Hi 4C Women,
What a great question from Karen. I practiced that this very morning. A man tried to intimidate me with his words and for a moment I was standing in front of my ex-husband, stumbling for the right response, feeling ignorant and trying not to cry so he wouldn’t see that he was succeeding. Statement 9 and 12 flashed before me. I am competent, smart and have learned to express myself assertively. It was just amazing that with all the knowledge and life experience I gained along the way, I was back in the past, questioning myself.
I share this because years ago, I would have stayed in that fearful state of mind. So, while I was there momentarily, I didn’t stay there. WFS in action, is powerful. I stood strong. Yet, I was a bit unnerved by it all and was blessed that a friend was close by who spoke to me about perhaps his being in a bad place and I became the recipient. In other words, it was more about him than anything about me. I also recognized that my reaction had more to do with the years of intimidation felt by my ex than this one encounter with someone I don’t know very well. That is another lesson I have learned through WFS – to be in the moment, to not lump everyone from the past into the present and deal with the situation at hand.
Jean was very wise in teaching us, through Statement 9, to release and heal from the past, to stop the pain, shame and perceived guilt that does not serve us in the present. For me, forgiveness of self has been the key to healing. There are still times that are difficult yet, without it, I would not be able to move forward at all or learn to make healthier choices in the present. Remember, we are in charge of lives, our decisions and that includes whether we are willing to release the past, stop victimizing ourselves and be in the present.
Bonded in releasing and healing from the past and no longer victimizing ourselves, 4C WFS Member
