Tuesday, August 19, 2014

August 19 Chp 38 v 11 TWELVE STEPPING WITH STRENGTH FROM PSALMS 

My loved ones and friends stay away , fearing my disease . Even my own family stands at a distance . 


STEP 8 - Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all .



We have become the monster(addiction) under the bed ! Most are afraid of the monster(addiction) under the bed because we cant figure out where it come from , and how do we get rid of it . The monster(addiction) under the bed was me and when I finally revealed my ugly head my family was frightened . For quite some time I managed to only let the monster(addiction) come out when they were not looking but after time feeding the monster(addiction) it got stronger and stronger and I could no longer control it. Once out of my control it spread terror throughout my home ! My monster(addiction) wanted to be fed all the time and it did not matter what it stole or who it hurt .My family were its first victims not only fear was spread but sadness , my monster(addiction) was mean and all it cared about was being fed . My true friends were the next to be chased away by my monster(addiction) .Before long I was alone with my monster(addiction) , I was broken , exhausted and desperate to get away from my monster(addict) . My monster(addiction) now held me close and drug me into the darkness .No matter how hard I tried to get away my monster(addiction) just held tighter. All I could do was cry out in anger at my monster . In that darkness I saw a small ray of light coming under the bed and in the light I saw the shadow of hand reaching out , immediately I grabbed that hand and my monster(addiction) couldn't hold me anymore and I was free . 


Romans 6 : 16 Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness?




By Joseph Dickerson
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DATE: Tuesday, August 19
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PROGRAM: Chosen Generation with Pastor Greg Young
TOPIC: Robin Williams, Depression and Suicide


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Sunday, August 17, 2014

August 17 Chp 31 v 10 TWELVE STEPPING WITH STRENGTH FROM THE PSALM


I am dying from grief ; my years are shortened by sadness .Sin (addiction) has drained my strength ; I am wasting away from within .


STEP 1- We admitted we were powerless over our addiction - that our lives had become unmanageable.


I will never forget what the Psalm is describing ! Fourteen years ago that was my life ! I sit here praying and scrambling for the words to describe just how sad I was then and I am at a loss. Words are not descriptive enough to describe the sorrows that once controlled me. I was a puppet on strings in the hands of Satan , his purpose was to keep me treading water in the sea of my tears just seeing safety's shore in the distance but every time I got close to rescue he pulled me right back in .Straining in my mind trying to get glimpse and a feeling from the past , brings tears to my eyes. Too think ,addiction the puppet was once me and satan was my puppet master no longer brings saddens or fear .In the midst of my sea of sadness was a set of stairs going straight into the sun , I cried out and the tide changed and I was being drawn to those steps and magnificent light and with all my strength I could muster the strings that once held me snapped .I realize now That God was the light and Jesus was the Tide .


2 Timothy 2:26 And they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will.

By Joseph Dickerson

Robin Williams And The Dark Legacy Of An Era Of Brilliant Addicts
Our genius comedian Robin Williams died in an apparent suicide after two decades sober, and in the wake of relapses and treatment over the past eight years. 

Shutterstock



08/12/14





Robin Williams came to notice as a brilliantly original performer in the 1970s, a time when alcoholism and drug addiction came to define an era of brilliant comic performers. Like Richard Pryor, George Carlin, and so many other amazing performers of the time, Williams used drugs and alcohol in legendary quantities, calming down that manic stage presence; or, given his enormous use of cocaine, to help him keep up with his own awe-inspiring comedic powers. During the late 1970s and early 1980s, Williams was addicted to both cocaine and heroin, with alcohol being a constant companion. 

As a hard-drinking cocaine-addict, Williams used the rush of the stimulant to power the lightning-fast improvisational genius of his comic bits. As he rose to fame as the manic Mork from Ork on the 1970s hit sitcom Mork & Mindy, Williams developed a hard-partying reputation for drug abuse and alcoholism. In the 'live fast, die young' era of the 1970s, developing such a reputation was not easy and with Williams, it was clearly well deserved.


What was he afraid of? "Everything. It's just a general all-round arggghhh. It's fearfulness and anxiety."

Williams continued to battle alcoholism and cocaine abuse in the early 1980s at the height of his first taste with celebrity. A frequent partier alongside John Belushi, Williams had been partying with the legendary Saturday Night Live comedian at L.A.’s Chateau Marmont hotel hours before Belushi overdosed on a lethal combination of heroin and cocaine in 1982. Coinciding with the birth of his son, Belushi’s overdose in 1982 was a strong wake-up call for Williams. He chose to embrace a path of recovery that lasted for over twenty years. When asked if Belushi’s death helped him find that path, Williams explained, "Was it a wake-up call? Oh yeah, on a huge level. The grand jury helped too."


Robin Williams in the press room at the 35th Annual People's Choice Awards.

Soon after, Williams experienced his first stint in rehab and received professional help. Williams said he once thought he could handle his problems with addiction on his own, but soon realized he would only kick his addiction to drugs with professional help. Williams admitted in a later interview: "You can't [deal with it on your own]. That's the bottom line. You really think you can, then you realize, I need help, and that's the word ... It's hard admitting it, then once you've done that, it's real easy."


Comedy is the best medicine, and Williams provided so much more than his own fair share of it. 

In 2006, however, on location in a small town in Alaska, Williams began drinking again. In a 2006 interview with ABC’s “Good Morning America,” Williams came clean about his fall off the sobriety wagon. He explained to ABC’s Diane Sawyer that his stumble back into alcohol abuse was “very gradual,” and that addiction is a multi-leveled mind-body-and-spirit disease that knows no statute of limitations. Williams explained the deadly progression after a relapse when he said, “It waits. It lays in wait for the time when you think, ‘It’s fine now, I’m OK.’ Then, the next thing you know, it’s not OK.”


Robin Williams and his daughter Zelda Williams at the Hollywood Film Festival's 10th Annual Hollywood Awards Gala.

In an interview with The Guardian, Williams went into greater detail about how the progression from the first drink exploded into full-blown alcoholism: "I just thought, hey, maybe drinking will help. Because I felt alone and afraid. It was that thing of working so much, and going 'fuck, maybe that will help.' And it was the worst thing in the world." 

Although friends and talking heads came up with a number of reasons why Robin Williams relapsed after such a long period of sobriety, he denied any of their loving explanations. Theories ranged from the depression brought on by the death of former Julliard roommate Christopher Reeve in 2004, to the problems that led to the break-up of his second marriage in 2008—all of the explanations were off base according to the performer. Williams explained to The Guardian, “It's more selfish than that. It's just literally being afraid. And you think, oh, this will ease the fear. And it doesn't." What was he afraid of? "Everything. It's just a general all-round arggghhh. It's fearfulness and anxiety."

Although he avoided falling back into the drugs because his fear that cocaine and heroin would simply kill him, it took only a week of drinking before he knew he was in trouble. Williams explained the harsh moment of clarity: "For that first week you lie to yourself, and tell yourself you can stop, and then your body kicks back and says, no, stop later. And then it took about three years, and finally you do stop." After an intervention by family and friends, Williams ended up back in rehab and back on the path of recovery. 

In 2009, Williams had heart surgery to replace his aortic valve. Although drug and alcohol addiction are known to cause heart problems, Williams had a family history of heart disease. Doctors believe his heart problems most likely were not related to his past substance abuse. Soon after his recovery, Williams announced a 20-date tour for his comedy show Weapons of Self-Destruction, which he saiddrew from “a relapse, three years of heavy drinking, going to rehab in wine country to keep my options open, coming out of that, divorce, and open heart surgery.”


Robin Williams and his former wife Marsha Garces in 2002.

For a while, everything seemed to be back on track with both his career and a happy marriage to his third wife, graphic designer Susan Schneider, in 2011. In early July of 2014, however, Williams reportedly checked back into rehab again. According to People magazine, Williams denied falling off the wagon again and claimed that the treatment was only a precautionary measure. Since this last incident came just two months after CBS cancelled his new sitcom The Crazy Ones after only a single season, some suggest his problems began with the failure of the show. In terms of his downslide into deep clinical depression, the cancellation of the series that also starred Sarah Michelle Gellar could have been a trigger that led to the ringing of the final bell. 

Robin Williams was the brightest bulb of a comedic generation marred by addiction and tragedy. Diagnosed bipolar, with all of the challenges that such a mental disorder brings with it, it is very sad but not completely surprising that Robin Williams was overcome by the darkness of his depression. It is a shock though.

Comedy is the best medicine, and Williams provided so much more than his own fair share of it. Perhaps that is why we are all so rocked by his sudden, tragic death—his lightness, and flash-quick wit, his high-energy hilarity, his pure comic genius was such a balm to so many of us with addictions; you wonder why someone who provided so many of us with relief and distraction and laughter-till-it-hurt, was unable to be as generous with himself as he was with all of us. Rest in peace.

John Lavitt is a regular contributor to The Fix. He last wrote about Lance Dodes.

A VA Clinic Tries a New Course
New England vets will be treated with a process called "ACT." Veterans and others seeking relief from chronic pain could be spared joining the millions unwillingly addicted to narcotic pain pills. So what is "Acceptance Community Therapy?"

Shutterstock



08/11/14




Good news for veterans this week came in the form of a $10 billion bill devoted to emergency spending over three years to pay doctors and other health professionals to care for veterans who can't get appointments at VA facilities. The VA has had a tough year. Revelations of the widespread cover up of wait times has led to the firing of employees in Wyoming and Colorado, and the resignation of VA Secretary Eric Shineski. 

The bill includes $5 billion for hiring more VA doctors, nurses and other medical staff and $1.3 billion to open 27 new VA clinics across the country. 

One clinic that is to become the flagship for the treatment of chronic pain in the New England region is the ACT for Pain Clinic at Togus in Maine. And having been selected to serve the entire New England region, the Togus facility will almost certainly become the model for many new facilities funded by the new bill.

Dr. Amanda Adcock heads up the ACT for Pain Clinic. She talked exclusively to The Fix about the work they’ve been doing helping vets deal with chronic pain. 

Adcock says when treating chronic pain, medication alone is not the answer. 

“A narcotic pain medication numbs the ability to feel so you're really also numbing certain emotional reactions. That causes some of the social interaction difficulties.”

Adcock believes that dealing with pain must first start with acceptance.

ACT teaches patients to accept their situation in their private lives without trying to better control their thoughts, feelings, memories and other private events as taught in traditional cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). In other words it asks patients to stop avoiding pain and in a sense, embrace it.

Though the concept of ACT has been around for a while, it’s pretty radical stuff for many health care professionals and it hasn’t been easy to get doctors in the VA away from the traditional response to chronic pain: medication. But she says things are changing.

“I think with a lot of the research coming out about accidental OD deaths on prescribed medication over the past several years that it hasn’t been as difficult a conversation. There’s been a huge push for improved opioid safety initiatives…and a huge push to offer alternatives.”

This Maine clinic is one of those alternatives currently being embraced at the VA in New England at Togus—the oldest VA facility in the country. It was the first of the fledgling regional homes for disabled volunteers to open in November 1866.

Vets are introduced to ACT during a five day interdisciplinary, intensive outpatient course. They are shown new ways to think about physical therapy, occupational therapy and complementary alternatives such as yoga to better their health and well-being. 

At the end of the week in a graduation ceremony, they tell their friends, family and support people what they’ve learned, what changes they want to make and how they will make those changes. They get a certificate and are asked to sign themselves back into a ‘full and meaningful life.' In doing so they make a commitment to themselves to do things for themselves.

“We have the vets come up with an action plan in the form of a diagram..We rely on it heavily. Towards on one side, and away on the other.”


‘We know from basic science that when a human being says out loud a commitment to do something, that commitment is 80% more likely to be followed through on.”

Invariably the families and caregivers are happy to see this. Anyone who’s spent time in recovery can describe their process in similar terms and family members with these experiences have the most recognition. 

“I mean its like AA or any other treatment program,” says Adcock. “People who are one step ahead and looking back explaining how to get there to the new guy.”

The eureka moment comes when they realize:

“All along they’ve being doing all these things (avoidance, denial, substance abuse, etc.) in the service of pain instead of the service of well-being or their family and the things they care about.” 

One of the biggest problems PCPs run into when helping a sufferer of chronic pain is when reliance on pain medication becomes an addiction. 

ACT can be useful in treating different substance abuse problems too. It allows for conversations on how different behaviors, including addictive behavior, get in the way of a full life. 

“Addictive behavior is no more stigmatized than any other behaviors. Acceptance of emotional reactions—not just about pain—but also about all sorts of internal reactions: Memory, feelings, emotions, thoughts, anything that would be going on inside the skin. We address it in the same way.”

The key word is "mindfulness":

“To watch these things occur (memory, thoughts etc.) and from that we get to choose – are we going to react to that experience? Or are we going to choose to do a behavior that moves us towards something that we care about?”

This therapy isn’t replacement for medication at all: 

“We have a broad perspective, a common language, to think about how to use any pain treatment for the purposes of getting back into life rather than simply the elimination of pain.” 

This approach allows PCPs to use meds more effectively. 

“Sometimes I have people I work with who use meds constantly and chronically and perhaps have a problem with medication. What we do is help someone to use meds more functionally. [For example,] if I know I react poorly to a medication perhaps I can I adjust when I take my doses, in order to be more able to engage with my family."

Sometimes it does mean getting off of painkillers altogether.

“I’ve worked with several vets who have come completely off narcotic pain meds and are maybe using some other nerve medication and they say things to me like: “Now I know that when I experience the pain, the pain makes me feel alive.”

One of the core goals of the ACT program at Togus is to get patients in touch with some of the things in their life they used to enjoy before the onset of chronic pain, to reintroduce them to things that gave their life meaning and value.

“What are the things in life that maybe you’ve given up because of pain and how are we going to work hand in hand in getting those things back for you?” She asks patients. 

“Specifically getting reengaged with the family, perhaps getting back to work, perhaps just getting engaged with the community. Acceptance of chronic pain as something’s that’s always going to be there. Something that hijacks the brain and takes over but it’s something we can learn to live with.”

Neville Elder is a regular contributor to The Fix. He's also a photographer and writer. Originally from the UK, he's lived in the unfashionable end of Brooklyn for 13 years. He last wrote about the farce of death penalty drugs, rock 'n roll recovery and early morning sober raves.


Hazy Outlook: The Struggle Between Employer Drug Testing and Legalized Marijuana
If you legally use medical marijuana on your own time, should your employer be able to fire you for a failed drug test?


Shutterstock



08/14/14

The New York Times found itself in the headlines when the newspaper threw its weight behind the legalization of marijuana. Unfortunately, the decision also cast a cold light on the Times’ internal policies, which require employees to submit to testing for drugs, including marijuana. The resulting uproar, whichincluded a petition asking the publication to repeal its tests that was signed by more than 5,000 individuals, has brought into sharp focus one of the core issues inherent to the movement to legalize marijuana: can companies still enforce anti-drug rules in this increasingly pro-pot environment?


On one level, the answer remains an unquestionable yes. Though 20 states have legalized marijuana for medical use, very few have provided legal protection for patients. If employers have stated in their human resources handbooks that the use of marijuana or other drugs is against their company policy, employees can be dismissed, and prospective candidates will not be hired, if they draw a positive test for said substances. Cannabis is still a Schedule 1 drug on the Drug Enforcement Agency’s Controlled Substances Act, which means that even in states like Washington or Colorado, where marijuana has been approved for medical and/or recreational use, it remains an illegal substance under federal law. “Employers hold all the cards,” said David Rheins, CEO of Seattle’s Marijuana Business Association. “If not using marijuana is in the contract, or the terms of the job, you can get fired.”


But attempts to enforce these policies to the letter of the law have nudged the issue into murky legal waters. Case in point: Michael Boyer, whose status as the first resident of Spokane, Washington, tolegally purchase recreational pot was documented on national television. Among those watching Boyer’s moment in the spotlight were his employers at TrueBlue Labor Ready, which immediately required him to submit a drug test. Boyer balked, knowing that his test would come back positive, which resulted in his dismissal. However, the attention generated by his plight spurred TrueBlue to reverse their decision and hire back Boyer on the grounds that they were unaware that he had taken the day off to make his historic purchase, and as such, would not be reporting impaired to that day’s work.


On the same day that Boyer bought weed, Seattle City Attorney Pete Holmes was photographed making a similar purchase at a local cannabis shop. Though minted as a forward-thinking hero to Washington’s pro-pot movement, Holmes later stated that he was in violation of Seattle’s drug-free workplace policies by bringing the substance to his office, where it remained unopened until he brought it home. Holmes later made a public apology and volunteered to donate $3,000 to the city’s Downtown Emergency Shelter. 


However, it may be the case of Dish Network employee Brandon Coats that eliminates gray areas in national policy. The Colorado resident, who is a quadriplegic due to a spinal injury that requires him to use a wheelchair, used marijuana to calm powerful muscle spasms that made it difficult for him to perform basic functions. Though he had a medical marijuana card issued by the state of Colorado and only used the substance in his own home after work hours, Dish Network fired Coats in 2010 for failing a drug test. Under Amendment 20 of the Colorado Constitution, employers are not required to “accommodate the medical use of marijuana in any work place,” but the law is not explicit in regard to whether employees can be dismissed for using medical marijuana at home. 


Coats sued the company on the grounds that his marijuana use was for medicinal purposes and legal in Colorado, but lost his cases at both the state and appellate levels, where judges ruled that Dish Network was within its rights to terminate Coats over use of a substance that was illegal under federal law. Coats has since appealed to the Colorado Supreme Court, which will hear arguments this summer before a ruling slated for early fall. If Coats should emerge victorious, the entire issue of drug testing for employees could be upended. “Employers really need to keep an eye on this decision, said Vance Knapp, a labor law attorney for the Denver firm Sherman & Howard. “[A favorable] decision would help other proponents of marijuana use in other states and other jurisdictions to support their argument that employees should have protections for using marijuana.” In short, the same protections afforded to employees who use alcohol and prescription drugs might be extended to marijuana users. As with the efforts of the marijuana legalization movement, both sides are looking at an uphill battle on an ill-defined landscape.


Paul Gaita is a Los Angeles-based writer. He has contributed to The Los Angeles Times, LA Weekly, Amazon and The Los Angeles Beat, among other publications and sites.