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Living Free Every Day®

Today's Scripture

"They traded the truth about God for a lie. So they worshiped and served the things God created instead of the Creator himself, who is worthy of eternal praise! Amen." - Romans 1:25 NLT
Thoughts for Today
When we become obsessed with controlling someone else's behavior, we have a problem called codependency. Codependents center their lives on the person they are trying to help, and as a result they exchange the truth of God for a lie, worshiping and serving a created person (the struggling loved one) rather than God the Creator.
Codependency is harmful because the person becomes mastered by a loved one's problem or becomes a loved one's master (playing God).
Generally, people are not aware that they are enabling and becoming codependent. They are trying to do the right thing, but too often they feel guilty because their efforts are not good enough to make the person they love change. Children are especially vulnerable to this distorted, guilt-ridden thinking.
Consider this …
Christians can be unusually susceptible to codependency. Sometimes when attempting to love others as Christ has commanded us, we slip into enabling behaviors that lead to codependent relationships. The issue of codependency should be approached with balance. According to the apostle Paul, the body of Christ should be interdependent (see Romans 12:7-16 and 1 Corinthians 12:12-27). We need to avoid the extremes of selfish independence and codependence.
Prayer
Father, teach me to love and help people without going to the extreme of trying to fix or control them. Help me to always put you first and trust you to guide me in loving and helping others. In Jesus' name …
These thoughts were drawn from …
Living Free by Jimmy Ray Lee, D. Min. and Dan Strickland, M. Div. This updated version is presented in two parts. It offers information for anyone who either has a life-controlling problem or has a loved one with a life-controlling problem:
Part 1: Learning to Live Free

• Defining Life-Controlling Problems
• Mastered and Trapped by Issues
• Walls of Protection
• Family Influences
• Helping or Harming?

Part 2: Helping Others to Live Free through Small Groups

• The Small Group Strategy
• Effective Facilitation and Communication

Launching a Living Free Ministry

 

 

PO Box 22127 ~ Chattanooga, Tennessee 37421 ~ 423-899-4770
© Living Free 2007. Living Free is a registered trademark. Living Free Every Day devotionals may be reproduced for personal use. When reproduced to share with others, please acknowledge the source as Living Free, Chattanooga, TN. Must have written permission to use in any format to be sold. Permission may be requested by sending e-mail to info@LivingFree.org.

Ways to Give Back		December 18, 2012

Dear Joseph, For more than 20 years, Join Together has been the nation’s leader in providing free, high-quality addiction prevention and treatment information to communities nationwide. It also has operated widely used self-screening and brief intervention websites for substance abuse problems and advocated for evidence-based public policy. Thanks to our ongoing collaboration with the Boston University School of Public Health, The Partnership at Drugfree.org continues the legacy of Join Together’s efforts, but we need your help.     It takes 4 staff and nearly 300 hours a month to keep you in-the-know about the latest drug, alcohol and tobacco news every day. Your loyal support ensures that we can continue to deliver this valuable service. Here are three simple ways you can give back:   Comment and Share: Do you agree or disagree with the latest Join Together headlines? Do you have any expertise or experiences to share? We invite you to comment on our articles and let your voice be heard! Plus, keep your friends, family and colleagues informed by sharing the news on Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn.   Invite: Do you know any individuals or organizations that would benefit from receiving the Join Together eNewsletter? If so, please invite them to sign up here: www.drugfree.org/enewsletters.   Donate: Make your year-end tax deductible donation today to help us enhance and expand Join Together services. Please give as generously as you can...$25, $50, $100, any amount will be welcome and whether you donate as an individual or an organization, any financial contribution is greatly appreciated. Without your support, we cannot get the job done. I hope you will consider getting involved today and help us continue to provide Join Together into 2013 and beyond. Thank you and best wishes for a happy holiday season.   Please make your tax deductible year-end contribution here. Sincerely, Steve Pasierb President & CEO The Partnership at Drugfree.org For questions or comments regarding your donation, please e-mail donations@drugfree.org.

Living Free Every Day®

Today's Scripture
"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." - 1 Peter 5:7 NIV
Thoughts for Today
Enablers work hard to shield their loved ones from the consequences of self-destructive choices. As a result, the enabler brings pain upon themselves that really belongs to their loved one.
In their well-intentioned efforts to help, enablers may

• lie for their loved one
• allow abusive behaviors
• hide the truth from relatives and friends
• defend their loved one when others point out problems
• help them with legal difficulties
• change the home environment to accommodate the person with the problem
• refuse to discuss the problem with anyone

Consider this …
It is difficult to stop enabling a loved one because we don't like to admit that we have no power to change another person. As we take on responsibility—and control—of our loved one, our focus is on "fixing" them. But only God can transform lives. This is a God-size problem, not one we can fix. And we need to step back, to give our worry and anxiety to God, and to trust him.
If we don't come to the realization that we have no power to change another person, enabling will progress to a condition known as codependency. Codependents take ownership of another person's problems, get their sense of well-being from managing the behavior of the dependent person, and end up being controlled by the person they are trying to help.
Prayer
Father, forgive me for trying to take your place in my loved one's life. I realize now that I cannot change anyone's life. Only the power of Jesus can do that. I commit my loved one to you. I pray that he will turn to you for help in making right choices. In Jesus' name …
These thoughts were drawn from …
Living Free by Jimmy Ray Lee, D. Min. and Dan Strickland, M. Div. This updated version is presented in two parts. It offers information for anyone who either has a life-controlling problem or has a loved one with a life-controlling problem:
Part 1: Learning to Live Free

• Defining Life-Controlling Problems
• Mastered and Trapped by Issues
• Walls of Protection
• Family Influences
• Helping or Harming?

Part 2: Helping Others to Live Free through Small Groups

• The Small Group Strategy
• Effective Facilitation and Communication
• Launching a Living Free Ministry 

 

 

PO Box 22127 ~ Chattanooga, Tennessee 37421 ~ 423-899-4770
© Living Free 2007. Living Free is a registered trademark. Living Free Every Day devotionals may be reproduced for personal use. When reproduced to share with others, please acknowledge the source as Living Free, Chattanooga, TN. Must have written permission to use in any format to be sold. Permission may be requested by sending e-mail to info@LivingFree.org.

Living Free Every Day®

Today's Scripture

"Hot-tempered people must pay the penalty. If you rescue them once, you will have to do it again." - Proverbs 19:19 NLT
Thoughts for Today
When someone we care about is struggling with a life-controlling problem, we naturally want to help. But sometimes, even though we have the best intentions, our efforts hurt more than they help … and we end up enabling our loved one to continue in the destructive behavior.
Negative consequences naturally flow from wrong behaviors. When we intervene and prevent someone from experiencing those consequences, they have no reason to change their behavior. We enable them to continue.
Consider this …
Enabling is progressive. It begins by making small allowances for someone's irresponsible behavior and gradually progresses until our lives are dominated by trying to cure and control our loved one. A line must be drawn to avoid the progression. The first time you bail someone out, that's mercy. The second time, it is enabling.
Prayer
Father, I want so much to help my loved one. I have tried to take care of him, to "fix" things, to keep him from suffering. But I see now that continually rescuing him is just prolonging the problem and even making it worse. Help me to trust you more. Help me stand back and allow him to learn. In Jesus' name …
These thoughts were drawn from …
Living Free by Jimmy Ray Lee, D. Min. and Dan Strickland, M. Div. This updated version is presented in two parts. It offers information for anyone who either has a life-controlling problem or has a loved one with a life-controlling problem:
Part 1: Learning to Live Free

• Defining Life-Controlling Problems
• Mastered and Trapped by Issues
• Walls of Protection
• Family Influences
• Helping or Harming?

Part 2: Helping Others to Live Free through Small Groups

• The Small Group Strategy
• Effective Facilitation and Communication
• Launching a Living Free Ministry 

 

 

PO Box 22127 ~ Chattanooga, Tennessee 37421 ~ 423-899-4770
© Living Free 2007. Living Free is a registered trademark. Living Free Every Day devotionals may be reproduced for personal use. When reproduced to share with others, please acknowledge the source as Living Free, Chattanooga, TN. Must have written permission to use in any format to be sold. Permission may be requested by sending e-mail to info@LivingFree.org.

Children in Kentucky Pay Price for Parents’ Prescription Drug Abuse

By Join Together Staff | December 14, 2012 | Leave a comment | Filed in Addiction, Community Related, Parenting, Prescription Drugs & Youth

More than 86,000 children in Kentucky are being raised by someone other than a biological parent, and prescription drug abuse is largely to blame, community leaders say.

CNN reports that while it is difficult to assess how many children are orphaned after a parent overdoses from prescription drugs, state data shows Kentucky is the fourth most medicated state in the country, and has the sixth highest rate of overdose deaths.

“Someone has to take care of these kids, and we simply do not have the facilities to do that,” said U.S. Representative Hal Rogers, whose district in Kentucky is hard hit by prescription drug abuse. “So it’s neighbors, it’s churches, other civic groups that are trying to be parents to these kids who are orphaned by drug-abusing parents. That’s a huge undertaking, because there’s literally tens of thousands of these young children.”

He started the Operation UNITE drug task force in 2003 to fight the prescription drug abuse epidemic in Kentucky. The task force has set up programs at schools across the state to help children who have lost their parents to these drugs.

The state has taken steps to combat prescription drug abuse. Earlier this year, Kentucky Governor Steve Beshear signed into law a bill requiring that all pain clinics be licensed, specifies requirements for ownership and employment, and obliges Kentucky’s licensure board to develop regulations for pain clinics. It gives law enforcement easier access to the state’s prescription drug monitoring database. Doctors must examine patients, take full medical histories, and check electronic prescription records before writing prescriptions for opioids.

Last month, Dan Smoot, Law Enforcement Director of Operation UNITE, noted that as Kentucky begins to see results from its crackdown on prescription drug abuse, officials are reporting a rise in heroin use.