Hi 4C Women,
Negative thoughts at one time destroyed my self-confidence, self-esteem and self-love. It was difficult to love myself when negative thoughts were the core of my identity, including my extreme negative outlook on life.
I think I relate most to the quote, “Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work, it means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.” I still have feelings of anger, frustration and sadness yet my foundation is that peace, that positive possibility and my willingness to handle it. When I feel negativity coming on, I have learned to express it. Some people may call it venting. For me, it’s reaching out in a safe place, a safe person who is willing to listen and it’s amazing how just doing that takes away the long-staying power of negativity, which is how my life used to be. I’m not fearful of expressing myself for it releases a lot of anxiety and it’s amazing how others can offer wonderful input based on their life experience. Just as we are not alone in working on our sobriety, we are not alone when needing help, a shoulder to cry on, a friendly voice to calm us.
WFS provides the tools for obtaining and maintaining sobriety. It also provides a safe place to seek and ask for help. It is not easy to ask for help yet this past year especially has shown me what a difference it makes to take this risk. My feeling is that if I don’t walk this journey alone, why would I be resistant to asking for help when I need it. In order to have your first conscious sober act be to remove negativity from your life, seek help in understanding how you can do this. It doesn’t mean you don’t have these feelings, it means you are seeking ways of handling them and releasing them from becoming a powerful force in hurting yourself and harming your relationships. It’s all about balance. As you acknowledge negativity and find positive ways to work through it, you learn trust… trusting yourself and others.
If you are resistant to seeking help, perhaps it’s time to ask:
- What your greatest fear is in doing so? Rejection, appearing weak?
- Do you trust yourself enough to trust others?
- Where is your safe place?
- Are you able to recognize and acknowledge negative thoughts?
- Are they actually related to a current situation or an old message that distracts you from working through the “now”?
-WFS Member
