Monday, July 13, 2015

“Pharmacy Shopping” Involved in Many Deaths From Painkiller Overdoses - Partnership for Drug-Free Kids

Experts Call for Greater Use of Medication-Assisted Treatment for Addiction - Partnership for Drug-Free Kids

Women for Sobriety, Inc.

We all have something we can give.

I was twelve years old when Jean Kirkpatrick was developing Women for Sobriety. I was still relatively normal. I had to laugh at my husband just now because he said Jean was preparing for the future of the pre-teens already on the path of self-destruction. There is some truth to that! When I was young, I had a fragile self-image and self-esteem, amplified by teasing and bullying from peers and my own brothers. I just didn’t seem to fit in anywhere. It would take 25 years for me to find my place in this world. And that gave Jean 25 years to prepare a philosophy and recovery program that would help me find out who I was, what I believed in and what I wanted to accomplish with my life.

At 37 years old, I found Women for Sobriety online and printed out the statements. This was the day I first experienced hope that maybe I could beat my addiction to alcohol. Yes, the thirteen statements of acceptance seem too good to be true; yet, there were thousands of women who had embraced WFS across the world in face to face meetings and their lives were a magnificent testimony to the truth. “Change your thoughts and you will change your world.”

At the time I found WFS, it was a small online group on Yahoo. We moved to MSN groups and, through the generosity of FourCWoman, we found a new private home on the current WFS Online Forum. The online forum has evolved from women posting and informally chatting for support, to a safe and secure place to share even more. Official chats were started and the format closely resembled that of a face to face meeting. The lives of women have become busier and more complicated as they assumed roles that were once held by men only. Our needs changed and our time limited. Going to a face to face that may be hours away was simply not practical. The online chats became a bridge for them to cross; leaving behind a life of disorder and negativity and addiction and entering into a world of women bonded together in overcoming their addictions.

Any group that has as many members as we do needs moderators to manage the online community as a whole with everyone’s best interest forward. Protecting newly sober women, respecting each other’s diverse views and providing 24/7 support in a safe and confidential environment gave birth to guidelines and the rights and responsibilities of the membership. With permission from the Women for Sobriety organization, the online forum is able to use the WFS New Life Program to facilitate the needs of our sisterhood.

Certified Chat Leaders were established years ago to lead online meetings using the same format as a face to face meeting. They help maintain a positive atmosphere and sometimes have to make tough decisions for the sake of the sisters as a whole. I don’t remember exactly when I became a CCL but I have a feeling I might be one of the reasons we have rules about drinking while in the chatroom! Yes, I confess, I was one that would have a bottle of wine and show up in a chat. I wasn’t necessarily unruly, but I was funny and could derail a chat topic. I wasn’t the only one, but the chats were not official formal meetings at the time. Once I was actually sober, I realized how foolish and uncommitted I was at the time. I wanted an easy way to control my drinking, not stop completely. I thought the sisterhood held the key to me getting sober. Silly me, I was the key and the choices I was making. The sisterhood was simply willing to walk it with me and share with me how they used the program to have the life they always wanted.

I grew up in sobriety. I achieved a few years and I applied to become a group moderator and CCL. And, over the years, I find I am the best possible woman I can be when I am involved on the forum on a regular basis. I find that I grow more and discover more about myself every time I led a chat or chaired an online workshop or even write a long, long post.

In an article Jean wrote “Wanting to Belong” she said, “We really don’t know exactly where we fit………We don’t seem to belong anywhere…..But how can we help ourselves through this period? (She is referring to early sobriety, but it can apply at any point in our recoveries.) What can we do to combat these feelings of not belonging in any group or anywhere?”

Her first suggestion was: “Stay with our new friends, because we will again feel comfortable in their presence. Even though our first glow may be dimmed, or even gone, we will again like being with them. We should try to spend far more time with our new friends than with our old friends through this period, for our new friends understand alcoholism and what we are going through. Very often old friends don’t and we are put on the defensive and then become resentful.”

I have been here since October, 1999 and sober since 2000. And I know exactly where I fit, who I am, where I am going and how to get there. CCL’s have done the work necessary to lead others to their New Lives. It is the same work that is in front of all of you. We did not do more or less than another sister fighting her addiction. We are not better than others, we are the same. We are not self-serving but servants. We believe in the value of bonding as like-minded women with the same battles. We carry our scars and reveal them, exposing ourselves in the hope that one of you will connect and find hope. We don’t do these things because we are necessarily proud of our pasts; we do these things because our past led us here and our recovery journey has value. We learned from the past, took what we needed and left the rest. We plan for our futures without fear of failure. We live in today using a philosophy that says I am capable and competent, caring and compassionate. Becoming a CCL encompasses all four characteristics. We do not believe we have it all figured out and that we have all the answers. Rather, we are on the same “discovery of self” mission. We became CCL’s to help others overcome their addictions. But first we had to achieve some sobriety and have a full understanding of the WFS New Life Program so that we could be someone you can trust to lead you, to care for you, to hold your hand as you cross the bridge from addiction to recovery.

When technology began to get a foothold in the world and online groups began forming (AOL and Yahoo), Jean said it would never work. Well, Jean, your faithful members have taken great care to build your program of recovery with the same integrity and commitment you yourself used in the seventies. We carry your message under the guidelines of the WFS organization and promise to grow only in ways that are complimentary to the foundation you laid before us. And, if I may say so myself, “It worked is working!”

We are currently reorganizing the forum by adding a calendar, pinning a list of all online CCL’s on each page, and soon recruiting new CCL’s. The success of the Women for Sobriety organization depends strictly on the generosity of its membership and funds generated during the annual conference auction. If there is no financial support then there may one day be no WFS. In every face to face meeting a basket is passed around. No announcement is made, it is simply there and women will drop in a couple dollars. The Group Moderator sends the funds to headquarters. If sisters donated $2.00 or $5.00 in a basket each week; why not passing a virtual one during a chat? You may see a popped up message asking that you consider making a donation during a chat. You can do that by going to the WFS catalog site at http://www.wfscatalog.org/Donations_c16.htm. It is not easy to ask for money. It is not easy to insert a pop up message in the middle of chat asking for donations. No one likes having to ask; yet, we must. I have met Becky Fenner, WFS’s Director, and I can tell you this, every single thing she does or acquires on behalf of WFS is because she loves this program and she embraces each and every one of us individually every chance she gets through phone calls, emails, the newsletter. She has devoted her life to WFS. I completely trust her with my financial contributions and that the donations are going where they are most needed to continue to maintain and grow the organization.

Yes, we are always asking for donations because we need them, you need them. We are simply giving to ourselves. And, I am going to ask for something else. I am going to ask that you consider applying to become a Certified Chat Leader and, under the direction of a current chat leader, you will be mentored as you discover for yourself the joy of serving and connecting and offering hope to others. The requirements are that you have a good understanding of the WFS philosophy: that you have read Goodbye Hangovers, Hello Life and Turnabout, that you live by the WFS philosophy and apply the 13 statements of the New Life Program in your daily life. You must have at least one year of continuous sobriety. The current CCL’s are also available to mentor those with less than a year to help during chats as greeters. Regular chatters know how formal chat meetings go and many are more than qualified to offer their leadership for an hour a week.

Maybe a financial contribution is simply not possible for you at this time and that is okay. Some say time is money and nothing is free. I say that some things you just can’t buy and that is the rewarding new lives we help foster comes from the willing hearts of the sisters that have gone before you. There isn’t enough money in the world to pay for what I have been given, for what my husband and children have been given. There are not enough words. And right now we don’t have enough CCL’s or formal online chats to help carry the bonded sisterhood into their new lives.

Where were you 40 years ago? Where are you now? Where are you going? Who do you want to become? And what has made the biggest difference in your life once you found WFS?

I was 12, a future recovering alcoholic, with no direction. I am almost 52; I still don’t know where I am going or who I will become, but I know I am going to get there sober and with full knowledge that WFS changed my life and will continue to inspire me to discover all the wonderful parts of myself.

Happy Birthday, Women for Sobriety. Thank you for my New Life!

Love, Julie Orlando (Littlelamb18)

Certified Chat Leader & Certified Moderator

Some of the ways to give your time, talent or treasure….

« Financial Donations: http://www.wfscatalog.org/Donations_c16.htm.

« Donate items for the annual auction and our EBay store (Ship items to WFS’s Office)

« Become a CCL or CM: http://www.womenforsobriety.org/brochure/Moderator%20Application.pdf.

« Offer a percentage of your creations that you may sell in an online store: for example, WFS is on EBay: http://givingworks.ebay.com/charity-auctions/charity/women-for-sobriety-inc/5714/.

« Select WFS as your charitable organization when you shop on Amazon through Amazon Smile: http://smile.amazon.com.

« Write for the Sobering Thoughts Newsletter and send it to contact@womenforsobriety.org.

« Ask your local library if they carry Jean’s books, Turnabout and Goodbye Hangovers, Hello Life… if they don’t, consider donating the books.

« Sign up on http://www.igive.com and designate Women for Sobriety as your favorite non-profit charity. (WFS gets $5 for every new person registering with igive.com!)

Email: contact@womenforsobriety.org * Tel: 215-536-8026 * Fax: 215-538-9026

http://www.womenforsobriety.org * http://www.wfscatalog.org

Saturday, July 11, 2015

July 11 CHP 139 v 16 TWELVE STEPPING WITH STRENGTH FROM THE PSALMS

Your eyes saw my unformed body ,all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

(GODS BIG BOOK)

ordain - To ordain means to order or decree (see decrees of God). It can mean to cause something to happen or to allow it to occur depending on the context. God can ordain things to occur without directly causing them.

Step Three - Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

Whos story are you living ? That is a great question to ask yourself next time you look in the mirror . Most have no idea that God has a book and your first name is the title on the cover. God has plans to prosper you and to give you a hope and a future . Could it be possible that your life is a train wreck because your making up your own story , alone and guessing and hoping every little choice you make does not lead to another disaster. I have said it before , God has given us the gift of free will and choice and He could force you to follow Him but if He did that you would be insincere and unappreciative , for His love and guidance. If your are self medicating , angry , sad , and afraid to even open your eyes then stop writing your own story and ask God to help you out of the old one and start living the new one He has written . Think of it like this turn the clock all the way back to when you were a very small child your playing in the living room and you see on TV a movie preview .Stunned and stuck at what your watching play out on TV you realize I must see that now and you run into your parents room and start begging and pleading with them to take you to see that movie , after a good forty five minutes of nagging they relent and will take you Sunday before 5 because it was cheaper back then .Remember that excitement you felt in the car when your Mom is filling her purse with snacks to save money and the moment you get to the window to buy the tickets and you could barely see over the counter. The doors open and a crowd rushes out and following right behind is the aroma of freshly cooked popcorn , at this point your so excited you cant stand still . Find that somewhere deep in your heart and realize God has a movie and book like that with your name on it He just waiting for you to come to the theater.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.(GODS BIG BOOK) BY Joseph Dickerson

Twelve Steps - 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous - Hazelden -- Hazelden

Best of the week from Choose Help

Mindfulness and Depression: Learning to Feel Good Again

How Mindfulness can overcome depression, teach us how to ignore unwanted thoughts and help us choose what is healthy for ourselves.

You've seen the advertisements. They say: "I've been on my medication for a long time and I still suffer from depression. So maybe I should add a second medication."

On the other hand, people say that one definition of craziness is when you are doing something that doesn't work, and you go on doing it. (One medication isn’t working so I’ll take another. That sounds like, "it's bad enough being depressed, they think I'm crazy also?")

I understand where these drug companies are coming from. They say that "depression is a real disease" so it necessitates a real medication. I agree that medication can be an important, and sometime critical, component of the fight against depression. But who says that medication is the only cure for a disease?

You know what depression is: That heavy darkness in which your mind gets stuck on dark thoughts. There is no strength or pleasure. Life seems to continue against your will.

We often find that even after medication helps, there is still no real joy in life. The pain might be gone, but there is still a lingering "stuckness." It seems like sooner or later there will be that inevitable hurdle in life, a wrench in the works, that can push you down again into that black abyss.

So you'll go running for the shelter of some sad little helper (to paraphrase the Stones).

But is there another way? Do you have to rely only on another chemical? What about dealing with the depression itself? Dealing with the thoughts that bring us down? Is there an effective way to move away from depressing thoughts?

CBT and Medication - Can They Bring You Back to Joy?

Many therapists will tell you about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which has been shown in research, when used with antidepressants, to be one of the most effective forms of therapy.

That means that it works about 60% of the time.

That's great if you are not part of the other 40% and you don't mind the side effects of the medication.

Also, CBT does not get you to a place of joy and happiness. While you might not be depressed, most of us still want to feel good and have a real sense of well-being. We would like to be one of those people who are happy to get out of bed in the morning.

While CBT is really on to something when it teaches us to attack depressive thoughts, there is an alternative that will work for many of the people who don’t succeed with CBT. CBT teaches us to confront, attack and change our patterns of thinking. But do we really want to attack, conquer and change our depressive thought patterns. That is a lot of work, and who wants to fight when you're depressed? That is wheremindfulness comes in. Mindfulness is a technique that allows us to have thoughts and keep them from bothering us.

Feeling Better with Mindfulness

The main idea in mindful meditations is to look at your thoughts as fleeting curiosities. This is added to a perspective that we need to live in the present. Not to ruminate about the past or worry about the future. Now that already sounds good to people who suffer from depression. It is sort of like when I was a kid, and there was a big kid who would threaten me. My mother would tell me to ignore him. She said if you don't react he'll leave you alone. I said, "But he's going to beat me up!" She told me that he is looking for a reaction and I need to let him find it somewhere else. I said, "but he's picked on me in the past!" She said, "That's in the past. Let it go!"

That's the attitude you need for mindful meditation. You learn to ignore the threatening thoughts. Especially with negative, beating-you-up type thoughts, but also for any thought. In mindful meditation you learn how to observe your thoughts without letting them conquer you or control you or your emotions. You learn to detach yourself from your thinking in such a way that you can consciously decide whether or not the thought is worthwhile engaging or not.

So if you are living in the present, and monitoring your thoughts, what might happen? Let's say you’re eating dinner. Taking your time. Since everybody’s mind is constantly wandering, you might come up with a thought such as, "this is like the time we went out and I messed up." You didn't ask to think this thought. You don't even like it. Usually you begin to push it out. Or embellish it. Or think about how bad it is to think that way. But with a mindful perspective you are able to say to yourself, "Interesting that I have that thought. I wonder what thought will come up next." As you watch your thoughts flow by, sooner or later there might be one you like. You can then decide whether or not to hold on for a few moments or let that one go by also.

Mindfulness - The Two Basic Methods

There are two basic methods to achieve this goal:

One is a quiet training and the other is an active meditation. How are they done?

1. Quiet Mindfulness Training

To train your brain to refrain from unhealthy engagement in its own thoughts you need to practice on a daily basis. Here are the basic steps:

Get comfortable. You do not need to be sitting cross-legged on a mat. Any comfortable position is fine. You can even lay in bed, but not if you are going to fall asleep.
Make sure that you won’t be disturbed. Shut off your phone. Close the door. You do not really need quiet, since you want to learn to use extraneous noises for your meditation also.
Most people find it necessary to close their eyes. This helps you tune into you internal processes. Some people can do this with their eyes open. In the long run it is helpful to gain the skills to be mindful when you are engaged in other activities.
Use your mind to focus on your internal processes. “Watch” yourself breathe. Notice the flow of air going gently through your nostrils and into your lungs. Observe the other sensations of your body like the pressure of the chair, the sounds in the air, etc. Breathe normally, and continue to breathe normally.
As your mind begins to wander gently bring your attention back to your breath. This is the most important step. This is the actual skill you need to practice. You can note that your thinking has wandered, but don’t engage in the thought. Just say to yourself something like, “Oh, my mind wandered off. OK. Let’s go focus back on the breath.”
Continue for at least ten minutes. Some recommend at least 20 minutes. I think everybody is different. Find you own optimal time.
Repeat every day.

2. Active Mindfulness Training

The second method of mindfulness is based on connecting actions with specific thoughts. You take some normal activity and infuse it with a mindful purpose and direction. It should be a normal daily activity and a positive thought that is generalizable to your whole life.

I want to share with you one of my favorites.

We all wash our hands multiple times a day. We do it without thinking or at least while thinking about something else. We think about the food we are about to eat, or the meeting we are getting late for. Washing hands is a healthful activity which we waste as either protective or preparatory. Why not make it healthful for the emotions and spirit?

This is the suggestion: Take time to notice how the water flows over your hands. Think of this as a metaphor for life. Life flows by, and all things pass. Good and bad. Life just flows on by, and we can catch the opportunity to savor the good parts and allow the bad parts to flow by.

Since you have opportunities to practice this a few times a day, you will begin to train yourself to adapt this perspective.

Give it two weeks of consistent practice, I assure you, you will feel better.

Image Copyright: Premasagar

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