is harmful for my emotional well-being to isolate, keep my feelings hidden and hang on with clenched fists when all I need to do is say, “I need help.” There is such great strength in asking for and receiving what we need to work through life’s challenges - and trust me, there will always be challenges. This is why creating healthy coping tools, reaching out when needed and building that strong, solid foundation of resiliency is the key to remaining sober and clean. It is so much more than not drinking or using. It is what building resilience is all about.
I just read an article in AARP (yes, I am well past the 50 years of age requirement) about building resiliency. The author thought that resiliency was the capacity to endure pain. She learned that resiliency is the strength and speed of our response to adversity.
Hardships and traumatic events happen to all of us and are not evenly distributed. Recovery does not start from the same place for everyone. This is another aspect of WFS that I value, that we do not compare our histories or current situations because what matters is how all of that is impacting our personal lives. Comparing one’s suffering over another’s can be risky. We do not live other people’s lives. We are in charge of how we solve and work on our own situations, seek guidance or input and offer that compassion so needed by each one of us no matter how small or large the issue. We are bonded by that gift of giving and receiving without judgment.
And lastly, please remember to put balance in your life. If you are feeling so stressed that negative thoughts start becoming the prominent thoughts, it’s time to see how you are nurturing yourself. It was the support of a friend in my WFS group and the meal team at my church that made it possible for me to go to the WFS conference and to go on to visit my family and friends in PA and NJ. I fearfully asked for much needed help and I abundantly received!
- What are your coping tools for handling adversity?
- What do you do to nurture yourself?
- When is the last time you asked for help?
- How do you practice being in charge of your mind, thoughts and life?
--WFS Member