She remembered who she was and the game changed.” ~~Lalah Deliah
“Fear, to a great extent, is born of a story we tell ourselves, and so I chose to tell myself a different story from the one women are told. I decided I was safe. I was strong. I was brave. Nothing could vanquish me. Insisting on this story was a form of mind control, but for the most part it worked.” ~~Cheryl Strayed
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it. ~~Maya Angelou
#12 I am a competent woman, and I have much to give life.
This is what I am, and I shall know it always.
Everywhere you look it seems as if Covid-19 is taking over every conversation. This can instill a sense of fear, especially of the unknown. As our society takes measures to contain and continue on, Statement #12 can be effective in maintaining a sense of balance, strength and ability.
Statement #12 affirms that we are competent women. Jean knew of our strengths; that we are fierce women and able to do what we set our mind to. It begins with a daily repetition of “I am a competent woman.” These empowering words assist in focusing our minds and abilities. No matter the challenge we can rise to meet it.
You are encouraged to focus on self-care during this time of imbalance. Pay attention to what you are feeling and takes steps to self-soothe in ways that instill hope, well-being and comfort. Our WFS Online Forum is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You can access it by clicking on the Community tab on our website or click here https://womenforsobriety.org/community/
Statement #12 Tool: Bring fear to the surface. Is there something that you are afraid of? Bring it out, whether on paper, on the phone or in person. With our tech advances, it can feel uncomfortable to look someone straight in the eye and tell them about our fear. Overcoming this fear begins with examining it under a microscope. Share with someone you are comfortable with. Dive deep into where it originates and be sure to take breaks from the news or social media and spend time outdoors. Find a comfortable spot and inhale. Smell the late winter winds or early spring breezes. Connect with the moment and remember to savor each of your successes. Here are additional resources:
Hugzzz
Karen
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Hi 4C Women,
Karen expressed so well how to redirect our fears in ways to create hope, well-being and comfort. It is wise to take precautions yet it is important to develop a balance in order to utilize our competency to our best advantage.
The tool for bringing fear to the surface was something I have experienced in the WFS group. I feel safe because I know I won’t be judged or told I “shouldn’t” have done that or what I “should” do now. Sharing in a safe environment is sometimes all we need, to say it out loud, to give pause and consider why we made certain choices, and most importantly, to learn from our experiences. This is true for both mistakes and successful outcomes.
A while back, I was reading Dr. Phil’s “Self-Matters” book and he had some insightful questions that reflect Statement #12:
I am best in situations that…
What keeps me going is …?
I changed the wording on this question a little bit to reflect more of Statement #12:
How do your thoughts and attitudes advance and protect your well-being?
Do your thoughts and beliefs get you what you want?
In order to practice and believe that you are a competent woman, I have found that questions which have a more positive slant, work best for me. In the past, it was easy to expound on my faults and mistakes and quickly explain how my negative thoughts and beliefs somehow protected me. To say what I was best in took forever to think of even one, yet alone, two things. It also felt conceited, wrong and false to share out loud. Again, practicing Statement #12 took me out of my comfort zone into finally acknowledging that I am good at many things, that my beliefs and thoughts can get me what I want. It’s knowing what I want that changed my negative thoughts. It’s hard to have a healthy recovery if I kept thinking I was unworthy, a nothing, invisible, unimportant to this world and definitely unlovable. Those thoughts got me nowhere. I wanted to be that competent woman who had much to give life. WFS got me on the road to healthy self-esteem, worthiness, self-respect and self-love. Big lesson is that no matter where you begin this recovery journey, no matter your age, your history, it’s what you are willing to do to be that 4C woman that’s been there all along. Rather than numbing your pain, running from fear, it’s the freedom of creating a New Life that tells you each and every day that you are a competent woman and have much to give life. This is who you are and you shall know it always. Love, Dee
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