Recovery Connections Network

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

“To know one’s own limitations is the hallmark of competence.”

-Dorothy L. Sayers

“Everybody’s got a different circle of competence. The important thing is not how big the circle is. The important thing is staying inside the circle.” -Warren Buffet

“We must believe in ourselves or no one will believe in us; we must match our aspirations with the competence, courage and determination to succeed.” -Rosalyn Yalow

Reflecting on Statement #12, it is enlightening to uncover this journey of competence in my New Life. What I have observed is every single day sober is a demonstration of competence; by not doing this one thing every day I open the door to competence and accomplishment.

Alcohol removed the ability to recognize and feel competence. So often setting a time or setting limits with alcohol were quickly abandoned, which in turn severed any feelings of competence or ability. Compounding these feelings of failure daily resulted in overwhelming feelings of self-doubt. I no longer felt capable of doing anything. Even the smallest of tasks seemed insurmountable.

Statement #12 encourages each woman to continually build frameworks of ability and awareness. This started my first day sober and continues into this current moment. With each new day, I began erasing feelings of failure and applying a fresh coat of competence. Compounding these feelings from the practice of Statement #12 results in the ability to understand and grow competence, while instilling awareness that I can ask for help at any time.

Hugzzz, Karen

Hi 4C Women,

Many women find it challenging to introduce themselves as a competent woman when first attending WFS meetings. I initially felt that way. However, I also began to understand that the more I said it, the more I began believing it. I had this strong need to prove that underneath all of my fears that I could change those old negative messages of who I “thought” I was. The more I practiced taking risks, trusting that I would survive, learning and growing into a competent woman, the more comfortable I began to feel in trusting my choices. Fear and trust – overcoming and becoming.

I would encourage you to take a risk or two and examine the outcome with an open mind. Perhaps it didn’t work out as you had hoped yet there is much to learn from trying. That is how I feel competence begins to grow. You try, you learn, make more informed choices next time and, mostly, appreciate and acknowledge the strong effort you made in becoming that competent woman. It’s that trial and error method that informs us and builds a strong foundation of courage, insight and believing in your own personal strengths.

What are you willing to risk to gain this knowledge and belief in yourself?
What did you learn from your previous decision?
How will you use that information to build your competency?
Do you recognize the strength in seeking help and actually reach out for it?
Do you acknowledge your victories in gaining competency?

We need to be our own best cheerleaders for this is how we build that positive definition of who we are and are becoming – 4C women indeed!

-WFS Member

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Motherhood is not often an easy task particularly when you’re the mother of an addicted child. The heartbreak and worry that we face while dealing with this horrible disease can make us feel isolated and alone. TAM is committed to providing our members with the best information possible about addiction treatment and recovery resources and helps us all to see that we are not alone in this journey.

Women who become pregnant while they are fighting for recovery face more difficulties and complications than their non-pregnant counterparts. There are relatively few treatment facilities that have the ability or resources to accept patients with a substance abuse problem who are also pregnant. Those that do accept pregnant patients limit their acceptance to the first trimester. Dr. Kristi Dively from Retreat Premier Addiction Treatment Centers provides the added assistance those expecting women need to continue their fight for sobriety. Retreat’s program has been developed in the past year and is the first of its kind in addiction treatment.

Dr. Dively grew up in Pennsylvania and took her training in OB/GYN. She spent several years in private practice and then in a non-clinical position before she transitioned into addiction medicine. Although she doesn’t have a personal experience with addiction, she feels that fate brought her to this type of treatment because of the lack of resources for this segment of recovery.

Retreat Premier Addiction Treatment Centers will treat women abusing any substance up to 32 weeks of gestation (roughly 8 months along). Dr. Dively works with local OB/GYN’s to coordinate their prenatal care with their plan of treatment including any necessary labs, ultrasounds, and specialist visits as required. She understands the needs of these women and feels that specialized care during their pregnancy is essential to assisting with their rate of success.

“The most rewarding aspect is following up with my pregnant moms and finding out they were still sober at delivery,” said Dr. Dively. She is proud of every patient of hers that reaches that milestone and feels that most of these patients want to get clean and sober but sometimes lack the skills or ability to make the changes happen. This program gives the tools they need to get to that point. Many women who reach the milestone of delivering sober tend to use their child as their incentive to maintain their sobriety as well.

It is not difficult to see the potential of such an innovative program as this. According to a University of Michigan study, 1 baby is born addicted to opiates every hour in the US and approximately 13,539 are born with Neo-Natal Abstinence Syndrome (NAS) every year. The March of Dimes describes NAS as a medical condition caused by exposure to drugs in the womb. The rates of addicted births and babies born with NAS have multiplied at least 10 times over the last decade and there seems to be little end in sight to that growing trend.

Dr. Dively and Retreat Premier Addiction Treatment Centers have developed an innovative program that is making a difference in the world of treatment and addiction recovery. What an inspiring option for women who face the struggle of addiction with the added complication of pregnancy.

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