Hi 4C Women,
I am grateful for Statement #12 as I doubted my competency for much of my younger life. Now that I am 73, younger is up to at least 55! Drinking certainly didn't help but was a wonderful excuse for my disillusioned lack of adequacy in decision-making. I discovered that it was my fear of failure and making a mistake in choices that fed my negative thoughts. Going through my divorce was a kick in the butt to start believing that I was competent and thanks for WFS, I actually started trusting myself. I survived failures, mistakes and acknowledged the positive outcomes of my decisions when they occurred. It wasn't all or nothing, it was learning to accept and cope in a much healthier way.
Here are some questions if you are struggling with believing you are a competent woman and have much to give life:
What makes us think we don't measure up?
Why do we expect so little from ourselves?
What kills our self-respect?
Your answers will vary. Consider these:
*Are we looking too much for the approval of others?
*Are we perfectionists, expecting too much from ourselves?
*Are we intimidated by the lost battles and failures of the past?
*Are we over-impressed by the success of others?
*Are we trying to escape responsibility by claiming to be a failure?
*Are we lacking a sense of proportion? Do we tend to make mountains out of molehills?
*Is our sense of humor weak? Can we laugh at ourselves?
These are such great questions. I hope you will take the time to reflect on the questions you feel resonate with you.
Bonded in competency,
4C WFS Member