Sometimes those closest to us, including ourselves, can be the most difficult to love or to express kindness to. Whether we feel we do not deserve love or are unsure how to receive it, love can be difficult to experience at different times in our life. By focusing simply on kindness, a pathway to love is forged and can be strengthened. Here is an article by R. Owens with 5 ways to put kindness in action:
1. “Communicate on a deeper level by asking your loved ones how they wish to be treated. Don’t assume that loving this person automatically gives you insight into what they need. True love helps us develop special sensitivities to the needs of others, but often our love is tainted with attachment, which tends to turn those we love into objects we think we own. If we begin making decisions on our loved ones’ behalf, they will likely feel robbed of a sense of agency. This is the opposite of kindness.
2. Empathizing is an important expression of kindness. We begin by empathizing with ourselves and developing a relationship to our own experiences, including our comfort, discomfort, and what we need to be okay. After that, we are able to direct that same empathy toward others. This empathy is full of kindness as it is a kind of attention that sees and holds the most tender parts of others.
3. Learn to set boundaries and communicate when it may be difficult to be kind. We have periods where extending kindness is particularly difficult. If you are with love ones during one of these times, it is important for you to care for yourself. You do this so as to prevent taking your discomfort out on them. Asking for space is an act of kindness.
4. Let go of the idea of being nice. Being nice can be superficial, as well as inauthentic and lazy, as we use niceness to manipulate others or bypass real feelings that need to be expressed. We must challenge ourselves into a deeper engagement around the expression of love for others.
5. Holding space is another important act of kindness. Holding space means that we allow our loved ones to show up as themselves. We are not reacting but listening compassionately and witnessing them without judging them or criticizing. Holding space is at the heart of our loved ones (sic) feelings seen and heard by us.”
Hugzzz
Karen
