| |||||||||||||||
Thursday, September 18, 2014
Use of Drugs and
Alcohol Among Teens Declines Again
September 17th, 2014/
The rate of drug and alcohol use among American teens continues to decline, a new government study indicates. Teens’ use of tobacco also dropped, The Washington Postreports.
The rate of current illicit drug use among teens ages 12 to 17 was 8.8 percent in 2013, compared with 9.5 percent in 2012, and 11.6 percent in 2002. The 2013 National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH) also found between 2002 and 2013, the level of teens with substance dependence or abuse problems decreased from 8.9 percent to 5.2 percent.
Between 2002 and 2013, teens’ rate of regular alcohol use declined from 17.6 percent to 11.6 percent. During that period, marijuana use among teens ages 12 to 17 also declined. Teens’ recreational use of prescription painkillers decreased as well.
The NSDUH is an annual survey of a nationally representative sample of about 70,000 Americans ages 12 and older. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) released the report as part of its 25th annual observance of National Recovery Month.
Many Americans who need treatment for a substance use disorder are not receiving specialty treatment, the report indicates. While 22.7 million Americans 12 and older needed treatment for an illicit drug or alcohol use problem last year, only 2.5 million received it in a facility designed to treat substance use disorders.
“This report shows that we have made important progress in some key areas, but that we need to rejuvenate our efforts to promote prevention, treatment and recovery, to reach all aspects of our community,” SAMHSA Administrator Pamela Hyde said in an agency news release.
Online Initiative Aims to Reduce Prescription Drug Abuse
September 17th, 2014/
An online initiative designed to reduce prescription drug abuse is beginning to gain steam after launching in 2010, according to The Washington Post.
The initiative, called Electronic Prescribing for Controlled Substances (EPCS), is a rule by the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) that allows pharmacies and care providers to handle prescriptions for controlled substances that are designated Schedule II-V entirely online. The program is voluntary.
Schedule II drugs include oxycodone and fentanyl. The DEA recently announced it willreclassify hydrocodone combination products such as Vicodin from Schedule III to Schedule II.
The system reduces reliance on paper prescriptions, which decreases the risk of forged prescriptions, the article notes. The system also generates information that allows doctors and pharmacies to identify potential cases of drug misuse. New York launched a new online prescribing system last summer, which helped identify 200 incidents of “doctor shopping” in the first three days, according to the newspaper.
The launch of EPCS has been slow for several reasons. States have had to change their laws to align with the DEA rule, and had to ensure the prescribing networks were secure. In the past year, electronic prescriptions for controlled substances have started to increase, according to data from DrFirst, a vendor of EPCS technology. The number of EPCS transactions increased from about 11,000 in January 2013 to 60,000 in July 2014.
Surescripts, the company that operates the largest e-prescribing network, found as of August, 50 percent of pharmacies were able to electronically prescribe controlled substances, up from around 40 percent at the end of 2013. Implementation of the program has been uneven, ranging from 74 percent of pharmacies in Delaware to 15 percent in North Dakota.
Starting in March, New York will be the first state to require controlled substances to be prescribed electronically.
College Tries New Ways to Reduce Binge Drinking
September 17th, 2014/
Colleges are looking for new ways to reduce binge drinking, as part of initiatives to reduce campus sexual assaults, NPR reports.
Frostburg State University in Maryland and city police agreed in 2012 to joint jurisdiction. This allows campus police to patrol off campus, looking for house parties. The university helps to pay overtime costs for state, county, city and campus police near the school. “We know there’s going to be underage drinking,” said Frostburg State University police officer Derrick Pirolozzi. “We can’t card everybody. But we want to make sure everybody does it the right way and safe way.” The aim is to prevent bad behavior before it starts.
“The thing that’s so striking to me is that many universities perceive [binge drinking] as an intractable problem and that there’s nothing they can do,” Jonathan Gibralter, president of Frostburg State University, told NPR. When he became president in 2006, the party scene was “out of control,” he said.
In addition to the joint patrols, the school has instituted more Friday morning classes to discourage students from drinking on Thursday nights. Gibralter was instrumental in passing Maryland’s ban on the sale of grain alcohol. The school has received a state grant to form a coalition with police, city officials, parents and business leaders to reduce underage drinking.
Gilbralter has been surprised by the parents and alumni who say they drank in college and don’t see it as a big problem. “When I tell parents that 1,800-plus college students drink themselves to death every year, they are stunned,” he said. “They have no idea.”
The changes seem to be having an effect. Since 2006 the share of Frostburg students who binge drink at least once every two weeks has decreased from 57 to 41 percent, the university says. The average number of drinks students have weekly has dropped from eight to four.
Medication Misuse a Rising Problem in Seniors: Experts
September 17th, 2014/
Medication misuse is an increasing problem in seniors as Baby Boomers age, according to experts. Many older patients develop addictions to prescription drugs, says David Oslin, professor of psychiatry at the University of Pennsylvania’s Perelman School of Medicine.
Older patients often misuse drugs because they continue to take them long after the medications stop being effective, Dr. Oslin told The Wall Street Journal. “Unfortunately, it’s much easier to take a pill than to exercise or routinely train health-care workers to properly treat the pain, anxiety, and insomnia often experienced by older adults,” he said.
Doctors may not recognize the potential for addiction in their older patients, according to James Huysman, a psychologist and a senior clinical consultant at the Hanley Center, a drug-treatment center in West Palm Beach, Florida. “Physicians who work in a fee-for-service system and are traditionally paid by procedure are pressed for time, and too often write prescriptions in the interest of time management without knowing the necessary behavioral health background of a patient,” he says. Doctors may end up prescribing potentially addictive drugs to people with a history of addiction, or who have a high risk for addiction.
When seniors take opioids or anti-anxiety medications for too long, they are at risk of cognitive decline and depression, as well as addiction, the article notes. Older patients who take a variety of drugs for their many medical conditions are at risk for potentially dangerous drug interactions. A dosage that is appropriate for a younger person may be too much for an elderly person.
The University of Pennsylvania has joined with a state pharmacy-assistance program to improve results for older patients prescribed anti-anxiety medications, antidepressants and antipsychotics prescribed by non-psychiatrists. Preliminary results suggest patients in the program show improvement in depression symptoms, and have better overall emotional well-being.
 | ||||||||||||||||||||||
Dear Joseph,
September is National Recovery Month, a time when we celebrate individuals who have bravely navigated the difficult and often devastating path of addiction.
   At the Partnership, we provide a place for those in recovery – like Ricky, Trena and Joshua – to share their stories and a chance to connect with our community who supports them. Every day, we take calls from people across the country looking for help for a loved one, giving them the tools they need to find and maintain sobriety. We need your support this month to keep these efforts going. We want to reach even more individuals who are struggling with addiction, giving them a place to come together, get help and share hope.  We hope you’ll join us in celebrating those overcoming their addiction, and help us continue our commitment to recovery by making a donation today. | ||||||||||||||||||||||
 | ||||||||||||||||||||||
| ||||||||||||||||||||||
| ||||||
|
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
September 16 Chp 143 v 3 TWELVE STEPPING WITH STRENGTH FROM THE PSALM
My enemy (addiction) has chased me . He has knocked me to the ground and forces me to live in darkness like those in the grave .
STEP 2 - Came to believe that God could restore us to sanity.
That explains addiction ! Once caught you will be imprisoned .If you try to get away you will be chased relentlessly . Like a corpse in a grave your addiction will allow no choices freedoms or light.You are under its spell and your mind and body begin to rot . Alone isolated and trapped is where you will be . Only God can dig you out once your buried in addiction.
When they cry out to the LORD because of their oppressors (addictions) He will send them a savior and defender (Jesus ), and He will rescue them. (Isaiah 19:20)
Are you up for a challenge? Please join In The Rooms for f.ree and send me a friend request (Barbara Theodosiou)
addictsmom on in the rooms. Also make sure to join the Addict's Mom group here is the link http://www.intherooms.com/
This Thursday 7:00pm EST on the Addict's Mom Live Video Chat Meetings on in the Rooms; We will be "Sharing Without Shame." Members will be reading poems, essays, letters, blogs written by those whose lives have been touched by addiction. We need 10 brave members to SHARE!!
Do you have a favorite story, letter, poem etc you wrote to your addict? yourself? your younger self? Or to anybody at all that you would like to share we would love your participation. To participate please join in the rooms, and the addicts mom group on in the rooms. Let me know you would like to share on Thursday September 18th by emailing me atbarbara@theaddictsmom.com. Please include your phone number and name on in the rooms.
Remember you can remain anonymous or not.
|
Visit The Addict's Mom at: http://addictsmom.com/?xg_
Sunday, September 14, 2014
September 14 Chp 73 v 26 TWELVE STEPPING WITH STRENGTH FROM THE PSALMS
My health may fail ,and my spirit may grow weak , but GOD remains the strength of my heart ; He is mine forever .
STEP 2 - Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
There is a Higher Power and his name is the GREAT " I AM " .Many twelve step programs tell you name your higher power whatever you want . My thinking is why cry out to a God of your understanding that does not excist because you created it. This universe and world in which we live was created by a God that is real and he loves you , and you are His greatest creation . He calls us Sons and Daughters and he understands our pains and hurts . God loved us so much that He gave His only begotten Son Jesus to die on a cross of reconciliation to bring us together with Him through Him and for Him. Your not getting clean or finding lasting joy or peace because you are praying too a God that does not excist ,stop listening too others and listen too God s voice coming from your heart. Be still and know that He is God.
Father's Love Letter
My Child ~
You may not know me, but I know everything about you ~ Psalm 139:1
I know when you sit down and when you rise up ~ Psalm 139:2
I am familiar with all your ways ~ Psalm 139:3
Even the very hairs on your head are numbered ~ Matthew 10:29-31
For you were made in my image ~ Genesis 1:27
In me you live and move and have your being ~ Acts 17:28
For you are my offspring ~ Acts 17:28
I knew you even before you were conceived ~ Jeremiah 1:4-5
I chose you when I planned creation ~ Ephesians 1:11-12
You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book ~ Psalm 139:15-16
I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live ~ Acts 17:26
You are fearfully and wonderfully made ~ Psalm 139:14
I knit you together in your mother's womb ~ Psalm 139:13
And brought you forth on the day you were born ~ Psalm 71:6
I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me ~ John 8:41-44
I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love ~ 1 John 4:16
And it is my desire to lavish my love on you ~ 1 John 3:1
Simply because you are my child and I am your father ~ 1 John 3:1
I offer you more than your earthly father ever could ~ Matthew 7:11
For I am the perfect father ~ Matthew 5:48
Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand ~ James 1:17
For I am your provider and I meet all your needs ~ Matthew 6:31-33
My plan for your future has always been filled with hope ~ Jeremiah 29:11
Because I love you with an everlasting love ~ Jeremiah 31:3
My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore ~ Psalm 139:17-18
And I rejoice over you with singing ~ Zephaniah 3:17
I will never stop doing good to you ~ Jeremiah 32:40
For you are my treasured possession ~ Exodus 19:5
I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul ~ Jeremiah 32:41
And I want to show you great and marvelous things ~ Jeremiah 33:3
If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me ~ Deuteronomy 4:29
Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart ~ Psalm 37:4
For it is I who gave you those desires ~ Philippians 2:13
I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine ~ Ephesians 3:20
For I am your greatest encourager ~ 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles ~ 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you ~ Psalm 34:18
As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart ~ Isaiah 40:11
One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes ~ Revelation 21:3-4
And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth ~ Revelation 21:3-4
I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus ~ John 17:23
For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed ~ John 17:26
He is the exact representation of my being ~ Hebrews 1:3
He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you ~ Romans 8:31
And to tell you that I am not counting your sins ~ 2 Corinthians 5:18-19
Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled ~ 2 Corinthians 5:18-19
His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you ~ 1 John 4:10
I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love ~ Romans 8:31-32
If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me ~ 1 John 2:23
And nothing will ever separate you from my love again ~ Romans 8:38-39
Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen ~ Luke 15:7
I have always been Father, and will always be Father ~ Ephesians 3:14-15
My question is ~ Will you be my child? ~ John 1:12-13
I am waiting for you ~ Luke 15:11-32
Love, Your Dad, Almighty God
Casey’s Law
Home » Casey’s Law
An involuntary treatment act for those who suffer from the disease of addiction.
What is Casey’s Law?
The Matthew Casey Wethington Act for Substance Abuse Intervention is named for Matthew Casey Wethington, who died in 2002 from a heroin overdose at the age of 23. Casey was an energetic young man who enjoyed life until it was “taken” by drugs. Casey never intended to become addicted to drugs when he used the first time. What he did not realize was that his using would progress from abusing to dependence and then to the disease of addiction. Although his parents tried to get him help, there was no law that could force someone into treatment because he was an adult. After Casey’s death his parents lobbied for a change. “Casey’s Law” passed on April 9, 2004, and took effect July 13, 2004.
What does this law provide?
The act provides a means of intervening with someone who is unable to recognize his or her need for treatment due to their impairment. This law will allow parents, relatives and/or friends to petition the court for treatment on behalf of the substance abuse-impaired person.
Why is this law needed?
Denial and distorted thinking impedes a person’s ability to make a rational decision. The “bottom” for many is death. Addiction is a progressive, life-threatening disease. The best hope of survival for a person who is substance abuse impaired is intervention. Studies show that involuntary treatment can be just as successful as voluntary treatment. Most individuals who are substance abuse-impaired receive court-ordered treatment only after they have become arrested for a crime while under the influence of a substance. Drugs and crime often go hand-in-hand because people who are substance abuse impaired are forced by their disease to resort to any means necessary to procure their drug. Court-ordered treatment can be effective regardless of who initiates it. Not all people who are substance abuse impaired are arrested or, in the event that they are, may not receive the necessary treatment.
What is the process to use Casey’s Law?
The following steps must be taken in order to involuntarily commit someone to treatment:
Obtain a copy of the petition from the District Court clerk’s office by requesting Form 700A – the Verified Petition for Involuntary Treatment of Alcohol/Drug Abuse – or click here to download.
A spouse, relative, friend or guardian of the substance abuse-impaired person completes the petition and files it with the District Court clerk.
The court reviews the allegations in the petition and examines the petitioner under oath.
The court determines whether there is probable cause to order treatment for the person named in the petition (the respondent).
If probable cause is established a judge appoints an attorney to represent the respondent, order the respondent to be evaluated, and schedule a hearing within 14 days.
The respondent is notified of the date and purpose of the hearing.
The respondent is evaluated by two qualified health professionals, at least one of whom is a physician, to determine if the respondent could benefit from treatment.
If the judge finds the respondent should undergo treatment, the court shall order treatment from 60 days up to 360 days, depending upon the request in the petition and the result of the evaluation. Treatment options vary depending upon each individual’s circumstances and can range from detoxification to intensive treatment through recovery.
Who pays for treatment?
As the law is currently written the petitioner is obligated to pay all costs incurred in the process as well as for the court-ordered treatment. The petitioner must sign a guaranty for payment. Low-income individuals living within the Fifth Congressional District may qualify for a UNITE treatment voucher if they acknowledge that they have a problem. For information call the UNITE Treatment Referral Line – 1-866-908-6483.
What happens if the respondent fails to comply?
Failure to comply at anytime during the process may place the respondent in contempt of court.
What is UNITE’s role?
Operation UNITE is helping to raise awareness of this law’s existence by distributing pamphlets and educating court staff. It is UNITE’s opinion that those with a substance abuse problem often need treatment, but are unwilling to seek assistance. This law has the potential to save lives by enabling family and friends to look out for a person’s best interest.
Saving My Teenage Junkie
Haley doesn't understand her own mortality. She could be one careless combination of substances away from death. If she was home, I lived in a continuing state of fear. I realized she had to be in long term treatment, I couldn't allow her to destroy herself as well as the family.
Shutterstock
09/05/14
We stood outside the entrance doors. Three to six months at the minimum, I had been told. I was numb, emotionless, tired from this long crusade. This is her fourth rehab in nine months. I wanted to be on my way home, speeding down the NJ Turnpike, done with the dispassionate and tedious process of admitting my teenager to yet another rehab. Craving a morsel of fresh hope before I walked away, I told her,
"Haley, you have to go down this road alone. I can't come with you. Please get better this time, please,” I pleaded with her.
“I am by your side no matter what," I tell her.
She looked at me spaced out, distracted. Her dark brown eyes were glazed over and bloodshot.
"How much longer is this gonna take? I'm exhausted and crashed. I need my midday dose. I can't be late. The nurses in the hospital were right on time. I can't wait any longer."
I knew better. There’s no room in her mind right now for heartfelt sentiments. But I couldn't help myself.
It's the Ritalin she manipulated some doctor into prescribing that she is itching for. Smart. Feed the junkie drugs. But she had managed, as she always does.
Finally, a peppy twenty-something girl called us into a small, dark room to go over the paperwork. The process was very straightforward and impersonal.
“Sign here, sign there, here's your copy,” she instructed me, whizzing through the stack of paperwork like a well oiled machine.
I waited for the part where I could tell her about Haley’s history and my reasons for making her start treatment once again. It didn't happen.
It felt irresponsible to not have a conversation about her condition but she instructed me that the therapist would be in touch on Monday.
“She handles all that, I just do admissions,” she informed me.
After all, she was transported there in an ambulance straight from her two week detox stay at a local hospital. Haley was carted out of the ambulance with her Coach purse on her lap and looking like a space cadet. She had just thrown a fit as they were prepping her to leave the hospital. It was another panic attack. What a really solid attempt at gaining just one more dosage of Klonopin before the drought started.
After the paperwork, the admissions robot announced it was time for goodbyes. Detached, Haley gave me a weak, halfhearted hug.
Walking away from her, I felt a surge of guilt but I had to keep going. I forced myself to show no sign of hesitation. Despite wanting to look back, I didn’t. My daughter could smell weakness on me from a mile away. I focused on getting to the car. The blackout period had started now and I couldn't see her or talk to her for seven days. A much needed temporary reprieve.
Haley is a challenging case no matter where she goes. Her long, lean body, sharply intelligent mind and charming people skills make her a force to be reckoned with. She's a 17-year-old mini doctor, very well read on every kind of controlled substance and antidepressant and their effects on specific neurotransmitters in the brain. At times I've been embarrassed by the breadth of her knowledge. Sitting in her cave of a room drawing diagrams and making detailed lists, she devours any piece of scientific information on drugs and their interactions, side effects and symptoms needed to obtain them. She hides her knowledge disguised under the perfect recipe of symptoms to get the coveted blue piece of paper that meant her temporary mental freedom and ability to trade for other drugs.
Xanax is her drug of choice but it’s clear from reading her texts that she does not discriminate and will take anything that will give her a buzz or get her high. Cough medicine, alcohol, decongestants are all on deck if controlled substances aren't available immediately. She seems desperate, begging the druggies to please hook her up, she’s ready to sell her soul for one more pill.
Haley was expert at complaining incessantly about every kind of physical ailment that could aid her in obtaining a drug that could take her away from her inner pain. This was a hollow, dark anguish that manifested itself in uncontrollable moods, compulsive lying and nonstop manipulation of every person in her life. In a bizarre dichotomy, it was this wretched, unshakable teenage angst coupled with her motivation for success that made her the junkie she is.
The large high school in our town evidently supplied a buffet of every kind of illegal substance with an emphasis on prescription drugs. Benzos, opiates, stimulants, marijuana, it was all a connection or two, at the most, away. Even without actual friends, it was that easy to obtain the stuff. The high school was a booming black market for drugs despite police on duty at all times.
The sad fact is that my daughter had few real friends; she lived an endless cycle of brief acquaintances never lasting more than a few months.
Earlier this year Haley fell into lust with a short, twerpy boy (a dead ringer for Eminem), one grade below her. Apparently, Jason was well equipped with major drug hookups that compensated for his lack of charisma.
Andrew, Haley’s father, was mostly nonexistent in her world. He showed short, intermittent bursts of interest in her occasionally. That part of my daughter’s life was a continual heartbreak. It definitely played into the birth of her habit in a major way. Sadly, I had to take stock of my own failures and missteps, too. Like most parents, I have to shoulder some blame in the addiction. I won’t ever stop questioning myself and my responsibility in this nightmare that became her life.
Andrew and I had Haley at nineteen. Andrew was an immature, ambitionless kid who I briefly believed I could help and possibly change. At 20, my naive idealism was never so alive and kicking. Having had a disappointing childhood left me longing for a family of my own. I wanted to be the mom I always wanted.
Haley had spent two months at the third rehab in West Palm Beach. I was adamant that I had to have her in the best institution I could possibly find. Foolishly, I believed she should get well in a beautiful, sunny place to escape the nasty New Jersey winter and the environment she had corrupted herself in. I never wanted rehab to feel like jail time or a punishment. I only hoped that the right spot would be her turning point. I had been advised repeatedly to send her to a local institution, but none of them seemed nice enough. I borrowed every dollar I could to get her there. I was beside myself that I had to let her go. The facility was meeting her at the gate in Florida. I couldn't afford the plane ticket to go with her.
Much to my disappointment, Haley played me again. Full of relief and excitement, I had picked her up at the airport in Atlantic City. Though she looked healthier and had gained a few pounds, sadly, she seemed high. She had probably stolen some pills or shoplifted cough syrup from the airport gift shop.
Haley's drug crisis interfered with my shaky career despite my best attempts to go to work and close the door on my chaotic personal life. There was a constant stream of phone calls, therapists, doctors, nurses who all needed to talk to me now. I was nervous all the time, in a habitual state of sleepless adrenaline. I was drowning before I even brought my dire financial situation into the picture as well as my two younger children and husband.
Inside my heart, it was a struggle to love her. I couldn’t be resigned to the fact that my little girl was gone. There has to be a way for this to stick, for Haley to genuinely buy into the treatment, I keep telling myself. This had been the real roadblock all along. She faked her way through the last three rehabs, feeding doctors and therapists exactly what they needed to hear to send her on her way. Returning home, I would hear the same meaningless declarations that yes, she had learned her lesson. This time is so different than the last.
“Trust me, trust me, mommy. Please, I promise you.” She was so emphatic that this was it.
Within days of returning from her 62 day stay in Florida, she was texting her old hookups.
“Dude, I did my time. Ridiculous! I even learned how to get drugs in rehab,” she bragged.
Once again I found her barricading herself in her room telling me the same whiny sob story. She was just so worn out, not sleeping at all, just had to have some rest. I bought into it because I believed there was no way she still wanted to be a junkie after three rehabs and nonstop therapy. I wanted this horrendous gut wrenching chapter in our lives behind us with confidence. But it wasn't.
I had rummaged through her room, an unwanted duty I had to do. The broken Adderall capsules, the Xanax hidden in a mint tin, the empty baggies, the stench of alcohol in her trash, the empty bottle of Nyquil was evidence I couldn't ignore. She was worse than before Florida.
Haley doesn't understand her own mortality. She could easily be one careless combination of substances away from death. If she was home, I lived in a continuing state of fear. I realized she had to be in long term treatment, I couldn't allow her to destroy herself as well as the family. I had already been fired from my job for absences and poor performance. I badly needed the insurance for her treatment. My life was in shambles, I had lost control of it in my quest to keep her sober and finally fix the problem.
So there was no option. Haley had to go a fourth time. This time, I sent her to an institution an hour away, in a rural tucked away north Jersey town. There were no bells and whistles. It didn’t matter. There weren’t many choices left. Knowing that this was long term, I wanted to be able to see her as much as possible.
But, inevitably history has this wicked habit of repeating itself. I got the phone call from the therapist on her third day there.
“Haley isn't acclimating to the environment. She's not making friends and alienating herself with a bad attitude,” the therapist informed me.
She insisted Haley had to speak to me despite the blackout period.
"This place is an absolute nightmare, I cannot stay, Mommy. You would die if you could see how dirty it is and the gross, trashy people here. I have low blood sugar, they won't let me eat. I'm telling you, I gave it my best. I'm sorry, it makes the second rehab (a mental hospital that she was transferred to because of suicidal gestures) look like a country club. Get me out of here now," she sobbed.
I spoke calmly to her. I had grace unbeknownst to me, in that moment.
“I love you dearly but you are staying,” I told her. "We are out of options and you will die if you come home. That’s all there is to it, Haley.”
She said nothing, just threw the phone down.
I asked the therapist how long it usually takes for these challenging cases to finally concede.
“They're all different but usually they break,” she told me with ease.
It's the instinctual love I have for Haley that keeps me believing that she can and will get better. I tell her my love for her is unconditional. "I won’t give up on you. Love is when you don’t leave.”
Haley doesn’t understand this now. She will one day.
There is an awesome life ahead of her, full of dreams she hasn’t realized yet. College is a year away. Keeping her alive and safe long enough for her to see that and actually want it for herself is all that matters. I’m petrified of the alternative.
Today, I want her sobriety much more than she does, if she does at all. I’m buying time until the moment of clarity hits her. I have to believe with all my heart that the footprint of her life hasn't even taken shape yet. I pray.
Meredith O'Brien is a writer and runner living in New Jersey.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)