Living Free Every Day®

Today's Scripture

"Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; reverently fear and worship the Lord and turn [entirely] away from evil." - Proverbs 3:5-7 AMP

Thoughts for Today

If you are trying to help a loved one with a life-controlling problem, you must first reach a point of accepting the reality of their situation. Only then will you feel free to turn your loved one over to God. This is a time when you are able to detach yourself from the one you love so much. You will be able to truly lean on and trust in the Lord—and stop depending on yourself to fix your struggling loved one.

Consider this …

The prodigal son's father was not an enabler. He allowed his son to be responsible for his own actions (read Luke 15:11-32). The rebellious son asked to receive an early inheritance and then squandered it all on wild living. He then had nothing—he was hired to feed pigs and found himself yearning for their food. Even at this point, no one reached out to rescue him from the consequences of his behavior (verse 16). And so … he "came to his senses" (verse 17). He finally was ready to take responsibility for his behavior. He showed humility and took positive action (verses 18-20). He returned home and confessed his sin toward his father and heaven.

This father had faith that his son would return. Although he showed compassion, there is no record of his enabling his son. He allowed the son to be responsible for his own actions. Do you love the struggling person in your life enough to let go … and lean on God?

Prayer

Father, I have tried leaning on my own understanding. I know now that I must let go of my loved one, allow him to suffer the natural consequences of his behavior, and lean on you. Help me fully trust in your way and your time. In Jesus' name …

These thoughts were drawn from …

Living Free by Jimmy Ray Lee, D. Min. and Dan Strickland, M. Div. This updated version is presented in two parts. It offers information for anyone who either has a life-controlling problem or has a loved one with a life-controlling problem:

Part 1: Learning to Live Free

• Defining Life-Controlling Problems
• Mastered and Trapped by Issues
• Walls of Protection
• Family Influences
• Helping or Harming?

Part 2: Helping Others to Live Free through Small Groups

• The Small Group Strategy
• Effective Facilitation and Communication
• Launching a Living Free Ministry 

 

 

PO Box 22127 ~ Chattanooga, Tennessee 37421 ~ 423-899-4770
© Living Free 2007. Living Free is a registered trademark. Living Free Every Day devotionals may be reproduced for personal use. When reproduced to share with others, please acknowledge the source as Living Free, Chattanooga, TN. Must have written permission to use in any format to be sold. Permission may be requested by sending e-mail to info@LivingFree.org.

Living Free Every Day®

Today's Scripture

"Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me, for I am gentle (meek) and humble (lowly) in heart, and you will find rest (relief and ease and refreshment and recreation and blessed quiet) for your souls. For My yoke is wholesome (useful, good—not harsh, hard, sharp, or pressing, but comfortable, gracious, and pleasant), and My burden is light and easy to be borne." - Matthew 11:29-30 AMP
Thoughts for Today
Codependent people often feel guilty because they believe that they did something to cause their loved one to go out of control. They see that their efforts have not cured the person, and they think that somehow if they try harder, they can control the person with the life-controlling problem. The misbelief that we can "fix" other people leads to a painful cycle of failure and loss of self-worth.
If you are trying to assist a friend who has become codependent, help him or her understand these truths:

• They did not cause their loved one's problem. Their loved one is responsible for the choices that have led to addiction, no matter what the circumstances may be.
• They cannot control their loved one's behaviors. Trying to control the struggling person through manipulation, domination and guilt only leads to a greater loss of energy. They cannot fix their loved one—only God can do that.
• They cannot cure their loved one. Encourage them to give their anxiety to the Lord. He doesn't want us to suffer through this kind of struggle. He has promised us that his burden is light.

Consider this …
Codependents need encouragement to examine their own lives. Because of their own delusions, they usually cannot see their addiction to another person. It takes friends from the outside to point out this reality to them. You can help your codependent friends by

• Taking them to a Living Free Concerned Persons group
• Encouraging them to focus on Christ instead of on their loved one
• Modeling an honest relationship with respect and boundaries
• Care-fronting delusion
• Encouraging them to accept responsibility for their own actions
• Praying for them

Prayer
Father, guide me in helping my friend. Help her understand that she can't fix her loved one … that your yoke is easy and your burden is light … that she can trust you with her loved one. In Jesus' name …
These thoughts were drawn from …
Living Free by Jimmy Ray Lee, D. Min. and Dan Strickland, M. Div. This updated version is presented in two parts. It offers information for anyone who either has a life-controlling problem or has a loved one with a life-controlling problem:
Part 1: Learning to Live Free

• Defining Life-Controlling Problems
• Mastered and Trapped by Issues
• Walls of Protection
• Family Influences
• Helping or Harming?

Part 2: Helping Others to Live Free through Small Groups

• The Small Group Strategy
• Effective Facilitation and Communication

Launching a Living Free Ministry

 

 

PO Box 22127 ~ Chattanooga, Tennessee 37421 ~ 423-899-4770
© Living Free 2007. Living Free is a registered trademark. Living Free Every Day devotionals may be reproduced for personal use. When reproduced to share with others, please acknowledge the source as Living Free, Chattanooga, TN. Must have written permission to use in any format to be sold. Permission may be requested by sending e-mail to info@LivingFree.org.

Survey: Almost One-Fourth of 12th Graders Have Smoked Marijuana in Past Month

By Join Together Staff | December 19, 2012 | 3 Comments | Filed in Drugs & Youth

Almost one-quarter of the nation’s high school seniors say they have smoked marijuana in the past month, and just over 36 percent admit to using the drug in the past year, according to the 2012 Monitoring the Future Survey. Researchers at the University of Michigan who conducted the annual survey found 6.5 percent of high school seniors smoked marijuana daily.

Among 10th graders, 3.5 percent say they use marijuana daily, while 17 percent report using the drug in the past month, and 28 percent in the past year. “We are increasingly concerned that regular or daily use of marijuana is robbing too many young people of their potential to achieve and excel in school or other aspects of life,” National Institute on Drug Abuse Director Dr. Nora D. Volkow said in a news release. “THC, a key ingredient in marijuana, alters the connectivity of the hippocampus a brain area related to learning and memory. In addition, we know from recent research that marijuana use that begins during adolescence can lower IQ and contribute to reduced cognitive abilities during adulthood.”

The survey of approximately 45,000 eighth, 10th and 12th graders found fewer students perceive marijuana as harmful, compared with previous years, Bloomberg.com reports. Researchers found 41.7 percent of eighth graders view occasional use of marijuana as dangerous, and 66.9 percent view regular use as harmful. These rates are the lowest since the survey began asking this age group about their perceptions of marijuana in 1991.

Among 12th graders, 20.6 percent view occasional marijuana use as risky, the lowest rate since 1983. Among this age group, 44.1 percent view regular use as harmful, the lowest rate since 1979.

“Yet another year of increases in childhood marijuana use is deeply disturbing as these can spell real trouble for young kids later on,” Steve President and CEO of The Partnership at Drugfree.org said in a statement. “Heavy use of marijuana – particularly beginning in adolescence – brings the risk of serious problems and our own data have shown it can lead to involvement with alcohol and other drugs as well. Kids who begin using drugs or alcohol as teenagers are more likely to struggle with substance use disorders when compared to those who start using later in life. This is of particular concern because we know that 90 percent of addictions have roots in the teenage years.”

The survey found use of other illicit drugs continued declining among high school students.

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Living Free Every Day®

Today's Scripture

"They traded the truth about God for a lie. So they worshiped and served the things God created instead of the Creator himself, who is worthy of eternal praise! Amen." - Romans 1:25 NLT
Thoughts for Today
When we become obsessed with controlling someone else's behavior, we have a problem called codependency. Codependents center their lives on the person they are trying to help, and as a result they exchange the truth of God for a lie, worshiping and serving a created person (the struggling loved one) rather than God the Creator.
Codependency is harmful because the person becomes mastered by a loved one's problem or becomes a loved one's master (playing God).
Generally, people are not aware that they are enabling and becoming codependent. They are trying to do the right thing, but too often they feel guilty because their efforts are not good enough to make the person they love change. Children are especially vulnerable to this distorted, guilt-ridden thinking.
Consider this …
Christians can be unusually susceptible to codependency. Sometimes when attempting to love others as Christ has commanded us, we slip into enabling behaviors that lead to codependent relationships. The issue of codependency should be approached with balance. According to the apostle Paul, the body of Christ should be interdependent (see Romans 12:7-16 and 1 Corinthians 12:12-27). We need to avoid the extremes of selfish independence and codependence.
Prayer
Father, teach me to love and help people without going to the extreme of trying to fix or control them. Help me to always put you first and trust you to guide me in loving and helping others. In Jesus' name …
These thoughts were drawn from …
Living Free by Jimmy Ray Lee, D. Min. and Dan Strickland, M. Div. This updated version is presented in two parts. It offers information for anyone who either has a life-controlling problem or has a loved one with a life-controlling problem:
Part 1: Learning to Live Free

• Defining Life-Controlling Problems
• Mastered and Trapped by Issues
• Walls of Protection
• Family Influences
• Helping or Harming?

Part 2: Helping Others to Live Free through Small Groups

• The Small Group Strategy
• Effective Facilitation and Communication

Launching a Living Free Ministry

 

 

PO Box 22127 ~ Chattanooga, Tennessee 37421 ~ 423-899-4770
© Living Free 2007. Living Free is a registered trademark. Living Free Every Day devotionals may be reproduced for personal use. When reproduced to share with others, please acknowledge the source as Living Free, Chattanooga, TN. Must have written permission to use in any format to be sold. Permission may be requested by sending e-mail to info@LivingFree.org.

Ways to Give Back		December 18, 2012

Dear Joseph, For more than 20 years, Join Together has been the nation’s leader in providing free, high-quality addiction prevention and treatment information to communities nationwide. It also has operated widely used self-screening and brief intervention websites for substance abuse problems and advocated for evidence-based public policy. Thanks to our ongoing collaboration with the Boston University School of Public Health, The Partnership at Drugfree.org continues the legacy of Join Together’s efforts, but we need your help.     It takes 4 staff and nearly 300 hours a month to keep you in-the-know about the latest drug, alcohol and tobacco news every day. Your loyal support ensures that we can continue to deliver this valuable service. Here are three simple ways you can give back:   Comment and Share: Do you agree or disagree with the latest Join Together headlines? Do you have any expertise or experiences to share? We invite you to comment on our articles and let your voice be heard! Plus, keep your friends, family and colleagues informed by sharing the news on Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn.   Invite: Do you know any individuals or organizations that would benefit from receiving the Join Together eNewsletter? If so, please invite them to sign up here: www.drugfree.org/enewsletters.   Donate: Make your year-end tax deductible donation today to help us enhance and expand Join Together services. Please give as generously as you can...$25, $50, $100, any amount will be welcome and whether you donate as an individual or an organization, any financial contribution is greatly appreciated. Without your support, we cannot get the job done. I hope you will consider getting involved today and help us continue to provide Join Together into 2013 and beyond. Thank you and best wishes for a happy holiday season.   Please make your tax deductible year-end contribution here. Sincerely, Steve Pasierb President & CEO The Partnership at Drugfree.org For questions or comments regarding your donation, please e-mail donations@drugfree.org.