Hi 4C Women,
Setting priorities has a lot to do with core values as defined by Cookie Tuminello.
"Core values are the foundation that creates more of what you do want and less of what you don't want in your life. They must be present in your daily actions if you want to be truly at peace with yourself. Core values are who you are right now, not who you think you should be, can be or might be. They define who you are on the "inside" - your core. These values help you define what matters most to you in your life and they are the basis for making better choices for taking better care of yourself."
I think that as we all work towards emotional and spiritual growth, start achieving it, our core values become clear to us and we can continue to make decisions that authentically reflect our core values/priorities.
I was watching an episode of Iyanla, Fix My Life on OWN (Oprah Network). It was about a mother-daughter relationship in need of major healing. When Iyanla said that unhealed people create unhealed situations, I thought of how I struggles with putting my priorities in a proper order when I so wounded. Drinking certaining didn't help the healing process. It numbed, stopped and harmed any necessary healing I needed in order to grow my emotional and spiritual life. Her question was to figure out what you need help with, because if you don't ask for what you need, the need gets bigger.
I realize I drank because I had unmet needs that I had no idea of how to meet or could even identify them at that time. Over the years, I have also learned that as I identify my needs and meet them, other needs start to appear. WFS has taught me that there is always room for emotional and spiritual growth to take place as life presents new challenges. Knowing that lessens my fear and cuts short the negative self-talk that I "should" be able to handle any situation after all this time.
In order to determine if you are using your valuable time and energy that includes your core values, make a list of what matters most to you. Remember, be completely honest with what you value and not what you believe you "should" value. As you reflect on this list, consider if you are prioritizing your life incorporating these values by the choices and decisions you are making. Most importantly, this list is to create awareness, not guilt. Make changes, if necessary, in how you spend your time and energy once you know what your core values are.
Bonded in discovering and living our core values,
4C WFS Member
