Tuesday, October 7, 2014


The Increasing Importance of Ibogaine's Role in Recovery
We talk ibogaine with Dimitri Mugianis, a man who used the psychedelic root to cure himself of a 20-year heroin and cocaine habit and now is using it to treat others in Costa Rica.

via the author



10/03/14





“Ibogaine has the potential to be a bomb; that’s what interests me - bringing a real challenge to health care in this country.”

In 2002, Dimitri Mugianis cured a 20-year heroin and cocaine addiction by taking a drug called Ibogaine – a potent psychedelic that cures opiate withdrawal. He has been treating drug users with the same drug ever since. It is a Schedule 1 prohibited substance in the United States. 

After the DEA busted his operation in 2011, he moved his practice to Costa Rica where Ibogaine is legal. He is currently suing the US government for the right to practice his adopted religion of Bwiti – an African faith where Ibogaine is sacred. 

Ibogaine comes from the root of the Iboga bush, native to Gabon in Africa. Legend says that thousands of years ago, a tribal chief found a porcupine chewing on the root. He speared it. Later, when his wife ate its meat, she began seeing visions. After locating the porcupine’s root, the tribe began to use its visions for healing. Contemporary use has grown out of these indigenous practices. 

Ibogaine painlessly detoxes the most damaged dope fiends, though no studies have yet been done to find out how it does this. Due to the underground nature of Ibogaine treatments, there have been deaths. It is likely these people died due to unknown interactions between different drugs rather than any toxicity in the Ibogaine itself. 

**



You said a few years ago that you are an “Ibogaine Provider” is that still how you see yourself? 

All identity is pain; that’s what the Buddha said, right? I’ve been initiated into the healing tradition of Bwiti so I am a “ganga” or healer.

Were your legal problems the reason you took Ibogaine treatments to Costa Rica?

Yes, I originally did 500 ceremonies in New York, but in order to continue without harassment we had to move to Costa Rica. Right after we got our confiscated passports back.

What do your treatments look like today?

We set up Iboga Life in Costa Rica, which is a treatment facility that combines the best allopathic medicine with Ibogaine ceremonies. We draw from traditions including Qi Gong, acupuncture, and gong therapy. We wanted to go to a place where we could use Ibogaine in a safe atmosphere with the aid of medical professionals

You work with drug users on the street. Are they able to access the center in Costa Rica?

“To each according to his need, from each according to their abilities,” as a great shaman once said. Our goal is to be inclusive as possible, but it’s an expensive proposition. 

So what do you offer the street people instead?

I was blessed to get a job with New York Harm Reduction Educators. I’m like their healer in residence. We do weekly Bwiti ceremonies for folks who are homeless, drug users and formerly incarcerated people. We don’t use Ibogaine, but we have drumming and dancing.

What healing effect does that have?

It builds community among marginalized groups, which is far more effective than whatever label the shrink is going to put on them. I’m less and less interested in “treating addiction” than creating community and love. Folks need to be heard and they need to dance with each other – Bwiti ceremonies provide that. 

You took Ibogaine in 2002, was that your first spiritual awakening?

Crack and heroin were part of a spiritual process that helped me become the healer I am today. All through my drug use I was aware of something going on - the dope houses of Detroit were spiritual places.

Do you see any similarity between the life of Bill W and your life? For instance, you’re both drug users, you take a substance that gives you a spiritual experience and suddenly you devote your life to saving others…

Good question (laughs). If we look at addiction as a symptom of a materialistic society and the antidote is spiritual then, yes, I see a lot of parallels. Bill W founded an anti-materialist, spiritual collective that is unparalleled in modern times. I have a lot of admiration for him. The difference between me and the 12 steps is they’re still involved in consumerism. They’re still going for a product at the end - this thing called “sobriety." Success for me is seeing marginalized people come to find their personhood. 

Bwiti is a foreign religion so why not adapt it to a psychotherapeutic setting which is more accessible to people in the west?

We’re not out to convert people to Bwiti, but we use their ceremonies because they are proven to work with Ibogaine. African traditions are plastic so they mold to new circumstance really well. We do offer secular treatments but 95% opt for the ceremony. Why? Because it’s an appropriate setting. 

Psychotherapy and psychiatry are comparatively young healing arts – they have only been around for 100 years or so whereas Bwiti has a history going back thousands of years. While psychiatry has some great ideas there is the arrogance of adolescence present there and an unwillingness to listen to older and wiser traditions.

You can’t detach the ceremony from the drug— it’s like it’s present in its molecules. For example, one guy we treated was a Sicilian immigrant and when he awoke from his trance he described perfectly a Bwiti ceremony in Africa. When I returned to the village the tribe told me that they had seen him too – in their visions. 

How does Bwiti view the nature of addiction?

The Bwiti would think of addiction as witchcraft or a spell and that metaphor informs the way I work with people. Addiction behaves like a spell because it is passed on ancestrally or through some kind of violation. For example, witchcraft could be sexual abuse or anything that crushes your spirit; for the Bwiti, if that happens, the solution is always plant medicine. 

What other aspects are there to your treatment?

Firstly, we have nurses on hand to monitor their reactions to the drug. Then we help the drug user go through the experience - we talk to them, feed them and shower them with love. It’s not an easy process; it’s not all sunshine and light, but Ibogaine is like a parent. It’s going to be hard sometimes, but ultimately it’s about love.

People do still relapse after Ibogaine treatment though... 

Of course, but we still don’t know what addiction really is. So to say that this treatment or that treatment is going to save your life is to do a disservice to people. All we can do is help as best we can.

So Ibogaine interrupts the withdrawal symptoms associated with opiates, apart from that, isn’t it just an interesting trip?

No, it’s a life changing experience. The visions impart insights and teachings that will go on for the rest of your life. It’s not just something to do on a Friday night.

What kind of effects would those insights have on someone’s life?

All kinds. I’ve seen sexual or gender issues resolved - interestingly enough, there’s never been a gay person who came out straight but the other way around has happened many times. I treated one woman and a few weeks later we had lunch together— it was the first time she ate in front of a man since she was 12 years old. I’ve seen people write a letter to their father who molested them. One guy had a problem with black people and after the healing he started to work with African American communities. I could go on.

You see junkies as emissaries of Ibogaine into western culture. Can you explain that belief?

It’s like the story of Christ healing the leper. Why did Jesus pick this highly politicized body with this obvious condition? Because lepers were feared and marginalized. 

Likewise, I believe Ibogaine picked junkies because they are also politicized, marginalized and a public health issue. And the healing is just as dramatic. You take a junky and give him Ibogaine on Monday and on Tuesday he’s no longer physically dependent. 

So is the Christ story about leprosy? Is the Iboga story about addiction? No, it’s about using the lowest of the low to carry a message 

You have a high profile role in the Ibogaine community, do you worry that you might be doing more harm than good – like some people say that Leary’s work in the 1960s led to LSD being banned and research into its benefits stopped.

Yes (laughs).

So why do it then?

There are people working to bring Ibogaine into the existing medical structure, but I look at the so-called mental health system in this country and it scares the shit out of me. I see its results every day on 125th and Lexington and it’s not pretty. I’m not interested in getting Ibogaine accepted any more; I want to practice my religion and be left in peace.

The risk of continuing underground treatments is that if there was a high-profile death then the prohibition would become more draconian and no one would get treated.

Well that’s true, but you only need to look at the list of side effects for all medicines to see that they too, have the potential to harm. People have died in the Ibogaine underground, but the most dangerous place for a drug user to be is in mainstream society where they die from shame and stigma. 

What would have to change in the world for Ibogaine to be offered to people more readily?

There’s not a lot of money to be made off Ibogaine compared to maintenance therapy, like methadone. And if you free people spiritually then you can’t control them any more. So the for-profit medical and pharmaceutical industry would have to change and people at large would have to open up their minds to the possibility of psychedelic drugs being a force for good in the world.
 
  TAKE ACTION: Stop IT’SUGAR From
   Glamorizing Rx Drug Abuse
October 3, 2014  
    
 
To our Join Together subscribers,

IT’SUGAR, the national retail candy store popular with kids and teens, is currently selling shot glasses and flasks made to look like prescription pill bottles. What's worse is that these products are glamorizing prescription drug abuse, and are being sold right alongside "Hello Kitty," "Frozen" and other merchandise being marketed to kids.
Combined with alcohol, the abuse of prescription medications can be deadly, making the IT’SUGAR drinkware line even more disturbing.

Help us save more lives and prevent teen prescription drug abuse. Please join us in demanding that IT’SUGAR stops selling these irresponsible products immediately. Sign our petition on Facebook Causes and share it with your friends. 


Your support makes a difference. Together, we can #endmedicineabuse.

Marcia Lee Taylor
Senior Vice President, Government Affairs
Partnership for Drug-Free Kids
    
For Families Dealing with Grief.....
Beginning this week, COA will host a new meeting for people who have lost a loved one due to substance abuse.

 
The Hamilton Township NJ GRASP (Grief Recovery After Substance Passing) Chapter
will be located at The Raymond Dwier Center, 392 Church Street, Hamilton Township, NJ  08620. Meetings will be held the 2nd Thursday of every month beginning this Thursday, October 9th, from7:00pm until 9:00pm.  Anyone who would like to attend has to pre-register by calling Laurie Latham at 609-575-5477 or Sue Fares at 609-203-2950.  This is a support group for those coping with the loss of a loved one due to drugs.

Listen to Dave Hentosh, of GRASP Bucks County, talk about grief in two special shows on COA Recovery Radio. To listen to Part I, click here; for Part II, click here.
Merchandise Donations Wanted!

Would you like to donate to a worthy cause but not able to give cash? City of Angels NJ, Inc. now accepts donations of merchandise!

We are looking for high-value items we can re-sell to fund our operations and provide treatment scholarships to individuals without other resources. 

So far, we've successfully sold exercise and sporting equipment, electronics, watches and more.....

If you have an item you would like to donate, please contactCityofAngelsNJ@hotmail.com
On COARR 
Let's Talk About Recovery!

With 10 original shows, COARR plays Recovery Talk 24/7/365....past shows are available online atwww.coaradio.com/pastshows.html and in each show's online archive. 

Tune in thru the smartphone app (free in the iphone/droid stores) or on www.coaradio.com to hear what's playing now.....

Coming in mid October: "Solutions" with Michael DeLeon! Mike is the producer of "Kids Are Dying", a powerful documentary about the drug epidemic in America; he is also the founder of Steered Straight, a non-profit organization that works to prevent drug abuse; and a tireless advocate for legislative reform. "Solutions" will focus on concrete actions that can be taken now to address this problem and feature key leaders & decision makers from across New Jersey and the Tri-State area.

 


NOW ON COARR!

Every Saturday night....a show dedicated to healing from childhood sexual abuse.

Lynn W. shares her powerful story, speaks with others who have been abused and have been affected by abuse, and begins the healing process. 

Tune into new shows atwww.coaradio.com. Listen to past shows at www.coaradio.com/pastshows.html.

To learn more about SFTP, click the image at right to watch a short video clip.
CJ Non Profit Stop Feeding the Predators
CJ Non Profit Stop Feeding the Predators
   
Listen to past COARR shows any time:

For "Women & Addiction" with Terri Thomas, click here.

For "Wellness in Recovery" with life coach Nancy Tilelli, click here.

For "Journey Thru the 12 Steps with the Life Recovery Bible," click here.

For "Share Your Scars" with Vicki, click here.

For "Wings Over Water: Creativity in Recovery" with recovery musician Kathy Moser, click here.

For "Laughter & Recovery" with stand up comic Wil B. Kleen, click here.

For "Relationships in Recovery" with Alexa, click here.

For "Saving Lives" with COA Director of Interventions Tom Redneck Clark, click here.



Greetings,

We have an exciting new group at the Philadelphia Recovery Community Center called Beating The Blues.


Everyday issues, stress and anxiety can build up until they take over your life.

PRO-ACT is proud to host Beating the Blues, a free 8-session program to teach you how to handle life’s bumps and stop them from before you fall flat on your face. AND if you’ve already fallen, you’ll learn how to get back up.

Beating the Blues is a computer-based program that will teach you, step-by-step, how to manage the big and little issues that seem to consume your life. You will also learn how to look at life in a more positive way that can only result in more positive actions. Sign up now.

Sometimes it all just seems to be too much.

It feels like every step forward is followed by two steps backwards.


Beating the Blues is brought to by the Mental Health Association of Southeastern PA—a leader in peer-driven services and made possible by funding from DBHIDS.


Class Information

Classes are every Monday beginning at 12:30PM and running to 2:00 PM. The first class is October 20th. The program is only 8 sessions. Please call 215-223-7700 to register or If you have any questions.


PRO-ACT Philadelphia Recovery Community Center

1701 W. Lehigh Ave., Unit 6, Philadelphia, PA 19119 215-223-7700

Monday, October 6, 2014




Daily Quote

"Every thought you have makes up some segment of the world you see. It is with your thoughts, then, that we must work, if your perception of the world is to be changed." - "A Course In Miracles"


Today's Online Meetings
AA Meeting - 8:00 pm CST: "Face to Face"






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Sunday, October 5, 2014

October 5 Chp 51 v 17 TWELVE STEPPING WITH STRENGTH FROM THE PSALM


The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit.You will not reject a broken and repentant heart ,O God .


STEP 1 - We admitted we were powerless over our addiction - that our lives had become unmanageable.


I have said it before and I will say it again. Addiction is the By-product of a broken heart and a very hard head . Many of our prayers go unanswered because we are too busy playing God .God cant fix your broken heart and remove the desire to use if your playing his part .In the Psalm God is giving you a promise that you will not be rejected if your step 1 is sincere from a broken heart .Getting the heart broken is one of the easiest things we do to ourselves. Denial and Pride are two of the most common heart breakers in the world. Throw in outside sources such as abusive addictive parents to your mix and you will wind up with a prideful self preserving person with a iron clad impenetrable heart .Surrender and brokenness are Gods key to removing your self medicating ways .The blinders are gonna have to come off and if your not willing to remove them God will do it for you through your foolishness. You are the greatest of all his creations.The gift of life he has freely given you is not to be lived defeated , addicted , and way below your potential. Intelligence is one of the gifts we have been given but your pride has strangled it into submission and left you stuck in self defeating ways. When your down and only then God will pick you back up again ,brush you off dry your tears and put you back together again.


Proverb 4: 23 Keep thy heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life.
By Joseph Dickerson

Miley Cyrus' ‘Dirty Hippie’ Art Show Featured Illegal Drugs
The pop singer's display featured a bead-covered bong and tabs of LSD.

Miley's "art". Photo via



10/03/14





Miley Cyrus’ “Dirty Hippie” art show that premiered on Sept. 10 in Manhattan during New York Fashion Week was clearly designed to shock. 

During an interview with V Magazine, Miley Cyrus showed a number of the pieces that were part of the show that the magazine described as “a psychedelic jungle.” The question is why so many of the pieces actually include illegal drugs like pharmaceutical pills, tabs of acid, and blunts.

In the interview, Miley Cyrus explained her wild child approach to making art. “During that 4th of July party, I saw this party hat and I thought it might be fun to glue some shit onto it. I just made it for myself to wear. And then someone was like, Oh this is great, you should keep going… [Pointing] There are drugs in that, and then there’s a blunt.” 

As a self-proclaimed pothead and proponent of Molly in her songs, Miley glued some of the drugs to the sculptures. In the show, it was hard to see the specific drugs because they had been painted over and thrown into a chaotic array of stuff from the life of Cyrus. Nevertheless, nobody could mistake the five-foot bong standing proud in a corner as anything other than a five-foot bong.

Cyrus often posts pictures of her colorful artwork on Instagram, and the five-foot bong covered in beads and knick-knacks has been included as well. The premier of the small exhibit took place in conjunction with Jeremy Scott’s fashion show at the height of Fashion Week. The show can still be seen as it remains on display at the V Magazine office’s gallery in New York City.

Although Cyrus has claimed the show proves that she is more than just some “pop dumb dumb,” there is an argument to be made that including drugs in a show that will be seen by many of her underage fans is a stupid choice. Although the therapeutic impact of the work is undeniable, is it necessary for Cyrus to take such artistic therapy to the point of being a dangerous influence?


The Legal Status of a Criminal Confession in AA
AA encourages members to admit their wrongs, past and present. But are the rooms of recovery as sacred as a church's confessional booth?

Shutterstock



09/30/14





When Paul Cox joined AA he never drank again. 

But working the steps dredged up old memories and by the time he reached his fourth and fifth, the nightmares began. He was shocked at visions too heinous to consider. And he pushed them aside for a time, but the haunting dreams continued until, in a tearful confession, he spilled it all to his girlfriend, also in AA. What followed was a series of confessions, first to his AA sponsor who asked, according to court documents, “What’s the matter? How bad could it be, you didn’t murder anyone did you?” 

The thing is, Cox was pretty certain he had because his nightly apparitions revealed pieces of an alcohol-induced black-out from a much earlier time. As Cox shadowed his own deeds he became more certain, watching frequent re-runs of his crime: The brutal stabbing of a sleeping man and woman in his childhood home. 

So his sponsor sought the counsel of a more seasoned AA member, who also sought the counsel of yet another. And each time, they said, “Don’t drink, go to meetings and don’t tell anyone.” But the confessions continued until the circle grew to seven. It was his girlfriend who eventually outed him, tipping off the cops to what he had done. That led to the interrogation of the remaining confessors, and along with a matching fingerprint from the scene, they had enough to charge Cox with second degree murder. 

The legal battle that ensued shed new light on issues of anonymity and AA confessions. A ping pong between courts had lawyers bantering about such things as cleric-penitent privilege (confessions made in private to a member of the clergy) and how it did or did not apply to Alcoholics Anonymous. In the first trial, the jury was unable to reach a verdict, and a mistrial was declared. A second trial found Cox guilty of manslaughter. But on appeal, Federal Judge Charles Brieant overturned the conviction, and in an unprecedented ruling said that AA was a religious organization, and a confession made to a member could not be used as evidence. A third appeal overturned Judge Brieant’s decision and Cox was again convicted.

So what about all those budding AA neophytes diligently working the steps and preparing to admit to God, themselves and another human being the exact nature of their wrongs? How can they be pushed to confess and then convicted if the deeds are too heinous or in conflict with the confessor’s morals? Some say Step Five is the path to freedom, or is that freedom dependent on the exact nature of the wrongs? Perhaps the real issue is that anonymity is not sacred and a sponsor cannot absolve the penitent of their sins. “The problem with telling people in a meeting, you are subject to the values and mores of those in the group,” says H. Westley Clark, MD, SAMSHA’s director of the Center for Substance Abuse Treatment. “AA cannot pressure a confession and then assure anonymity exists, it is a mischaracterization to offer anonymity…anonymity is not inviolate.” 

Consider the fate of Jamie Kellam Letson who confessed that she killed her college friend with two bullets to the head 30 years earlier. Letson’s sponsor guided her to write a letter to her dead friend and then drove her to the cemetery to read it. That was before the sponsor turned her in and used the letter as evidence. Or Bob Ryder’s AA confession that he had a dead body in his basement that was starting to smell? His sponsor suggested pouring baking soda on the decomposing woman before turning him into authorities two weeks later.

And such confessions of guilt are not limited to the hallowed halls of AA. Back in 1998, more than 200 members of the online support group, Moderation Management, were witness to the online drunken confession of Larry Froisted who admitted to being “wickedly” drunk, purposely setting his house on fire and killing his five year-old daughter, Amanda. Of the 200, only three reported the confession to police. Froisted was later arrested and convicted of his crime.

Crimes committed while drinking and drugging are still crimes, not merely collateral damage from a substance abusing past. And that may be where the confusion lies for the newly sober. Many experts suggest caution and discretion before disclosing information in an AA meeting or to a sponsor.

“Theoretically, everything that is said in an AA meeting is supposed to be kept confidential by all the other attendees, so there would have to be a breach of the AA code if law enforcement is contacted to report a confession,” says Carole Lieberman, MD, Beverly Hills forensic psychiatrist. “Nonetheless, if an alcoholic patient of mine, who was attending AA meetings, asked if he should confess to a crime at an AA meeting, I would certainly counsel him against it.”

Additionally, Lieberman says she would explore with her patient why he wanted to do so. “Was he feeling guilty about his crime and trying to sabotage himself, so that someone would report it and he would be punished?” she says. “Obviously, this would be a self-destructive means of repenting or making amends. If he committed a serious crime, and wanted to turn himself in, then the best way to do so would be to contact law enforcement in the company of one's attorney.”

Especially in an era of social media and cell phones, caution is advised when discussing things with participants, according to SAMSHA’s Clark. “Sometimes someone can be almost tricked into disclosing and you don’t know the motives of your sponsor,” he says. “There is no ethical surveillance…you need to give pause before disclosing.”

The problem for the newly sober is poor cognitive discernment and according to Dix, NY LCSW Richard Buckman, who has been in recovery for many years, “What happens in early recovery is that you say things you shouldn’t say,” he says. “That’s why sponsorship is encouraged.”

According to Buckman, when someone confesses to a crime, members of the group could help them see how to do the right thing. “I know stories of people who have gotten sober and in an effort to live life fully, they turn themselves into authorities.”

So how do 12-step groups build trust under the shadow of possible arrest after a Step Five confession?

“A huge component is trust and feeling safe talking about what they have done,” says Faye S. Taxman, PhD, a university professor in the Criminology, Law and Society Department at George Mason University and director of the Center for Advancing Correctional Excellence at the Washington, DC university. “If it results in negative consequences, they will feel suspicious…If arrests become more prevalent it undermines communities for self-help.”

AA was founded on spiritual principles of anonymity and disclosure. Interestingly however, AA literature defines anonymity at the personal level: anonymity provides protection for all members from identification as alcoholics. The Understanding Anonymity pamphlet never mentions safety from disclosure of a crime. 

In Cox’s situation, his confessions were to appease his gnawing guilt and on appeal the court ruled that his discussions were not to seek spiritual guidance, many occurred outside AA and were therefore not protected. 

William Nottingham Beebe perhaps wishes he had stopped at Step Eight (make a list of those we have harmed). His Step Nine, a letter apologizing to the woman he raped at a UVA fraternity house more than 20 years earlier, led to his arrest in Las Vegas. Much like Cox, Beebe admits he had spoken over the years to his sponsor and other AA members about the incident and it appears he had no intention of serving time for his crime. The letter, to many, seemed merely a way to advance his recovery, appease guilt, and justify his actions as alcohol-related. The problem was, the letter re-opened wounds for Liz Seccuro, his victim, and she decided to press charges. 

In her victim statement Seccuro wrote: "I recognize he has 'turned his ship around,' but that does not mitigate the need for punishment. In his apology, he was grasping at moral absolution so he could move on with his life. He wanted a blank check, a clean slate."

And according to USA Today, Prosecutor Charles Worrell said that Beebe's “decision to apologize was selfish--a decision that traumatized Seccuro all over again. The genesis of AA and the use of step nine in this particular instance was a way for Mr. Beebe to deal with the demons he had within himself." 

Such confessions can reinjure victims and can cause problems for those hearing the confession. Sometimes it is too difficult for the individual to hear. Buckman explains that vicarious traumatization can occur. And what that means is that the person hearing it can be impacted emotionally.

He says the best thing for sponsors is to guide the newly sober into using caution before disclosing. “It is not in their best interest to confess to a crime in that setting,” he says. “It’s best to reserve that for someone with a great deal of experience or a clergy member…it’s best to have the guidance of a mentor with experience.”

There are many in AA who believe a healthy, solid recovery means making amends even if that means going to jail for past crimes. “Imagine a scenario where someone confesses and the community helps the person recognize his or her responsibility to do the right thing, like turning themselves in,” says Taxman. “The process of recovery is taking ownership of what was done. They need accountability. I think we as a society need these types of community-based groups to help us deal with our problems.”

Taxman continues. “Keeping the trust is extremely important. The arrests sends a poor message to the community and they become suspicious of baring their soul in a meeting. The most important part for self-help communities is to realize they have responsibility and sometimes it is legal.”

Neil Kaltenecker Campbell, the executive director of the Georgia Council on Substance Abuse and a Faces & Voices of Recovery board member, who is also in recovery, says an important question when considering such things, is what will keep someone sober? 

“You have to own up to your past and take responsibility for saying what you did in your addiction,” she says. “Recovery is about personal responsibility.”

Kathleen Phalen Tomaselli has written for the Washington Post, the LA Times, USA Today and American Medical News, among other publications. She last wrote about gambling in high placesand the state of addiction funding research.


Keeping It Up in the Porn Industry
To make it in the porn industry, male performers juice up on ED meds. Many end up dependent on them—and some end up in the emergency room.

Shutterstock



09/30/14





About a year ago, Danny Wylde wound up in the emergency room with a large needle sticking out of his erect penis. That wasn’t the problem; it was the treatment. 

After taking 80 milligrams of the erectile dysfunction drug Cialis—four times the recommended daily maximum—the 28-year-old porn performer had developed the erection to end all other erections, or rather, the erection that justwould not end. By the time he took himself to the emergency room, this pharmaceutically-assisted boner had been raging for more than 12 hours straight. If it continued, he risked doing permanent damage to his penile tissue, even losing his career-defining member entirely. The doctors had only one solution: Using a syringe to drain the blood from his penis.


Performing in porn is like being a professional athlete, an occupation now widely linked with drug abuse

Over his eight years in the adult industry, Wylde had routinely used Cialis and occasionally dabbled in the injectible erectile-dysfunction drug Bimix, which is shot directly into the penis. This was the third time it had landed him in the hospital—but this time was different. The ER doctor told him that unless he stopped abusing erectile dysfunction drugs, he might lose the ability to get an erection. “That's when I kind of freaked out,” said Wylde. “I'm not gonna give [sex] up at age 28 so that I can do porn for a couple more years.” He retired from performing the very next day.

It was a devastating decision. “That had been my career for eight years. This was my job, my means of income, my identity—all of that just fell apart overnight,” he says “It was earth-shattering.” You might wonder: Why not continue in porn, only without the pharmaceutical help? Impossible, says Wylde. “Prior to taking the drugs, I failed scenes,” he said. “I would not be able to do it.” 

(Studies have shown that regular usage of Cialis and Viagra by young men in the general populace may lead to psychological dependency on EDs along with the thwarting of normal sexual functionality, which itself increases dependency. ED drug usage in the porn industry far exceeds the public average among young men.)

Wylde’s story might sound extreme, but the off-label use of these prescription drugs is a norm in the adult industry. “I’m aware of two male performers who I actually believe don't take them,” said Wylde. “Everyone else I'm pretty sure does. I would say most people take them every scene.” Sometimes they’re supplied on set by producers or directors. In fact, in 2012 a stagehand sued Adult Entertainment Broadcast Network, alleging that he was forced to inject Trimix into performers’ penises, despite his objection to administering the drugs to men without prescriptions.

Several of the adult industry insiders that I spoke with said ED drugs, especially injectables, are more out in the open on gay porn shoots, partly because of the constant flow of inexperienced male talent and so-called “gay-for-pay” performers in need of assistance becoming aroused. “On straight porn sets, guys try to hide it a little more because of machismo, or they think some girls are uncomfortable with seeing it and knowing a guy has a medicated erection,” says Wylde.

At the start of his career, before he ever touched ED drugs, Wylde tried to perform without a little help. “I was unable to get an erection for more than, like, 30 seconds at a time,” he said. “So we had to cancel the scene.” Then he was introduced to a doctor who gave him samples of Viagra, Cialis and Levitra. I spoke with another male performer, who wished to remain anonymous, who told me about a doctor in so-called Porn Valley who is known for providing ED prescriptions to adult performers. (Unsurprisingly, this doctor did not respond to requests for comment.) Of course, counterfeit, illegal versions of these drugs are available online without a prescription.

Despite the prevalence of ED drugs in the industry, few performers are willing to talk openly about it. When I asked a popular male performer who asked to not be identified whether he’d ever seen other guys on-set taking these drugs, he said, “Male performers are not gonna take ED stuff around other male performers, you should know that. What guy wants to admit that he isn't a naturally sexual stallion?” As for his own regimen, he says, “I generally take half a Viagra if I have two scenes in a day as a little booster. The phrase is, ‘It can't hurt you it can only help you.’”

Well, except that it sometimes does hurt when abused. A few years ago, award-winning porn director Axel Braun had to send a popular male performer to the hospital. They had wrapped a sex scene a few hours earlier and were waiting to shoot some dialogue when Braun noticed the star still had an erection. “He was pasty white and his 12-inch penis was bursting through his pants.” The performer’s erection persisted for six hours. It turned out he had used the injectable Caverject and ended up having the blood drained from his penis at the hospital. “There are only a handful of guys in the whole industry who don't use ED drugs and still can perform at a high level,” says Braun.

What happened to both Braun’s performer and Wylde is called priapism. Dr. Richard Lee, a urologist at the Iris Cantor Men's Health Center, says, “Imagine a tourniquet around your finger. If you’ve got a tourniquet around your finger for a long time, you’re gonna cause damage to the tissues of the finger. So if you’ve got repeated episodes of priapism, then, yeah, you’re gonna have an issue.” But he says that the general class of erectile dysfunction medications is “relatively safe” and that if used properly, “You should be able to use them indefinitely."

But male porn stars’ use of these drugs is by definition not-as-directed, because most don’t have erectile dysfunction to begin with. What’s more, the pressures of professional sex can be conducive to overuse. A whole lot is riding on their erections, as porn director Joanna Angel points out. “Literally an entire 50K-worth of production could all be ruined if your penis can't get hard,” she says. “If they can't perform, it's not just going to ruin their day, it's going to ruin everyone's day on set.” Not only do male performers have to be able to get an erection, they sometimes have to maintain it, or summon it off and on, over the course of three hours, she says.

Wylde says there’s nothing natural about what’s required of male performers. “If your sole job is to have an erection and get it done quickly so that everyone can get home on time,” he said, “you need to be a machine” —or a medicated human. In that sense, performing in porn is like being a professional athlete, an occupation now widely linked with drug abuse. “Look at UFC, football, basketball. Look at weight lifting,” he says. “Nobody is natural. All of that is a result of steroids and performance enhancing drugs.” The truth, he says, is that without the help of ED drugs “you're just going to be horrible at it—unless you're a mutant.”

Beyond just the endurance required, there is the occasional unsexiness of the sex. “I just don't think most men have an experience where basically you meet somebody and you're supposed to engage in some sexual encounter with them without perhaps having any attraction to that person and perhaps without that person having any interest in you,” he says.

It’s uncommon to become physically addicted to ED drugs, says Dr. Lee, but Wylde is convinced that he was at least psychologically dependent. His push-pull relationship to the drugs certainly relates to that of addiction. He used Bimix for a couple months and then ended up in the hospital the first time, which led him to stop for several years. But then he says, “I used it on several occasions during times where I just felt stressed out in my life and was having a hard time doing my job,” he said. “I went back to it and then I would have these really lengthy erections after work and it scared me and I would try to stop and would, usually for months to a year, and then at the end, the last year or two I was basically just using Cialis, but more frequently and using more of them per scene.”

Now, a year after that fateful hospital trip, Wylde is in some ways glad it happened, because it pushed him into editing and production work. It also revitalized his sex life. “I luckily had a partner who stayed with me through that process and kind of rekindled my sexual experience outside of using those drugs,” he says. “Now things are great. All is in working order, which is nice.” Despite his experience, Wylde has no hard feelings toward the industry, which he now works in behind the scenes. “People have asked me if I think it's a problem, am I against using ED drugs? My answer is not really. The reason is, I don't think that most people should get into porn to be honest. It’s not what people think.”

Tracy Clark-Flory is a staff writer at Salon and a freelance journalist