Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Please join us “In The Rooms”  TONIGHT at 7 PM Eastern Standard Time
TONIGHTS Guest Expert: Sara Sencer McArdle, criminal attorney
Topic: How to handle DYFS and drug charges.
After graduating from law school in 1979, Sara Sencer McArdle worked for the Essex County prosecutor’s office. She worked there for more than 20 years, 10 as head of the child abuse division. In 2002, Sara Sencer McArdle moved into private practice. On June 1, 2005, she established her own family law and criminal defense practice.
She has been continuously certified as a criminal trial attorney by the New Jersey Supreme Court since 1983 and provides a full line of family and criminal law services in matters such as child support, child custody, modification of existing court orders, felony defense and representation in Superior Court.
Attorney Sara Sencer McArdle graduated from law school in 1979. Ms. McArdle worked as an Assistant Prosecutor for the Essex County Prosecutor’s Office for 22 years. While there, she spent a decade working as the head of the child abuse division. In 2002, after over twenty-two years of dedicated service, she moved into private practice and opened her own firm in 2005. Sara is certified by the Supreme Court of New Jersey as a Criminal Trial Attorney. Sara McArdle has handled over one hundred jury trials and fifty bench trials in her career. That experience enables Sara to help her clients to feel at ease with the challenges of the courtroom, if you must go to trial.
Sara’s family law practice includes cases involving divorce, child custody, child support and domestic violence. Her criminal practice includes dwi/dui, traffic violations, municipal court issues, and juvenile crime issues. She also handles real estate transactions and wills.
Sara McArdle’s priority is with her clients. Sara works closely with each client to allow you to make a well informed decision and have realistic expectations of the potential outcomes of your legal issues.
At the Law Firm of Sara Sencer McArdle, we represent clients in municipal and criminal courts throughout the state of New Jersey.
In The Rooms Meeting Thursday 7pm ET. Meetings cannot be accessed via phone or tablet. Must use Firefox or Google Chrome as your browser. Please join us! 
 
 
 AV Seminar Sat. 5/9 "Free" if registered by 4/30

 
Hello  
You are invited to the following event:
HEART OF ADDICTIONS SEMINAR (A BIBLICAL PERSPECTIVE) & HOPE FOR THE FAMILY
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Event to be held at the following time, date, and location:
Saturday, May 9, 2015 from 8:00 AM to 12:00 PM (EDT)
Hope Chapel, 28 East Branch Ave., Pine Hill, NJ 08021


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Plenary Session  (9am) Pastor Glen Marshall* - The Heart of Addiction [an exposition of key themes from the book - The Heart of Addiction (A Biblical Perspective) author: Mark E. Shaw] Workshop  (11am) Hope & Help for the Families of Addicts Light Refresnments provided   * Glen Marshall is also co-author of Reclaiming God's Original Intent for the Church   Publisher: NavPress Publishing Group,...


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We hope you can make it!

Blessings,
Daniel Gavin
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Monday, April 27, 2015

April 27 CHP 32 v 5 TWELVE STEPPING WITH STRENGTH FROM THE PSALM


Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt .I said to myself ," I will confess my rebellion to the Lord ." And you forgave me ! All my guilt is gone. (GODS BIG BOOK)


STEPS


4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.



Need I say anymore about how important it is to get rid of all the hurts pains rejections the wrongs we have done and all the reasons we self medicate. The Psalm covers theses steps in two sentences. Clear your conscience and you will discover freedom you have never knew existed. I have found living life without God my way left me addicted broken and not wanting to live. Surrender your Life to god ask Him to help you live His way confess to Him your (sins) in prayer receive His forgiveness and thank Him for the freedom.



1 John 1:9 - If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us [our] sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.(GODS BIG BOOK)By Joseph Dickerson

    
Sat. May 2, 2:00 pm: Life ReScripted Workshop

Do you have painful memories that have been holding you back? 
 
 
Disappointments, anger or frustration that is hard to let go of?




Life ReScripted is a (FREE!) experiential workshop that uncovers and clears unresolved issues that can undermine recovery. There are strong and compelling reasons why these issues persist. 

A rescripting identifies and transforms the root cause of our self-sabotaging choices & behavior.

Requirements to attend this workshop: at least 3 months of sobriety, a support system and a commitment to be responsible and accountable for your actions and behavior within the group. 

Visitors/observers are very welcome - no one has to participate unless they would like to. 

Workshop will be held on Saturday, May 2nd, 2:00 to 5:00 pm at the Dwier Center: 392 Church St Groveville, NJ. Life Rescripted will then be held at same time on the last Saturday of each month. Try it just once or come to every workshop! 


For questions or comments, contact: cityofangelsnj@hotmail.com
Wed. May 6, 6:00 pm: 12 Step Yoga!


"The Issues Live in Our Tissues!"

Y12SR combines the practical tools of the 12 Step program with the ancient wisdom of yoga.
Combining the two creates a model that truly addresses addiction and/or co-dependency as the physical, mental & spiritual dis-eases that they are.
Y12SR is a 12 Step-based discussion and yoga practice open to anyone and everyone dealing with their own addiction behavior or affected by the addictive behavior or others. This is an open & inclusive group - all A's are welcome, as are folks both experienced & completely new to yoga.
Wear comfortable clothing. Meetings are by donation.
1st Wednesday of each month from 6:00 pm to 7:15 pm.
For more info, contact Mark at MMelillo40@gmail.com or visit y12sr.com.
On COARR 
Let's Talk About Recovery!

With 10 original shows, COARR plays Recovery Talk 24/7/365....past shows are available online atwww.coaradio.com/pastshows.html and in each show's online archive. 

Tune in thru the smartphone app (free in the iphone/droid stores) or on www.coaradio.com to hear what's playing now.....


DUIs? Felonies? Custody problems? Other charges? If you are in recovery and have LEGAL issues, now is your chance to get your questions answered! 

COA Recovery Radio is launching a new, original show hosted by an attorney with over 30 years in recovery, who is licensed to practice in both NJ and PA. Recoverees are invited to come on this live show (in person or via phone/text) and ask their legal questions. Anonymity will be protected. 

Anyone interested, contactCityofAngelsNJ@hotmail.com and tell us what you would like to ask the attorney.


Listen to past COARR shows any time: 

For "Women & Addiction" with Terri Thomas, click here. 

For "Wellness in Recovery" with life coach Nancy Tilelli, click here. 

For "Journey Thru the 12 Steps with the Life Recovery Bible," click here. 

For "Share Your Scars" with Vicki, click here.

For "Wings Over Water: Creativity in Recovery" with recovery musician Kathy Moser, click here.

For "Laughter & Recovery" with stand up comic Wil B. Kleen, click here. 

For "Relationships in Recovery" with Alexa, click here. 

For "Saving Lives" with COA Director of Interventions Tom Redneck Clark, click here.
Mon. May 18, 6:30 pm: Advocacy Meeting

Want to make a difference? 
 
The NCADDNJ Advocacy Team needs you! 

The NCADDNJ Mercer/Hunterdon Counties Advocacy Team meets at COA once a month. Here volunteer advocates are given the resources and tools to make a difference in their respective communities about the way addiction is viewed and treated. Currently the Mercer/Hunterdon advocates are working on a video project called "Advocates Speak Out."

The next meeting is Monday, May 18 at 6:30 pm. Pizza will be provided.

For questions or comments, contact: cityofangelsnj@hotmail.com
Bill's Closet: New Clothes for Recoverees



NEW CLOTHING IS AVAILABLE FOR THOSE IN NEED. 

DONATIONS OF CASH TO KEEP BILL'S CLOSET FULL ARE ALWAYS APPRECIATED.... QUESTIONS CALL BILL 609-587-7215


 


Best of the week from Choose Help

Planning a Teen Intervention: Teenagers Do Recover

Planning a Teen Intervention: Teenagers Do Recover
Does your teenager have a problem with drugs or alcohol? You may very well need take some form of immediate action. The sooner the correct treatment regimen is started, the higher the prognosis for long-term recovery.
Recovery is possible at any age. However, similar to the treatment of many diseases, disorders, and conditions, the sooner the correct treatment regimen is started, the higher the prognosis for long-term recovery.
Whether you have strong reason to believe, or you know for a fact that your teenager has a problem with drugs or alcohol, you may very well need take some form of immediate action. Given the exponential surge in the use of designer synthetic drugs alone, there is just no time to wait for that perfect time to talk to your teen about your concerns. Although you might not necessarily make any headway, as long as youcome from a place of heart-felt understanding, and you keep your cool, you can’t mess it up.
Just remember you used to be in their shoes, experiencing some of the same peer pressure, experimenting with life, all with the desire to fit in and find a place of acceptance. In the event that your teenager does admit to having a problem with drugs or alcohol, be prepared to get them to the appropriate treatment provider as soon as possible.
On the other hand, if your teenager is unwilling to address your concerns, or does so with manipulatively divisive and disruptive oppositional defiance, you may want to seriously consider planning a professional teen intervention before the situation at home becomes progressively more complicated, unmanageable, and toxic for everyone involved.
Planning a successful teen intervention can be broken down into 7 basic steps:

STEP 1:

Case Conceptualization

Planning a successful teen intervention is analogous to planning for major surgery, in that each strategically loving move must be made with attention to detail and with surgical precision, even in the heat of the moment.
Although many families try to conduct the intervention on their own, without the guidance, direction, and support of a trained professional interventionist on site, it is almost impossible for them to collectively maintain the steady and objective hand required to effectively maneuver through the process alone. This is one of the main reasons that it strongly suggested to secure the services of a well-trained, competent, and caring professional teen intervention counselor. If you are in need of one, feel free to reach out and I will help you find one that meets your individual needs.
Case conceptualization is the foundation for the teen intervention. It provides the historical detail necessary to help paint the picture from the perspective of both the teen and their and respective family members with definition and clarity.Since I may have to take a person to the edge, show them what’s down below, and how far it can go, I have to be able to carefully gauge each person’s limitations and strengths. And by understanding some of their most significant milestones, deficits, and disorders, I am able to create an intimate and personal bond which I then use to help strengthen the foundation of the intervention. In other words, just like in public speaking, you have to know your audience. Furthermore, the professional teen intervention counselor must be able to relate to the family on a personal level, while at the same time, maintain order, control the chaos, all the while leading with commitment, conviction, and compassion, ultimately bringing everyone back safely to the solution.
And finally, case conceptualization is an integral part of establishing an initial plan for treatment. Like I said from the beginning, “the sooner the correct treatment regimen is started, the higher the prognosis for long-term recovery.” So with that said, it is imperative to select a treatment center and/or a course of treatment that is not only able to address the issues present at the time of the intervention, but one that can also effectively treat major issues potentially lying dormant just beneath the mantle of teenage angst as well.”

STEP 2:

Establish Healthy Boundaries

From my experience, one of the most powerful therapeutic tools to effectively bore right through the sometimes seemingly impenetrable bedrock of teenage denial and resistance is the healthy boundary.
The healthy boundary essentially represents a specific targeted action that a person, or a group of people are prepared to support as a means by which to strategically move another person to take responsibility for their maladaptive decisions and behaviors. By working closely with a well-trained and caring professional intervention counselor, the family is able to establish, and if need be, implement and uphold these healthy boundaries from an objective standpoint, thereby increasing the efficacy of their use during the intervention process. In conjunction to sound professional guidance, direction, and treatment recommendations, I firmly believe that the success of the teen intervention is firmly rooted in the collective loving power of the family to hold and uphold these healthy boundaries. Below are some of the most significant factors to consider when establishing effective healthy boundaries for a professional teen intervention:
  • Personal finances
  • Housing options
  • Legal issues
  • Family relationships
  • Reputation
  • Spiritual beliefs
  • Education
  • Medical conditions
  • Significant others
  • Employment
While healthy boundaries are being established, it is important to recognize that they are meant not as a punishment, but rather as a means by which to help raise your teen’s bottom, thereby creating just enough strategically loving discomfort to help nudge them in the right direction. At this point, it is also important to thoughtfully consider how your teen is going react and respond throughout the intervention process. Carefully consider secure contingency plans to address the following scenarios:
  • Becomes belligerent
  • Threatens/attempts to harm self
  • Runs away

STEP 3:

Share Hope

In addition to establishing a well-defined set of healthy boundaries, as well as a series of comprehensive contingency plans, in my opinion, it is essential to begin the teen intervention with a positive message of hope for the future with a warm and candid look at redeeming personal qualities and cherished memories.
I actually encourage intervention participants to share photos and mementos, such as trophies and plaques during the first part of the teen intervention. And as far as who should actually participate in the intervention, for the most part, it should be limited to the people who mean the most to the teen and who are in full support of holding and upholding the healthy boundaries established to support the intervention process.

STEP 4:

Express Concerns

Once a positive and empathetic intervention tone has been established, each member of the family and invited friends are asked to highlight concerning changes in appearance, behavior, and attitude in the second part of the intervention. I then ask them to express how those changes have negatively impacted their own individual lives.
Without actually asking the teen to admit to having a problem with drugs or alcohol, the goal of the second part of the intervention is to simply help the teen recognize that their actions are negatively impacting the lives of those around them, the people that they love the most. As a matter of fact, in the event that the teen begins to admit to the problem prior making a firm commitment to accept the help outlined in Step5: Offer Treatment, I usually redirect them to hold off until they are ready and willing to do so.

STEP 5:

Offer Treatment

Besides researching my professional background on the internet, families tend to ask me a lot of challenging questions as part of their due diligence. I actually expect them to ask tough questions. It comes with the territory. I understand that people need to have confidence in my ability to get the job done, and then trust in the intervention process itself. Therefore, I have to be able to address their collective concerns with an honest, candid, and solution-focused approach. One of the most commonly asked questions is:“Has anyone not gone to treatment after the intervention.” Once again, similar to surgery, there is no way to guarantee an outcome. As a matter of fact, I suggest that families stay far away from any practitioner that does. Nevertheless, I do guarantee to plan accordingly and to apply all the intervention tools and resources at my disposal to significantly increase the prognosis for a successful outcome.
From my experience, offering the best possible and most clinically sound treatment option is one of the most important factors impacting the long-term success of the intervention process. As I stated in Step 1: Case Conceptualization, “it is imperative to select a treatment center and/or a course of treatment that is not only able to address the issues present at the time of the intervention, but one that can also effectively treat major issues potentially lying dormant just beneath the mantle of teenage angst as well.”
After each family member has had an opportunity to express their individual set of concerns, they are then directed to ask the teen the following simple question:“Will you please accept this gift of treatment today?” The direction and mood of the intervention has a tendency to shift significantly following their response to the question.
If the teen agrees to accept the family supported plan for their treatment without any significant debate and/or battle, we can start to wrap things up with lots of loving support and encouragement, help them pack accordingly for their new environment, and judiciously head out on our way to the pre-selected treatment program. If the teen remains defiant and unwilling to choose to accept the gift of treatment being offered to them, it may be time to gradually begin Step 6: Introduce Healthy Boundaries.

STEP 6:

Introduce Healthy Boundaries

For most families, the most dreaded part of planning for a successful teen intervention is actually having to follow through with the set of healthy boundaries created during Step 1: Case Conceptualization. Although I naturally want the intervention to go as smoothly as possible, I also understand that healthy boundaries can help to reinforce the recovery process long after the intervention is over, like steel rods in cement.
In the event that your teen remains defiant and unwilling to accept treatment even after everyone has had an opportunity to share their fond memories and express their deepest heart-felt concerns, it is probably time to introduce healthy boundaries, gradually implementing each boundary as needed in order of expected level of impact with the most significant ones shared last.
As each boundary is crossed, the expectation is that the teen will ultimately agree to accept treatment as a means by which to stop any further discomfort-causing action. At the end of the day, it may not matter whether or not you actually had to share the healthy boundaries with your teenager, as long as they ended getting the help they needed and your family felt good about both the process and the outcome. As a matter of fact, sometimes it’s better to experience resistance at the time of the intervention, rather than having to try and fight an unexpected battle down the road all alone with a highly intelligent and equally manipulative teen, after all of the extended family has gone back home to cities like Boston, Miami, Dallas, New York, Chicago, Philadelphia, Los Angeles, or Newark.

STEP 7:

Support the Process

After your teen finally agrees to enter into treatment, and most of the emotional dust and debris from the intervention has settled down, it’s time for everyone to begin tosupport the recovery process. At the same time, make every effort to provide their counselors with as much historical detail as possible. Include both the redeeming qualities and the collective concerns of the family outlined during the intervention. And make sure that you keep a list of the healthy boundaries on hand at all times, just in case they need to be revisited at any point along the road to recovery. Without suggesting that anyone was to blame for causing the addiction, the family should be encouraged to take both an individual and collective look at their own unique set of issues and how those issues may have in some way contributed to the overall duration and severity of the symptoms.
The reality is that with enough love and leverage, your teen will ultimately go to treatment, there is a light at the end of the proverbial tunnel, and teens do recover. Simply put, use the time apart to work on your own set of underlying issues with the goal of creating a more recovery-oriented home environment.
At some point, your teen will be coming home, perhaps even as an adult. Nevertheless, here are some recovery-oriented therapeutic interventions and support groups to help you do your part to support the recovery process for everyone involved:
  • Family therapy
  • Individual therapy
  • Marital counseling
  • Al-Anon
  • Alateen
  • Alcoholics Anonymous
  • CoDa
  • Narcotics Anonymous

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And, as always, thank you for reading!
All the best to you and yours,


Martin Schoel,
founder of Choose Help
P.S. If you’d like to dive into the conversation, make sure to follow us on Twitter or like us on Facebook (40K+ people do).
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