Monday Thoughts 7/05/2021 Inbox

“The way you choose to think and speak about yourself (to yourself and others), IS A CHOICE!  You may have spent your whole life talking about yourself in a negative way, but that doesn’t mean you have to continue that path.”  ~~Miya Yamanouchi “Self-stigma can be just a big a problem as the negative attitudes of others.” ~~Megan A. Arroll “We were free of self-judgment when we were babies, and yet at some point, we developed a sensitivity that taught us to react with self-consciousness and negative self-talk.”  ~~Elaina Marie #2 Negative thoughts destroy only myself. My first conscious sober act is to reduce negativity in my life. In our WFS Program booklet it states “As women in recovery, we are learning that negative thoughts can be harmful.  We were probably ruled by negativity for long periods of time, which took the form of defensiveness and fears.”  When I first got sober, it was difficult to understand that I had or even felt fear but as my brain and body healed, glimpses of negativity began to be uncovered. Unbeknownst to me, I had become my own worst critic. Oftentimes I made up what I thought someone else might be negatively thinking or saying and simply walloped myself. It didn’t take long to create a negative thought pattern and alcohol easily cemented this into habit.  I was self-destructing yet didn’t see or even feel it.  Sobriety and Statement #2 in action helped change that course and laid a foundation to build healthy self-talk and awareness. This is the beauty of the WFS New Life Program.  We begin to make small changes, even with just our thoughts, and we are able to reduce negativity while embracing sobriety and recovery.  Here are 4 ways to aid in reducing negativity from Jennice Vilhauer, PhD: 1. Notice the critic. To gain control over your inner critic you have too first be aware of it. During every conscious moment we have an inner dialogue with ourselves. Much of our thinking is so automatic and happening so rapidly that we barely notice it before we move on to the next thought. Making the conscious effort to slow down and pay more attention to your thoughts will help you notice when the critic is present. Your emotions will also cue you to the presence of the critic. Negative emotions such as doubt, guilt, shame, and worthlessness are almost always signs of the critic at work. A good exercise to try for one week is to simply keep an inner critic log, either in a small notebook or on your phone. Every time you notice yourself being self-critical, just note two or three words about the situation—got up late, meeting with boss, fight with mom, lunch choices—and what the criticism was—I’m lazy, I’m a bad employee, I’m not a good daughter, I have no self-control. Once you are aware of the critical voice, you will be in a position to stand up to it. 2. Separate the critic from you. The inner critic doesn’t want you to notice it. It thrives best when you mistake it for being part of your authentic self. However, you weren’t born with an inner critic. The critic is a voice that you have internalized based on outside influences and learning, such as other people’s criticism, expectations, or standards. One way to separate from the critic is to give it a name. Any name will work; to add some levity you might even try using a silly name like The Old Hag. What is important is that by separating it from your own identity, you are on your way to freeing yourself from its influence. 3. Talk back. Talking back to your inner critic is an important part of taking away its power. Simply telling the critic you don’t want to hear what it has to say begins to give you a sense of choice in the matter. When you hear the inner critic start to speak, tell it to go away. Tell it you refuse to listen. Tell it that you know it is a liar. Tell it you are choosing instead to be kind to yourself. 4. Replace the critic. The best way to defeat the critic is to have an even stronger ally on your side. You need to grow an inner voice that acts as your own best friend. In order to do this, you need to start noticing the good things about yourself. No matter what the inner critic has told you, you do have positive traits, although it may take you some effort to retrain yourself to see them. Because of the way our brain works, we all have an automatic selective filtering system that will look for evidence in our environment that matches up with whatever we believe to be true about ourselves. We will then disregard other evidence to the contrary. If you are always saying to yourself, I am an idiot, you might actually do a lot of smart things, but you will still zero in on the small mistakes you make (e.g., locking your keys in the car). You will fixate on those things because they match up with what you say to yourself. To break this automatic tendency, you have to first make the deliberate effort to say something different to yourself and then actively search for evidence that the new statement is true. When you hear your critic saying I am an idiot, talk back and tell the critic that isn’t true. Then replace the statement with something you know is true, such as, Sometimes I do smart things, and come up with as many examples as you can to support this new statement. The critic doesn’t like to be wrong. The more examples you come up with to support your alternate view, the less it will come around.   Hugzzz Karen Hi 4C Women, Years ago, Nina and I presented a workshop on The Inner Critic at the WFS conference followed by Be Your Own Best Friend the next year.   Nina always told me that we teach what we need to learn.  I must admit that each workshop we presented together became a life lesson for me.  In doing research and sharing ideas, I realized that doing these workshops became a hidden gift of learning for me.  After The Inner Critic workshop, I created a name for my inner critic and that name was and is, Ed, my ex-husband.  After way too many years of being intimidated, feeling inadequate, I feel empowered to tell him he has no power over me when negative thoughts begin to take over.  He may not be the one who said the exact negative words, but he is the last one that left an imprint on my thinking that I was unworthy, invisible, unlovable.  I jokingly ask, what is he going to do – divorce me?   I visualize him sitting on my shoulder when a negative, untruthful definition of me begins creeping in.  I recognize them as old false messages.  I will tell him to shut up and flick him off my shoulder, followed by a smile. Through my growing up years the feeling of intimidation was quite strong and in reflection, I wonder if I chose a man to marry that would challenge those deep feelings of not good enough.  I believed messages from people in authority, my biological father or those my age who judged me.  Because I didn’t have the tools to reject these negative comments, I automatically believed them as true.  It took WFS, therapy and belief in my own capabilities to stop the negative thoughts roaring in my head.  I have come to the conclusion that thoughts unexpressed create negativity for me.  If a boundary has been crossed, a put down of my character or condescending words, I have the choice to discuss it then or when I am ready or sit in silence with the false negative definition of me starting to grow.  The situation may not be safe to express your feelings and that is when the support of WFS sisters comes into play along with positive self-talk.  Sometimes I just say “OUCH!” to the person and that is a universal word that means whatever you said or did caused me pain.  No long explanation, just ouch. I encourage you to practice the 4 ways Karen shared to aid in overcoming negative thoughts that destroy only yourself.  Let’s face it, many people are so unaware of the hurt they cause, go on their merry way and we are left with the pain.  We are in a powerful position to change our thoughts, to practice positive self-talk, to address the person in a calm but direct manner and to have the support of 4C women in this wonderful New Life Program. Bonded in reducing negativity and empowering our personal self-love thoughts, Dee

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New Virtual Group Offering From Breakthrough Inbox

Join Breakthrough for a new virtual group offering this July Stress Management Through Mindful Awareness Wednesday, July 21st 10:00 AM - 12:30 PM There is a disconnect that occurs naturally when the mind is in a different location than the body. The mind is often in the past or in the future, yet the body is always in the present moment. This workshop will explore how stress impacts us physically, emotionally, and relationally. One of the most important aspects of managing harmful stress is to first be fully aware of how it is impacting you. Mindfulness leads to self-awareness and can dramatically reduce the impact of stress, which can allow you to experience a healthier life. Join us for a better understanding of the healing powers for mindfulness. Register Now Presenter: Chris O'Reilly Christopher is the Executive Director of Caron Outpatient Treatment Center in Wyomissing, PA. He joined Caron Treatment Centers in 2004 and has held numerous clinical leadership positions within the organization. Christopher’s experience and inspirational leadership will guide the development and delivery of exceptional outpatient services in Berks County. Christopher is also an adjunct professor at West Chester University, teaching mind, body health. About Breakthrough Breakthrough at Caron’s vision is to support individuals and couples to achieve their best selves, lead healthy and productive lives, and create supportive and loving relationships that give them strength, confidence, and a foundation for personal and professional success. Anyone seeking to examine and improve relational patterns, including those in recovery from a substance use disorder and those impacted by a loved one’s substance use, may benefit from the workshops. For more information, contact our Breakthrough Team at 800-678-2332  |  BreakthroughEvents@caron.org

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Independence From

Independence from Drugs & Alcohol Independence Day is annually celebrated on July 4 and is often known as the Fourth of July. It is the anniversary of the publication of the declaration of independence from Great Britain in 1776. This Sunday the United States celebrates the 245th anniversary. Independence is so important, yet can be ever elusive. A person could struggle to break from a country, a relationship, a habit, or a drug addiction. People can find it particularly difficult to free themselves from drug addiction because of various barriers this independence day with so many parties or barbeques in which beer and other alcoholic drinks are likely to be free-flowing. Depression can also set in on people who abuse drugs and alcohol. Mentally, drug and alcohol abuse can make a person entirely dependent, and make them practically a slave to those substances. Their cravings start to dictate every aspect of their lives. People could become so focused on finding and using drugs that they neglect every other aspect in their lives, even the most important ones and problems set in as result creating great depression for an individual. Those struggling with addiction might want to take a moment to think about what independence from drugs and alcohol addiction actually looks like. At Narconon Ojai our students in recovery are in pursuit of a Drug free and Happy Life. Being drug free 100% gives the individual the ability to interact with his family properly without the worry of problems and withdrawal symptom that are physically debilitating on an individuals body and mind. If you or a loved one need help with drug or alcohol addiction call our team at Narconon Ojai at 805-798-8040. Click here to register now Our facility, located in Ojai California, is the only premier Narconon which is tailored to meet the needs of personalized care. Here are some features of our property: Maximum of 6 students at a time making it private and personalized care. Chef that cooks organic meals, three times a day with prepared foods that accommodate all dietary needs 20,000 Sq Ft property, overlooking 40 acres of open mountainous land for a panoramic view of Ventura County. One-on-one care and attention from technical and administrative staff for students needs. A distraction free environment to remove all barriers to students getting through the trials of addiction. You can also check out more of the successes of our center by going to our website: www.narcononojai.org  Discover great opportunities of saving lives and more! Stay connected with us: Read our Blog! © 2017 Narconon Ojai. All Rights Reserved. Narconon and the Narconon logo are trademarks and service marks owned by the Association for Better Living and Education International and are used with its permission. Narconon Ojai is a 501(c)(3) non-profit public benefit organization.

About us Narconon uses proven rehabilitation technology that gets to the problem at its source—and provides a path for long-term success. For nearly 50 years, Narconon has saved those who were thought lost to substance abuse forever. Week by week. Year by year. Our success is measured in our ever-growing number of graduates who now lead new lives free from drugs. At Narconon, we look to address the causes of addiction—to get at what drove a person to drugs in the first place. The goal is a drug-free life. Contact us: Narconon Ojai P.O. Box 1509 Ojai, CA 93024 United States Get Help Now CALL 1-805-798-8040 Download the Narconon Ojai Program Brochure It is because of the help of our supporters we are able to continue to save lives in the area of drug addiction. With your assistance this group can contribute to a world without drugs. It is no small task but together we are fighting and changing the world one person at a time. As a non-profit organization we require the assistance of our field to raise funds for our center which will go towards things like scholarships, supplies, retrofitting, and expansion of the center. We are asking that the friends of Narconon contribute a gift, a pledge to support our work, so we can continue to help people from all over the world to handle their addiction. A donation of $20.00, $50,00, $500 or even $1,000 is appreciated. You can even do your own custom amount. Please click on the donate button to contribute to our cause. Warmest Regards, Fabian Padro Executive Director Narconon Ojai Get Help Now CALL 1-805-798-8040 Download the Narconon Ojai Program Brochure Fabian Padro – Helping Others Live Drug Free Lives Running a rehab center might not be first and foremost on your list of professions to pursue. However, Fabian Padro – with a background of entrepreneurship and business – became the Executive Director of Narconon Ojai, the most exclusive Narconon in the world. This unique rehab has a completely drug free withdrawal, supported with large doses of vitamins, minerals and nutrients to get the body stable. Listen Now Click the link below to start tour of Narconon Ojai: Click Here Help.org Names the Best Drug and Alcohol Rehab Centers in Santa Barbara Help.org, a trusted online resource for individuals who struggle with addiction and their loved ones, has announced the Best Rehab Facilities in Santa Barbara, CA for 2021. Narconon Ojai makes the list for top rehab centers. Click her to read full article