 Women for Sobriety, Inc. |
| "Adjustments keep me moving forward while affirmations assist in creating the pathway." |
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“The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.” -F.D. Roosevelt
“Only one thing registers on the subconscious mind: practice. What you practice is what you manifest.” -Grace Spear
“It’s the repetition of…affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen.” -Claude M. Bristol
“Practice makes permanent.” -Bobby Robson
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Statement #12, “I am a competent woman and have much to give life.”
This is what I am and I shall know it always.
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+ Karen’s Perspective +
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Repetition. This word has made such a difference in my life. In the past, repeated drinking instilled a feeling of failure and inability. I was unable to comprehend this while under the influence and I clung to doubt and negativity. Over time, this became a deeply held conviction and I truly believed that I was incapable of doing anything. My identity spiraled downwards; the more I used alcohol, the less of me there was.
Sobriety and Statement #12 in action challenges and changes old belief systems and reinstates a sense of worth. It is in the continuing practice of the WFS Program that brings a sparkle to life. Insight, ability and connection unfold when affirming ones’ self.
Beginning with saying “I am a competent woman,” I challenged the old view that was developed when drinking. At first it felt awkward to say this out loud. I liked writing it down better, so I did both. I was slowly teaching myself about my own value. I was rewriting my life and, at the same time, rewiring my brain.
Instead of saying “I can’t,” I began to say, “I will try.” Soon I was able to understand that I wasn’t a failure or a mistake and instead know that I had the ability to try and try again. I would learn something with each attempt. Soon my affirmations took on a more definite route and I began to say to myself that “I am lovable” and/or “I am filled with courage.”
I simply adore those moments in our meetings, whether online or face to face, when we introduce ourselves and say, “I am a competent woman” (or capable, caring, compassionate). It is astonishing to watch a woman for the first time say this and see that excitement in her eyes; she lights up the entire room and there is a definite energy shift!
Statement #12 is intertwined within every aspect of my life today. It continues to assist me in believing in who I am and where I am going. Do I still doubt myself or my abilities? Of course. The difference is that I no longer barricade myself within a fortress of failure. Adjustments keep me moving forward, while affirmations assist in creating the pathway. Hugzzz, Karen
- Do you have any outdated belief systems that need to be addressed?
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+ Dee’s Insights +
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Hi 4C Women, I found a cardboard box in my bedroom closet and in it was an envelope marked “very personal.” Since I moved here over 9 years ago, I was curious as to what was contained inside. Oh my, if only I had Statement #12 back in 1967! What I wrote brought tears to my eyes. My lack of self-worth was deeply saddening. I had been married less than a year and, until I read this letter to my ex again, I just didn’t remember how insecure, unworthy and unlovable I felt. Seeing it in writing after all these years, just helped me to understand how much I have overcome and that being able to say I love myself is quite remarkable considering most of my 27 year marriage was filled with these unlovable feelings.
Over the past few Mondays, we have been addressing the importance of self-worth, self-love and self-esteem. Since I have been sober for a long time, it seems these messages have re-introduced the woman I once was and I am so happy to have said goodbye to her. Joyful that sobriety and therapy gave me the ability to uncover and discover the 4C woman I am today.
I’ve been saying that nothing can take away all the hard work I have accomplished and reading that letter of almost 49 years ago reaffirmed it. There were many letters after that but what struck me is that I was married less than a year and 22 years old. It took a lot of courage to strike out on my own after 27 years of marriage; yet, I survived - the fear of being a bag lady with a shopping cart for storage did not materialize! I continued to learn, to become self-assured, decisive and strong enough to learn from my mistakes and there were plenty of them. I share this because I want each of you to have hope if you are willing to face your challenges, to let go of the fear of making a mistake and learn from each one, to know it is in your power to love yourself, to feel free, joyful and in charge of your life. There is no timetable on change. You can be 20 or 70. All that matters is the willingness and desire for it to happen. As Oprah says in her new commercial, “If not now, when?” –Dee
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Thank you, Karen and Dee, for your words of encouragement and inspiration to start off our week! ~Becky Fenner, WFS Director
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