Hi 4C Women,
My turning point was hearing Jean speak at the YWCA over 30 years ago. I had just been promoted to Director of the Women's Center Dept and heard about Jean and her empowering recovery program. Part of the YW's mission statement is the empowerment of women and girls. I thought this was a perfect match and I so wanted to help other women. As I drove her back to the hotel after her speaking engagement, I asked her if she thought I had a problem. I can still her words echo in my ear - If you have to ask, you do! I already knew that, yet was hoping she would be part of my denial plan. She was way too smart to engage in my foolish denial scheme. I wanted to be in charge of my life and the first step was to stop drinking. My goal was to become a moderator and I am grateful to this very day that I accomplished that goal and continue to moderate. What WFS has taught me is that it is not about stopping the addiction, but changing my negative thoughts, my self-loathing, hopelessness to becoming the capable, competent, caring compassionate woman I needed to be in order to be in charge of my well-being.
There is a lot of discussion about core issues that need to be identified if we are to move forward in being empowered. Recovery is a time to uncover those core issues that kept us stuck in the past and that are not our identity today or possibly ever! For me this is the place I started at to understand why I chose to believe only the negative input and discard any positive part of me. It fed my low self-esteem as though I was at a banquet. I had the choice to change that, to learn to love myself. What are the old messages you are still carrying with you today and why do you think that is?
Once you have uncovered your core issues, take the time to define or redefine your values, your purpose, your joy, your vision as a 4C woman. Set boundaries and create a plan that leads you into new possibilities. Sounds so exciting. Are you ready and willing to do that?
Finally, how would you define what your New Life means to you? I often think of the words freedom, availability, choices. As you work on taking charge of your well-being, add more words to your list. Keep it handy and let it be the banquet that feeds your New Life.
Bonded in accepting responsibility,
4C WFS Member
