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Wednesday, July 9, 2014
A new study says 10% of deaths for people between 20 and 64 is alcohol related. Most of these deaths are male and a direct result of binge drinking. Alcohol related deaths include chronic diseases such as high blood pressure, stroke and cancer, as well as acute causes such as accidents, homicides and suicides. Scientists believe that the "1-in-10 number" is almost certainly an underestimate because several well known alcohol-related diseases are not included in this study. Alcohol is the 4th largest cause of preventable deaths behind smoking, poor nutrition and lack of exercise. For more information and to read the CDC's report, visit 
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
JULY 8 TWELVE STEPPING WITH POWER IN THE PROVERB
For whoever finds me finds life,
All those who hate me love death. But those who miss me injure themselves . All who hate me love death .
STEP 2 - Came to believe that God ( Jesus ) could restore us to sanity !
Addiction is your master and you are the slave not free to live your life the way it is meant to be lived .When your physical life ends it does not mean its over . Living a life full of addiction and sin will separate you from the love God has for you now and when you cross over . Get it right now with God you think life is terrible now . Gods Big Book teaches we will be separated and put into prisons of darkness until the judgement . Yes this a lot and I struggle with understanding it . I figured why take chances and the Proverb was right , through the steps I found God and I do have life , a sober life and that was impossible in my own strength .
Isaiah 59 -1 -2
Behold, the Lord's hand is not shortened, that it cannot save, or his ear dull, that it cannot hear; but your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden his face from you so that he does not hear.
Good Afternoon!
If you haven’t already, here is your reminder to please register for this month’s Expanding Your Recovery Toolkit program coming up on:
Tuesday, July 15th
7:00 – 8:30pm
At The Council Office, Unit 12
Please pass along the attached flyer to anyone you feel would benefit from this program. As always, you must register yourself or your group ahead so that we may be prepared with enough materials and food/beverages. If you have any questions, please let me know!
THANK YOU!
Rick Petrolawicz
CRS/ Volunteer Coordinator
The Council of Southeast Pennsylvania, Inc/ PRO-ACT
Central Bucks Recovery Resource Center
252 W. Swamp Road, Bailiwick Office Campus, Unit 12
Doylestown, PA 18901
Phone: (215) 345-6644 ext 3151
Fax: (215) 348-3377
24 Hour Information Line: (800)221-6333
Saturday, July 5, 2014
JULY 5 v 23 TWELVE STEPPING WITH POWER IN THE PROVERB
He shall die for lack of instruction,
And in the greatness of his folly he shall go astray.
And in the greatness of his folly he shall go astray.
STEP 4 Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
They say we have come into this world with nothing well that's not true ! There is one thing we have here even if we are unfortunate enough too not have parents. We can choose too hate this life or love it . God our maker has given us an instruction manual ,it has been here since the beginning of everything . We need to pick it up ,it addresses everything in our lives including how too get free from addiction . The Proverb cannot get any clearer ! During your Twelve step march to freedom you will discover the truth about yourself .The instruction manual (Bible) will pull you from the pit , dust you off , and put you on solid ground and help you walk a clean and sober path into your God given purpose for your life . Stop living confused , sad , addicted settling to live your life way below your potential . You deserve so much more the instruction manual says so !
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
They say we have come into this world with nothing well that's not true ! There is one thing we have here even if we are unfortunate enough too not have parents. We can choose too hate this life or love it . God our maker has given us an instruction manual ,it has been here since the beginning of everything . We need to pick it up ,it addresses everything in our lives including how too get free from addiction . The Proverb cannot get any clearer ! During your Twelve step march to freedom you will discover the truth about yourself .The instruction manual (Bible) will pull you from the pit , dust you off , and put you on solid ground and help you walk a clean and sober path into your God given purpose for your life . Stop living confused , sad , addicted settling to live your life way below your potential . You deserve so much more the instruction manual says so !
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
4.
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. - See more
at:
http://www.bettyfordcenter.org/recovery/recovery/12-steps-of-alcoholics-anonymous.php#sthash.QBE7lKIo.dpuf
4.
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. - See more
at:
http://www.bettyfordcenter.org/recovery/recovery/12-steps-of-alcoholics-anonymous.php#sthash.QBE7lKIo.dpuf
4.
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. - See more
at:
http://www.bettyfordcenter.org/recovery/recovery/12-steps-of-alcoholics-anonymous.php#sthash.QBE7lKIo.dpuf
15 Bad Grandpas (and Grandmas)
Retirement doesn’t have to be boring. These senior citizens bypassed the bingo nights and became involved in some of the most high-profile drug smuggling and dealing cases in recent history.
Leo Sharp shutterstock
By McCarton Ackerman
07/01/14
Share on facebookShare on twitter | More Sharing ServicesShare
Earlier this month, 90-year-old Indiana native Leo Sharp was sentenced to three years in prison on federal drug trafficking charges. The World War II veteran hauled more than a ton of cocaine across state lines to Michigan, collecting over $1 million in the process, before finally being caught in 2011. His crimes called for a minimum of 14 years, but government officials called for a five-year sentence and his attorney argued for no jail time, citing Sharp’s ongoing health issues as being a burden to the prison system. After being sentenced, Sharp told the court he was “heartbroken I did what I did. But it’s done.”
However, this is hardly the first time senior citizens have been the masterminds of profitable and high-powered drug trades. Check out 14 other classic examples of drug dealing and smuggling grandmas and grandpas.
Richard Heritz, 85, marijuana
Here’s a prison care package that goes well beyond razors and toothbrushes. The elderly grandpa was arrested in 2010 for trying to smuggle marijuana for his grandson, who was incarcerated for burglary. Police received a tip that Heritz was planning to smuggle in drugs and was pulled over by state troopers, who discovered more than 20 grams of marijuana on him. He was charged with attempting to convey drugs on the grounds of a detention facility, a third-degree felony, and possessing criminal tools, a fifth-degree felony There was also plenty of time for family bonding afterwards as Heritz was placed in a cell not too far from his grandson in the same prison. He was eventually released on $10,000 bond, but faced up to seven years in jail on the charges, tantamount to a life sentence for the 85-year-old.
Arsain bin Anwar, 84, crystal meth
This elderly grandfather is now facing a brutal death by a firing squad after being caught smuggling more than $400,000 worth of crystal meth into Bali, Indonesia. He was arrested earlier this month after airport security officials in Bali found 5.5 pounds of the drug in his luggage, but bin Anwar claimed to have no idea he was transporting drugs. The Indonesian citizen, who currently lives in Malaysia, was paid just $62 to transport the package, but said he did so because he desperately needed to cover the medical costs of his ailing wife. Another man was suspected to be involved in the drug ring, but he managed to skip past customs and has still evaded police.
Roza Shusterman, 80, prescription drugs
Some people start their criminal record late in life. Shusterman was arrested on drug selling charges for the first time in 1993, at the age of 70, and received two more convictions in the next 10 years, with her last coming in May 2002. She avoided prison the following January by pleading guilty to felony drug sales of prescription pills and a misdemeanor drug possession charge. She operated entirely in and around her Brooklyn apartment, with neighbors reporting that she would stand on the street and pull pills out of her housecoat to sell. But having suffered from a multitude of ailments, she died from heart failure just one month after her guilty plea. The lawyer for her accomplice, 78-year-old Faina Kodner, tried to keep the fellow Russian grandma out of jail by arguing that she suffered from Alzheimer’s disease and would be a burden to the prison system.
Barbara Stiff, 79, marijuana
You wouldn’t think it based on her warm smile, but this Australian great-grandmother was arrested last June after police found 67 grams of marijuana in her apartment. Stiff admitted to selling the drugs, but said they belonged to her daughter, who was using the drug as pain relief before she passed away that year. After admitting that she allowed her dying daughter to smoke pot in her house, her local housing commission tried to remove her from the apartment she had lived in for the last 30 years. Stiff was sentenced last January to a four-month suspended jail sentence and four-month good behavior bond. She later told reporters that she was embarrassed by the trial, but relieved to put it behind her and have a chance to move forward from a difficult year.
Albert Martin, 73, heroin and cocaine
Some drug dealing businesses are family-owned and operated. The 73-year-old was arrested on drug charges along with his 20-year-old grandson, Troy Martin. The Pittsburgh bust came after police found 24 heroin bricks totaling $12,000, an ounce of cocaine worth $10,000, a 30-round magazine belonging to Troy and over $4,200 in cash. The arrest came after a three-month investigation by local police.
Luther and Audrey Beaver, 74, and 63, marijuana and LSD
In another case of keeping it in the family, this Ohio couple was arrested in 1981 for dealing drugs throughout the city of Columbus, with their clients even affectionately naming them “Grandpa” and “Grandma.” They each pleaded guilty to one count of drug trafficking, admitting to selling marijuana and LSD out of their home as a means of supplementing income from their monthly $381 Social Security checks. A police raid of their home found $10,000 worth of LSD and seven pounds of pot. They faced up to 10 years in prison on the charges, but their attorney argued for a sentence that didn’t include jail time because they refused to sell drugs to minors and were suffering from health problems.
Retirement doesn’t have to be boring. These senior citizens bypassed the bingo nights and became involved in some of the most high-profile drug smuggling and dealing cases in recent history.
Leo Sharp shutterstock
By McCarton Ackerman
07/01/14
Share on facebookShare on twitter | More Sharing ServicesShare
Earlier this month, 90-year-old Indiana native Leo Sharp was sentenced to three years in prison on federal drug trafficking charges. The World War II veteran hauled more than a ton of cocaine across state lines to Michigan, collecting over $1 million in the process, before finally being caught in 2011. His crimes called for a minimum of 14 years, but government officials called for a five-year sentence and his attorney argued for no jail time, citing Sharp’s ongoing health issues as being a burden to the prison system. After being sentenced, Sharp told the court he was “heartbroken I did what I did. But it’s done.”
However, this is hardly the first time senior citizens have been the masterminds of profitable and high-powered drug trades. Check out 14 other classic examples of drug dealing and smuggling grandmas and grandpas.
Richard Heritz, 85, marijuana
Here’s a prison care package that goes well beyond razors and toothbrushes. The elderly grandpa was arrested in 2010 for trying to smuggle marijuana for his grandson, who was incarcerated for burglary. Police received a tip that Heritz was planning to smuggle in drugs and was pulled over by state troopers, who discovered more than 20 grams of marijuana on him. He was charged with attempting to convey drugs on the grounds of a detention facility, a third-degree felony, and possessing criminal tools, a fifth-degree felony There was also plenty of time for family bonding afterwards as Heritz was placed in a cell not too far from his grandson in the same prison. He was eventually released on $10,000 bond, but faced up to seven years in jail on the charges, tantamount to a life sentence for the 85-year-old.
Arsain bin Anwar, 84, crystal meth
This elderly grandfather is now facing a brutal death by a firing squad after being caught smuggling more than $400,000 worth of crystal meth into Bali, Indonesia. He was arrested earlier this month after airport security officials in Bali found 5.5 pounds of the drug in his luggage, but bin Anwar claimed to have no idea he was transporting drugs. The Indonesian citizen, who currently lives in Malaysia, was paid just $62 to transport the package, but said he did so because he desperately needed to cover the medical costs of his ailing wife. Another man was suspected to be involved in the drug ring, but he managed to skip past customs and has still evaded police.
Roza Shusterman, 80, prescription drugs
Some people start their criminal record late in life. Shusterman was arrested on drug selling charges for the first time in 1993, at the age of 70, and received two more convictions in the next 10 years, with her last coming in May 2002. She avoided prison the following January by pleading guilty to felony drug sales of prescription pills and a misdemeanor drug possession charge. She operated entirely in and around her Brooklyn apartment, with neighbors reporting that she would stand on the street and pull pills out of her housecoat to sell. But having suffered from a multitude of ailments, she died from heart failure just one month after her guilty plea. The lawyer for her accomplice, 78-year-old Faina Kodner, tried to keep the fellow Russian grandma out of jail by arguing that she suffered from Alzheimer’s disease and would be a burden to the prison system.
Barbara Stiff, 79, marijuana
You wouldn’t think it based on her warm smile, but this Australian great-grandmother was arrested last June after police found 67 grams of marijuana in her apartment. Stiff admitted to selling the drugs, but said they belonged to her daughter, who was using the drug as pain relief before she passed away that year. After admitting that she allowed her dying daughter to smoke pot in her house, her local housing commission tried to remove her from the apartment she had lived in for the last 30 years. Stiff was sentenced last January to a four-month suspended jail sentence and four-month good behavior bond. She later told reporters that she was embarrassed by the trial, but relieved to put it behind her and have a chance to move forward from a difficult year.
Albert Martin, 73, heroin and cocaine
Some drug dealing businesses are family-owned and operated. The 73-year-old was arrested on drug charges along with his 20-year-old grandson, Troy Martin. The Pittsburgh bust came after police found 24 heroin bricks totaling $12,000, an ounce of cocaine worth $10,000, a 30-round magazine belonging to Troy and over $4,200 in cash. The arrest came after a three-month investigation by local police.
Luther and Audrey Beaver, 74, and 63, marijuana and LSD
In another case of keeping it in the family, this Ohio couple was arrested in 1981 for dealing drugs throughout the city of Columbus, with their clients even affectionately naming them “Grandpa” and “Grandma.” They each pleaded guilty to one count of drug trafficking, admitting to selling marijuana and LSD out of their home as a means of supplementing income from their monthly $381 Social Security checks. A police raid of their home found $10,000 worth of LSD and seven pounds of pot. They faced up to 10 years in prison on the charges, but their attorney argued for a sentence that didn’t include jail time because they refused to sell drugs to minors and were suffering from health problems.
Darlene Mayes, 73, marijuana
Known around Tulsa, OK as the “Ganja Grandma,” Mayes was responsible for a drug ring that distributed 40 percent of the marijuana around the city, as well as into parts of Arkansas, Kansas and Missouri. Police raided her home in April 2012 and found four pounds of pot, $276,000 in cash and two weapons. The money was contained in bundles of bills labeled “$15,000,” as well as a vacuum-sealed bag holding $200,000. Mayes initially told officers that the money was for her retirement fund before owning up to the massive operation. Police also reported that she had a bevy of dealers working for her, including her son Jerry, who was also arrested on drug charges.
James Evans, 70, synthetic marijuana
Instead of receiving mail from Publishers Clearing House, this Texas grandfather was arrested last September for having a delivery with 20 packages of synthetic marijuana sent to his home. Local police in the town of Raymondville reported that not only was Allen selling the synthetic pot to young people in the neighborhood, but that “he was also later found with cocaine in his possession and marijuana individually wrapped ready for distribution.” He admitted to selling the drugs, but said he did it to send money to his out-of-town grandchildren. Allen also admitted that a relative was selling him the drug packages and Raymondville police issued a warrant for the relative's arrest shortly after.
Owulabi and Omowunmi Ganiyu Amoo, 60 and 57, heroin
This Nigerian couple didn’t have a particularly joyous New Year’s Eve in 2010, spending it with airport security officials in the city of Lagos as they excreted 160 wraps of heroin. Owulabi admitted that the couple were given an initial payment of $2,000 and could have received an additional $8,000 if they successfully brought the drugs into New York City, their final destination. The couple later begged for forgiveness and attributed the smuggling to financial hardships they were facing. “I need money for school fees, rent and feeding. I started the drug business in 2009. I feel sad and regret my involvement in drug trafficking,” he said. “The excitement of $10,000 per trip was irresistible.”
Theresa Anderson, 58, crack
Her neighbors in Buffalo saw Anderson as a lovable grandma, so they were shocked to find the dozen houses she bought along two nearby streets were all used for a massive drug operation. Using several of her relatives to push the drugs, police claim that she controlled the local drug trade through fear and violence, but also kept the area clean and safe for other community members. She was finally arrested in February 2012 for the “24-hour-a-day, 7-day-a-week” crack trade and faced more than 17 years in prison, but her attorney, Robert Ross Fogg, blamed her drug dealing on a drug problem. “Drugs, they take hold of you,” he said. They take your soul and they take your mind.”
Lindsay Sandiford, 57, cocaine
This British grandma is currently on death row in Bali after police found more than $2.4 million in cocaine on her as she entered Bali International Airport in 2012. She was condemned to death by firing squad in January 2013, despite the fact that prosecutors asked for a relatively minor 15-year sentence. Her three accomplices in the smuggling were also sentenced to prison terms ranging from one to six years on lesser charges including possession. She filed an appeal against her death sentence last August, but it was unanimously rejected. Two months later, she was moved to another jail cell after being viciously attacked by her cellmate. A source reported that “she was shocked and depressed when she was sentenced to death, then she just shut herself off and cried in her cell. When Lindsay asked [her] South African [cellmate] to stop being so noisy, [the cellmate] punched her.”
McCarton Ackerman has been a regular contributor to The Fix since 2011. He recently wrote about 12 shocking drug news items from Florida and Esther Nicholson.
Comic Transformation
With 20 years of sobriety, comedian Ian Harvie looks back on coming out as a lesbian, then as an alcoholic and then as transitioning into a male body in The Fix Q&A.
Photo via
By Amy Dresner
07/03/14
If you haven’t heard about Ian Harvie, you will. He is the first FTM (that’s female to male for you not hip to queer lingo) transgender comic. He toured with Margaret Cho for over three years before becoming a headliner himself. He makes all the girls swoon and the gay guys pant. With his puppy dog eyes, boy next door charm and a beard that would make any hipster in Silverlake jealous, he is seriously likeable and attractive. Besides being sweet, funny and taking the piss out of himself on stage, he is also over two decades sober. His comedy routine about his journey from female to male is as amusing as it is eye opening. And when the curtain closes you have a brand new and progressive set of ideas about gender, sexuality and relationships. I was lucky enough to tour with Ian when I was still a stand up comic. And as he just landed a recurring role on a new TV series, I thought it was the perfect time to introduce the Fix readers to this remarkably brave and talented individual.
You’ve been sober for over 20 years. What was your bottom? How do you stay sober on a day to day basis?
It was a collection of my own bottomed out deeds while drinking that led to me feeling small and emotionally filthy. That ended up being too much for what was, at the time, my dwindling spirit. I guess I'm too sensitive because looking back my "bottom" doesn't sound that horrific from the outside; it was just horrific on the inside.
To stay in recovery I have to rat myself out in some fashion every day; sometimes it’s in a 12-step meeting, sometimes to my partner, sometimes it's a subtle comment to someone I barely know and sometimes I do it on stage. But I need to come clean about something every day, even if I've said it before, I need to say it again. It's kind of like a mini admission of what I used to be like and what I'm like now. That ratting myself out is not to remind me of my former deeds. I've long since let that go. It's entirely about not forgetting the amazing gifts I have today in recovery.
We figured if a former career armed criminal and heroin addict, a transgender man and alcoholic, and an LA Jewish princess and recovering meth head could get clean and sober, fuck, anyone can!
Before you transitioned, you were a lesbian… a big-busted one as well. You have been very forthcoming about drinking over your discomfort with your body and with your gender identity. Can you talk more about that?
Yes, I drank a lot over my body and how I felt about it in relation to my gender. But I was an alcoholic before that. Feeling weird about my body just gave me a legitimate reason to medicate with booze. At first I thought I was somehow special about my awkwardness and my body….unique, like we all do. But after some time away from drinking and getting clearer, I realized that everyone feels a little nuts about their body, specifically in relationship to their gender. If you feel 100% okay about your body, and you feel masculine enough or feminine enough in your body every day of your life, then you're the fucking weirdo, not us. Learning that, I finally was at ease. I'm not perfect with it, nor do I expect to be, which allows me to let go even more.
You actually took me on two sober tours with you and Felon O’ Reilly back when I was still doing stand up: “We Are Not Saints” and “Laughs Without Liquor." How did the whole sober tour thing start? What is your experience doing stand up for others in recovery vs. normies?
Felon started it over a decade ago because he began performing standup and some of his friends couldn't legally come to liquor pouring establishments, [because they were] mandated by the court. So he created a regular space where they could come and laugh in a clean and sober environment. There was a big turnout locally and he continued it regionally. He then brought me in and then we brought you in and went around the country. We did recovery centers, clubhouses, and theaters around all the major cities, no booze served. We figured if a former career armed criminal and heroin addict (Felon), a transgender man and alcoholic (me), and an LA Jewish princess and recovering meth head (you) could get clean and sober, fuck, anyone can! We raised thousands and thousands of dollars for recovery-based organizations around the country and we got to tease the shit out of you the entire time while doing it. You were like our little sister on the road with us.
Sober or recovery audiences are intensely present and want to laugh. I think they're some of the best audiences around exactly for those reasons.
You just landed a role on Jill Solloway’s new series “Transparent." Tell me about that.
“Transparent” is about an LA family with serious boundary issues who have their past and future unravel when a dramatic admission causes everyone's secrets to spill out. Jeffrey Tambor plays the lead, a father who is reconsidering his gender, decides to transition, and comes out at 68 to his three children.
I play the role of “Dale," a furry-faced, lumberjack kind of trans man and the love interest of “Ali," the youngest daughter, played by Gabby Hoffmann. I am playing a character that I happen to share quite a bit in common with. You might say we have similar souls. And for me it's especially exciting to be a trans man playing a trans man on TV. Also, I've craved seeing more of trans people in trans roles on TV. I hope I give Dale's character truth.
The process was absolutely non-traditional Hollywood and now I know now that's exactly who Jill is. She's driven by love, instinct and creative vision in her storytelling, and Amazon trusts her and allows her to keep those core values in the TV show-making process. When she called me to officially offer me the part, I was super emotional and I thanked her and said "I won't let you down." She quickly came back with "No, I won't let YOU down!" I was teary. I can't thank her enough for bringing me into her Transparent family.
You can watch the pilot on Amazon here. The series will be out on Amazon Prime at the end of September.
You recently shot your one hour comedy special “Super Hero," executive produced by Margaret Cho. How has this been received?
I'm really proud that I made MY OWN feature-length concert film, IAN HARVIE SUPERHERO, and that my friend Margaret (Cho) executive produced it. It's about my life and ratting myself out about my feelings about my body and my experiences before, during, and after changing it. It was so well received that it ended up screening at over 25 festivals worldwide including OUTFEST here in Los Angeles and Frameline in San Francisco. It won best of the fest at Palm Springs and Kansas City LGBT Film Festivals and People's Choice at Fort Lauderdale International Film Festival. The film was just released to the public in April 2014 and is now available for download for five dollars on my web site: www.ianharvie.com. Here is the trailer for IAN HARVIE SUPERHERO:
You’ve said you do not identify as “male” but you do identify as a “man." Can you explain the difference?
For me biological sex is something science-y and gender is something I get to play with and create every day. This is just my opinion and how I feel about myself. For me, no matter how much testosterone I take throughout my life, I will always be biologically or genetically female. But if you meet me and talk to me and listen to me and experience me, you will see and feel undeniably that I am a man, albeit a self-made one, but a man, nevertheless. It's not important to me to be male and I am completely accepting and grateful that I was born female. I have such a rich life experience having lived as both man and woman. Not many folks get to claim that experience. I love all of my history even the hard parts. I wouldn't trade a single moment of it! And I also believe that I am who I say I am regardless of what my body might say to the world. It's taken me a long time to get to that place, where I know who I am is not up for public debate.
You take testosterone for your transition and some AA fundamentalists have said that steroid use is a relapse as it can alter your mental state and be psychologically addictive. What is your opinion?
Quite simply, testosterone is not a steroid. It’s a hormone and not physically addictive. It's legitimately prescribed by my physician and what any fundamentalist AA people might think about me or my taking it is not my business.
Self-love, self-acceptance and feeling comfortable in your own skin is something almost all alcoholics seem to struggle with. Do you think it’s harder for gay or trans people to get sober?
Everyone struggles, everyone. In my opinion, and this is just my opinion, my struggle is the same as everyone else's. For me it's not healthy to think that my struggle is harder or easier or more unique. It just is. I have such shared experience with everyone around me: our struggle with self-love, acceptance, being in our skin, sexual identity, or just generally feeling like we’re enough in this world. That describes pretty much everyone I know, sober or otherwise.
So first you came out to your parents as a lesbian. Then as an alcoholic. Then as a transman. What were their reactions to each of these revelations?
Strangely, I think my alcoholism was the hardest for them to grapple. I don't think they saw that the struggle was with booze. And I was pretty young so I think they might have thought I was just trying to figure out who I was, typical youth kind of floundering around. They didn't know I moved to Ohio at 19 because the drinking age was 19 and I thought, THAT'S THE STATE FOR ME! They weren't aware of my obsession with drinking before I ever put it to my lips. And on the other hand, I think they somehow knew for a long time something was going on with my overall sexuality and my gender because I started feuding with my Mom at 4 and 5 years old about not wanting to wear dresses and girl clothes. That feud continued through all of high school and beyond. So I think that was pretty glaring and they couldn't possibly say with a clear heart that they weren't aware of that on some level. But none of these revelations rocked their world. I have unusually unfaltering, loving parents. They are amazing and have stuck by me no matter what and I love them.
What do you have to say to other queer folk struggling with addiction?
I'm right there with you. I get you and you're among good company with your struggle. It gets better. But you gotta stick around sober for it to get better and receive all the amazing gifts. I would give them my number and tell them to call me.
Amy Dresner is a columnist for The Fix. She last wrote about gay pride and hating Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous.
With 20 years of sobriety, comedian Ian Harvie looks back on coming out as a lesbian, then as an alcoholic and then as transitioning into a male body in The Fix Q&A.
Photo via
By Amy Dresner
07/03/14
If you haven’t heard about Ian Harvie, you will. He is the first FTM (that’s female to male for you not hip to queer lingo) transgender comic. He toured with Margaret Cho for over three years before becoming a headliner himself. He makes all the girls swoon and the gay guys pant. With his puppy dog eyes, boy next door charm and a beard that would make any hipster in Silverlake jealous, he is seriously likeable and attractive. Besides being sweet, funny and taking the piss out of himself on stage, he is also over two decades sober. His comedy routine about his journey from female to male is as amusing as it is eye opening. And when the curtain closes you have a brand new and progressive set of ideas about gender, sexuality and relationships. I was lucky enough to tour with Ian when I was still a stand up comic. And as he just landed a recurring role on a new TV series, I thought it was the perfect time to introduce the Fix readers to this remarkably brave and talented individual.
You’ve been sober for over 20 years. What was your bottom? How do you stay sober on a day to day basis?
It was a collection of my own bottomed out deeds while drinking that led to me feeling small and emotionally filthy. That ended up being too much for what was, at the time, my dwindling spirit. I guess I'm too sensitive because looking back my "bottom" doesn't sound that horrific from the outside; it was just horrific on the inside.
To stay in recovery I have to rat myself out in some fashion every day; sometimes it’s in a 12-step meeting, sometimes to my partner, sometimes it's a subtle comment to someone I barely know and sometimes I do it on stage. But I need to come clean about something every day, even if I've said it before, I need to say it again. It's kind of like a mini admission of what I used to be like and what I'm like now. That ratting myself out is not to remind me of my former deeds. I've long since let that go. It's entirely about not forgetting the amazing gifts I have today in recovery.
We figured if a former career armed criminal and heroin addict, a transgender man and alcoholic, and an LA Jewish princess and recovering meth head could get clean and sober, fuck, anyone can!
Before you transitioned, you were a lesbian… a big-busted one as well. You have been very forthcoming about drinking over your discomfort with your body and with your gender identity. Can you talk more about that?
Yes, I drank a lot over my body and how I felt about it in relation to my gender. But I was an alcoholic before that. Feeling weird about my body just gave me a legitimate reason to medicate with booze. At first I thought I was somehow special about my awkwardness and my body….unique, like we all do. But after some time away from drinking and getting clearer, I realized that everyone feels a little nuts about their body, specifically in relationship to their gender. If you feel 100% okay about your body, and you feel masculine enough or feminine enough in your body every day of your life, then you're the fucking weirdo, not us. Learning that, I finally was at ease. I'm not perfect with it, nor do I expect to be, which allows me to let go even more.
You actually took me on two sober tours with you and Felon O’ Reilly back when I was still doing stand up: “We Are Not Saints” and “Laughs Without Liquor." How did the whole sober tour thing start? What is your experience doing stand up for others in recovery vs. normies?
Felon started it over a decade ago because he began performing standup and some of his friends couldn't legally come to liquor pouring establishments, [because they were] mandated by the court. So he created a regular space where they could come and laugh in a clean and sober environment. There was a big turnout locally and he continued it regionally. He then brought me in and then we brought you in and went around the country. We did recovery centers, clubhouses, and theaters around all the major cities, no booze served. We figured if a former career armed criminal and heroin addict (Felon), a transgender man and alcoholic (me), and an LA Jewish princess and recovering meth head (you) could get clean and sober, fuck, anyone can! We raised thousands and thousands of dollars for recovery-based organizations around the country and we got to tease the shit out of you the entire time while doing it. You were like our little sister on the road with us.
Sober or recovery audiences are intensely present and want to laugh. I think they're some of the best audiences around exactly for those reasons.
You just landed a role on Jill Solloway’s new series “Transparent." Tell me about that.
“Transparent” is about an LA family with serious boundary issues who have their past and future unravel when a dramatic admission causes everyone's secrets to spill out. Jeffrey Tambor plays the lead, a father who is reconsidering his gender, decides to transition, and comes out at 68 to his three children.
I play the role of “Dale," a furry-faced, lumberjack kind of trans man and the love interest of “Ali," the youngest daughter, played by Gabby Hoffmann. I am playing a character that I happen to share quite a bit in common with. You might say we have similar souls. And for me it's especially exciting to be a trans man playing a trans man on TV. Also, I've craved seeing more of trans people in trans roles on TV. I hope I give Dale's character truth.
The process was absolutely non-traditional Hollywood and now I know now that's exactly who Jill is. She's driven by love, instinct and creative vision in her storytelling, and Amazon trusts her and allows her to keep those core values in the TV show-making process. When she called me to officially offer me the part, I was super emotional and I thanked her and said "I won't let you down." She quickly came back with "No, I won't let YOU down!" I was teary. I can't thank her enough for bringing me into her Transparent family.
You can watch the pilot on Amazon here. The series will be out on Amazon Prime at the end of September.
You recently shot your one hour comedy special “Super Hero," executive produced by Margaret Cho. How has this been received?
I'm really proud that I made MY OWN feature-length concert film, IAN HARVIE SUPERHERO, and that my friend Margaret (Cho) executive produced it. It's about my life and ratting myself out about my feelings about my body and my experiences before, during, and after changing it. It was so well received that it ended up screening at over 25 festivals worldwide including OUTFEST here in Los Angeles and Frameline in San Francisco. It won best of the fest at Palm Springs and Kansas City LGBT Film Festivals and People's Choice at Fort Lauderdale International Film Festival. The film was just released to the public in April 2014 and is now available for download for five dollars on my web site: www.ianharvie.com. Here is the trailer for IAN HARVIE SUPERHERO:
You’ve said you do not identify as “male” but you do identify as a “man." Can you explain the difference?
For me biological sex is something science-y and gender is something I get to play with and create every day. This is just my opinion and how I feel about myself. For me, no matter how much testosterone I take throughout my life, I will always be biologically or genetically female. But if you meet me and talk to me and listen to me and experience me, you will see and feel undeniably that I am a man, albeit a self-made one, but a man, nevertheless. It's not important to me to be male and I am completely accepting and grateful that I was born female. I have such a rich life experience having lived as both man and woman. Not many folks get to claim that experience. I love all of my history even the hard parts. I wouldn't trade a single moment of it! And I also believe that I am who I say I am regardless of what my body might say to the world. It's taken me a long time to get to that place, where I know who I am is not up for public debate.
You take testosterone for your transition and some AA fundamentalists have said that steroid use is a relapse as it can alter your mental state and be psychologically addictive. What is your opinion?
Quite simply, testosterone is not a steroid. It’s a hormone and not physically addictive. It's legitimately prescribed by my physician and what any fundamentalist AA people might think about me or my taking it is not my business.
Self-love, self-acceptance and feeling comfortable in your own skin is something almost all alcoholics seem to struggle with. Do you think it’s harder for gay or trans people to get sober?
Everyone struggles, everyone. In my opinion, and this is just my opinion, my struggle is the same as everyone else's. For me it's not healthy to think that my struggle is harder or easier or more unique. It just is. I have such shared experience with everyone around me: our struggle with self-love, acceptance, being in our skin, sexual identity, or just generally feeling like we’re enough in this world. That describes pretty much everyone I know, sober or otherwise.
So first you came out to your parents as a lesbian. Then as an alcoholic. Then as a transman. What were their reactions to each of these revelations?
Strangely, I think my alcoholism was the hardest for them to grapple. I don't think they saw that the struggle was with booze. And I was pretty young so I think they might have thought I was just trying to figure out who I was, typical youth kind of floundering around. They didn't know I moved to Ohio at 19 because the drinking age was 19 and I thought, THAT'S THE STATE FOR ME! They weren't aware of my obsession with drinking before I ever put it to my lips. And on the other hand, I think they somehow knew for a long time something was going on with my overall sexuality and my gender because I started feuding with my Mom at 4 and 5 years old about not wanting to wear dresses and girl clothes. That feud continued through all of high school and beyond. So I think that was pretty glaring and they couldn't possibly say with a clear heart that they weren't aware of that on some level. But none of these revelations rocked their world. I have unusually unfaltering, loving parents. They are amazing and have stuck by me no matter what and I love them.
What do you have to say to other queer folk struggling with addiction?
I'm right there with you. I get you and you're among good company with your struggle. It gets better. But you gotta stick around sober for it to get better and receive all the amazing gifts. I would give them my number and tell them to call me.
Amy Dresner is a columnist for The Fix. She last wrote about gay pride and hating Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous.
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