Recovery Connections Network

Tuesday, November 13, 2018

“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” ~~Dalai Lama

“In this life we cannot always do great things. But we can do small things with great love.” ~~Mother Teresa

“If you care enough, you make a difference.” ~~Loretta Swit

Statement #7

Love can change the course of my world.

Caring is all-important.

Under the influence, caring was difficult, if not impossible. Escape, whether emotionally or physically seemed safer. Years of not understanding how to care, even for myself, created intense feelings of loneliness. Yet caring opens the door to vulnerability, and through the clouded lens of alcohol, being vulnerable meant disaster. Distress and disconnection seemed easier than caring.

Sobriety and Statement #7 in action are a portal to trust and caring. Caring doesn’t have to be anything spectacular or fancy, a simple smile or genuine ‘good morning’ could be just enough for someone. Treading into uncharted territory, real friendships can blossom from the many 4C women who choose to care and bring Statement #7 to life from the WFS Forum or weekly face to face meetings.

Our Program Booklet states “Practice of Statement #7 leads to understanding love and the importance of self-care. Our New Life depends on establishing healthy, loving relationships, first with ourselves and then with others.” With clarity and determination, caring can become a way of life and can make all the difference in the world.

Hugzzz

Karen

Hi 4C Women,

I remember when I first read this Statement years ago and thought, well, I am a great people pleaser so I have this covered. As I gained emotional sobriety, I realized that the most important person left out of the loving and caring was me! I have a quote that is entitled, "The Most Important Relationship" that I have shared over the years. It meant a lot to me when I was going through some very difficult times in my life. The words expressed and embracing Statement #7 taught me an invaluable lesson and that is loving myself was the key to healthy relationships with others.

Through the years of emails, phone calls, texts, face to face meetings, one on one with those women who needed extra support and the WFS conference, each has filled my life with more love than I ever imagined possible. I truly do care about those women who have come into my life, whether it's attending a meeting or two or the treasure of many years of friendship. There are times when I send emails to those I haven't heard from in a while, hopeful to hear back and learn how they are doing. I am overjoyed when I receive a response. I especially experience the feeling of caring when I lead a meeting and there are familiar faces and new faces full of hope. I feel its intensity and it brings this statement to life. Learning to love and care for myself has led to loving and caring for others in developing healthy relationships.

Jean, WFS founder, wrote, "Our value as a person often depends on our relation to others and not on our own worth. On the other hand, we fear and dread rejection and hurt. Mature, loving relationships can bring us the greatest happiness of all. And their success depends primarily on how we feel about ourselves."

The Most Important Relationship

You do not need to be loved… not at the cost of yourself.

The single most important relationship which is central is the relationship with self.

It is rewarding to find someone you like but essential to like yourself.

It is quickening to recognize that someone is a decent human being but it is indispensable to view yourself that way.

It is a delight to discover people who are worthy of respect, admiration and love, but it is vital to believe yourself worthy of respect, admiration and love.

For you cannot live in someone else.

Of all the people you will ever know in a lifetime, you are the only one that you will never lose or leave.

To the question of your life, you are the answer.

To the problem of your life, you are the solution.

Jo Coudert

Bonded in caring, loving and building healthy relationships with self and others, 4C WFS Member